A presentation on the technique of developing assertiveness.

1. THE ART OF BEING ASSERTIVE

2. Assertiveness is not about trying to Dominate others

3. FOUR BEHAVIOURS

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5. PASSIVE Offering no opposition ; submissive . This communicates a message of inferiority Here the person acts like a doormat, downplaying their own needs and willing to fit in with the wishes of others in order to keep the peace at any price. It may be accompanied by general passivity, nervousness and a lack of eye contact.

6. AGGRESSIVE Forceful and offensive. Attack without provocation . This always communicates an impression of superiority and disrespect. This may occur where a person is trying to impose their views inappropriately on others, and it may be accompanied by threatening language and an angry, glaring expression.

7. MANIPULATIVE This typically occurs where a person seeks to ingratiate themself with another through flattery and other forms of deceit. It may be accompanied by cloying over-attention and a simpering, smarmy voice June 7, 2009 Advesh Consultancy Services

8. ASSERTIVENESS State clearly and forthright . Is the ability to express yourself and your rights in an open, non-confrontational way.

9. The key to assertiveness is clear, open and honest discussion that does not blame, ridicule or put other people down .

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14. ASSERTIVENESS TECHNIQUE OVERVIEW

18. CREATING SELF ESTEEM WHAT IS SELF ESTEEM?

22. COMMUNICATION VOICE AND LANGUAGE

30. June 7, 2009 Advesh Consultancy Services NONASSERTIVE ASSERTIVE AGGRESSIVE Quiet, soft , higher pitch Hesitation , stopping in midstream Nervous laughter Statements sound like questions Resonant , firm , pleasant Smooth , even flowing , comfortable Laughter only with humour Voice tones stay even Loud or harsh or steely quiet Biting off words, precise , measured delivery Sarcastic laughter Statements sound like orders or pronouncements

31. COMMUNICATION BODY LANGUAGE

33. BODY LANGUAGE P0STURES

34. June 7, 2009 Advesh Consultancy Services NONASSERTIVE ASSERTIVE AGGRESSIVE Slumped Shoulders forward Shifting often Chin down Sitting: LEGS ENTWINED Erect and relaxed Shoulders straight Few shifts Head straight Sitting: LEGS TOGETHER/CROSSED Erect, tense, rigid Shoulders back Jerky shifts Chin up Sitting: HEELS ON DESK,HANDS BEHIND HEAD

35. BODY LANGUAGE GESTURES

36. June 7, 2009 Advesh Consultancy Services NONASSERTIVE ASSERTIVE AGGRESSIVE Fluttering hands Twisting motions Shoulders shrug Frequent head nodding Casual hand movement Relaxing hands Hands open Occasional head nodding Chopping with hands Clenched hands or pointing Sweeping arms Sharp, quick nods

37. BODY LANGUAGE FACIAL EXPRESSION

38. June 7, 2009 Advesh Consultancy Services NONASSERTIVE ASSERTIVE AGGRESSIVE Lifted eyebrows, rapid blinking Nervous or guilty smile Chewing lower lip Shows anger with averted eyes Relaxed, thoughtful, caring look, few blinking Genuine smile Relaxed mouth Shows with flashing eyes and serious look Furrowed brow, unblinking glare Sarcastic smile Tight jaw Shows with disapproving scowl, very firm mouth

46. PERSISTENCY BROKEN RECORD AND WORKABLE COMPROMISE

47. BROKEN RECORD A SKILL THAT BY CALM REPETITION- SAYING WHAT YOU WANT OVER AND OVER AGAIN- TEACHES PERSISTENCE WITHOUT YOU HAVING TO REHEARSE ARGUMENTS OR ANGRY FEELINGS.

48. WORKABLE COMPROMISE WHENEVER YOU FEEL THAT YOUR SELF RESPECT IS NOT IN QUESTION, OFFER A WORKABLE COMPROMISE TO THE OTHER PERSON.

50. HANDLING CRITICISM FOGGING NEGATIVE ASSERTION

56. Your boss criticises you for something that you know without a doubt you didn’t do

57. A new member of your Team is critical of your Department and always tell “we in Company X would do like this”

58. Your neighbour keeps TV volume very high and it irritates you.

59. You have to send your monthly sales report and you were waiting for some information from Accounts for you to complete. There is delay in getting the information and the person is attending to some other unimportant work