Atunci când interacționăm unii cu alții, cel mai adesea ne "testăm". Facem asta în glumă, pentru a ne conecta, pentru competiție sau dominanță. Numim aceste interacțiuni jocuri sociale. Frame-ul este perspectiva interacțiunii. Persoana care domină interacțiunea este cea care controlează frame-ul. Devine vizibilă mai ales în interacțiunile intersexuale sau în cele legate de dominanță, putere (politice). Există tehnici pentru framing/reframing dar cel mai mult starea mentală (mindset). Cu ajutorul acestora putem să ajungem mai bine, să controlăm discuții, acțiuni, echipe.

1. Frame. Framing. Reframing
R˘azvan Deaconescu
razvan.deaconescu@cs.pub.ro
Excursie PR708 & friends
16 februarie 2019
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2. ˆIntˆampl˘ari
Megyn Kelly: “You’ve called women you don’t like ‘fat pigs,’
‘dogs,’ ‘slobs,’ and ‘disgusting animals”’
Trump interrupted her with a quip: “Only Rosie O’Donnell”.
Hillary Clinton: (aprox.) “How can someone who has been
repeatedly accused of harassing women expect to become the
President of the United States?”
Donald Trump: “Ask Bill.”
RD: “Uite, as, a a reus, it Sergiu s˘a se opreasc˘a s˘a se masturbeze ˆın
PR708.”
Sergiu: “M-am oprit?”
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3. Frame is Everything
perspectiv˘a a interact, iunii (tranzact, ie social˘a)
conteaz˘a mai mult ˆın frame-ul cui se act, ioneaz˘a decˆat cine are
dreptate
cine se scuz˘a se acuz˘a
There is no such thing as bad publicity.
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked
about.
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4. Frame Breaking
supunere la presiune, cedarea punctului de vedere, persepectivei,
frame-ului
enervare, pierderea controlului, submisie, scuze, “op˘arire”,
triggering
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5. Framing. Reframing
framing: stabilirea perspectivei (tu init, iezi)
reframing: restabilirea perspectivei (tu react, ionezi)
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6. Framing
Traian B˘asescu: “Ce blestem o fi pe acest popor de a ajuns s˘a
aleag˘a ˆıntre doi fos, ti comunis, ti, ˆıntre N˘astase s, i B˘asescu?”
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7. Reframing: Tyrion Lannister
Joffrey: “I could tell the Hound to cut you in half!”
Tyrion: “That would make me a quarter-man. Just doesn’t have
the same ring to it.”
Tyrion Lannister: “I am Tyrion, son of Tywin of Clan Lannister.”
Shagga: “How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Tywin?”
Tyrion Lannister: “In my own bed, at the age of 80 with a belly
full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my cock.”
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8. Reframing: Scene din filme
Crazy Stupid Love:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kxOo5QotdA
Michael Corleone vs Hyman Roth:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOoqlrhDabw
Tyrion vs Daenerys:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zikSq-QiA7U
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9. De ce framing/reframing?
people test you, people push you
dominant, ˘a, putere, seduct, ie
“Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about
power.” (Oscar Wilde)
respect
bonding
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10. You Will Be Tested
test de congruent, ˘a
vrei s˘a vezi ce este cu adev˘arat cineva, care e adev˘arata fire
competit, ie pentru ierarhie
interact, iuni de toate felurile, cele mai evidente ˆın interact, iuni
intersexuale, politice s, i de dominant, ˘a/putere
joc social
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11. Testing
JAIME: You clearly have no intention of saving your men’s lives.
Why did you come treat with me?
BLACKFISH: Sieges are dull. And I wanted to see you in person,
get the measure of you.
JAIME: Well, now you have.
BLACKFISH: Aye, now I have. I’m disappointed.
(as Arthur has come to claim the Trident) Karathen: You do not
belong here. I have guarded the Trident against false kings since
the beginning and for a thousand years. I have seen the greatest
champions try and failed, but never have I sensed one as unworthy
as you. You dare to come here with your tainted mongrel blood to
claim Atlantis’s greatest treasure? So be it. Half breed.
(as Arthur is trying to claim the Trident) Karathen: You thought
yourself worthy? You thought yourself a king? You dishonour this
place with your presence.
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12. Tehnici de reframing
agree and amplify
disagree and amplify
non sequitur
assume the deal/sale
deflect
reflect
amused mastery
ambiguity
conteaz˘a contextul
Crezi c˘a rochia asta m˘a face gras˘a?
Ai fost mereu atˆat de prost?
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13. Bonding
ball busting
“Men bond by trading insults they don’t really mean. Women do
the same with compliments.”
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14. Mindset de framing
relaxat
agresivitate controlat˘a, rat, ional˘a
autoritate
ˆıncredere / confidence
amuzant, bun˘a dispozit, ie
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15. Mindset de reframing
ZFG (Zero Fucks Given)
outcome independence
abundance mentality
unfazed
confidence
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16. Anti-mindset de reframing
pasiv agresivitate, defensivitate
sensibilitate, triggered
te ataci, agresivitate atacat˘a
apologetic, scuze
react, ii emot, ionale
fric˘a puternic˘a
lips˘a de control
neediness, need to please, need to be praised
societal programming: be nice, be modest, be tolerant, don’t
attack others
self deprecation
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17. Cum faci bine framing/reframing?
ˆInvet, i mai multe de la oameni care ˆıt, i fac viat, a grea decˆat de
la oameni care ˆıt, i fac viat, a us, oar˘a.
sor˘a-mea, Alexandra S˘andulescu, R˘azvan Rughinis, , Costin
Carabas,
intimidant, i, se iau de tine, te testeaz˘a des
Simte-te bine ˆın propria piele. Es, ti imperfect, ca noi tot, i.
Accept˘a asta. ˆImbun˘at˘at, es, te unde pot, i.
Listen to your gut. Fii congruent. Urm˘ares, te modele dar
potrives, te-le cu tine.
Observ˘a. ˆInvat, ˘a.
Ai r˘abdare. Nu e us, or. Dureaz˘a. Nu se termin˘a niciodat˘a.
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18. Ret, ete
Nu exist˘a ret, ete. You are never ready but you can be better.
dar . . .
Progress breeds achievement. Achievement breeds confidence.
Urm˘arit, i. Observat, i. Dezbatet, i. ˆInv˘at, at, i.
Interact, ionat, i cˆat mai mult. Discut, ii, activit˘at, i, subiecte
contondente, confruntat, ionale, controversate.
Fit, i asertivi. Spunet, i ce vret, i. Nu v˘a jenat, i. Nu exist˘a sacru.
Spunet, i pe bune.
Controlat, i s, i controlat, i-v˘a. Fit, i st˘apˆani pe sine s, i pe situat, ie.
Fit, i amuzant, i, bucurat, i-v˘a.
Nu e us, or.
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19. Real Friends Test and Ball Bust
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20. Real Friends Test and Ball Bust (2)
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21. Frame. Reframe. Play the game.
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22. Resurse s, i recomand˘ari
slide-urile prezent˘arii:
https://www.slideshare.net/razvandeaconescu/
Eric Berne: Games People Play
Ed Latimore: Not Caring What Other People Think Is A
Superpower
Mark Manson: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Robert Greene: The Art of Seduction
Robert Cialdini: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
Scott Adams (website, Twitter, videos)
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