Working with Emotional Intelligence - A must read for all CEO's , aspiring CEO's leaders and HR professionals

1. Some Impressionistic takes from the book
of Daniel Goleman
“Working with Emotional Intelligence “
by Ramki
ramaddster@gmail.com

2. About Daniel Goleman
Daniel Goleman received his Ph.D. from
Harvard University, where he teaches. He
heads a Boston consultancy on Emotional
Intelligence. He reported on mind-body
science for The New York Times for many
years and is the author of numerous books,
including the pioneering Emotional
Intelligence.

3. Author Daniel Goleman applies the rules of “Emotional Intelligence" to the
workplace. Being intelligent counts in the world of business, but the
interpersonal smarts referred to as "emotional competencies" count even
more.
Goleman, who wrote the seminal book Emotional Intelligence, underscores his
conclusion with numerous studies and anecdotes, showing that those who
have "people skills" are likelier to succeed. Skills that help teams collaborate
are increasingly important as coalition building emerges as the model for
getting things done.
Goleman includes thorough guidelines for implementing effective "EQ" training
programs. Companies that train managers in “Emotional Competencies" reap
concrete business benefits: increased revenues, more seamless teamwork,
and constant improvement based on analysis & feedback. This document
captures this well-written book on how understanding feelings adds to your
bottom line.
Prelude

4. About Emotional Intelligence & I Q

6. What are Emotions?
Internal conscious states that
we infer in ourselves &
others.
 Emotions are private
experiences.
 We use operational
definitions because we
cannot actually see
feelings.
 We infer observable
behavior associated with
emotion.

7.  Emotional intelligence is not about being nice all the
time- It is about being honest.
 Emotional intelligence is not about being “touchy-
feely.”- It is about being aware of your feelings, and
those of others.
 Emotional intelligence is not about being emotional-It
is about being smart with your emotions.
What is Emotional Intelligence

8. Why EI is important ?
 More than 50% of the people lack the motivation to
keep learning & improving
 Four in 10 people cannot work in teams
 70% of all change initiatives fail because of
 People issues
 Inability to lead
 Lack of teamwork
 Unwillingness to take initiative, & inability to deal
with change

9.  IQ refers to the analytical, mathematical and logical reasoning
capabilities of a person.
 EQ measures his personal skills and power to use to
emotions.
 EQ can be improved upon and learned, however , IQ is
something you are born with.
 EQ is more relevant to success and happiness in life, IQ
determines whether you have the innate abilities for it.
 IQ decides your individual capacities and intelligence,
 EQ decides whether you are a team player or how well you
will respond to a crisis.
EQ - IQ

10.  Given how much emphasis schools & admissions tests put
on it, IQ alone explains surprisingly little of achievement at
work or in life.
 When IQ test scores are correlated with how well people
perform in their careers, the highest estimate of how much
difference IQ accounts for is about 25%
 This mean that IQ alone at best leaves 75% of job success
unexplained
The Limits of I.Q

11. What is the difference between IQ & EQ
 IQ ensures your success in school
 EQ ensures your success in life
 Suppose you find out about a problem at your office. You
know the facts and the reason behind the failure. That is your
IQ
 When you use these to motivate your employees, that’s your
EQ.
 If you know the facts, but are unable to empathize with your
employees, berate and de motivate them, you have a low
EQ.
 When you try to convince someone by facts alone, it shows
your IQ, but when you appeal to his emotions and reason
together with the use of facts, that’s your EQ!

12. Difference between IQ & EQ

13. Lets start with the history of EI

14. 1870s Charles Darwin first comments on the term
Emotional Intelligence
1930s Social intelligence first identified by EL Thorndike
1940s Wechser suggests that affective components of
intelligence may be essential to success in life
1950s Psychologist, Abraham Maslow, describes how
people can build emotional intelligence
1970s Howard Gardner’s book, The Shattered Mind,
introduces the concept of multiple intelligences
1980s Psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer
publish their landmark article
1990s Daniel Goleman popularizes EI with his best selling
book that advocates EI ahead of IQ

15. The top 3 EI models in use today are:

16. Salovey-Mayer Model
Has four emotional branches &
suggests that your motions
make you smarter via:

17. Emotional
perception
& identification;

18. Emotional facilitation of
thought;

19. Emotional understanding; and

20. Emotional
management.

21. The Bar-On Model
Comprises five domains upon
which to assess your emotional-
social traits. These are:

22. Self awareness and
Self expression;

23. Social awareness and
Interpersonal relationship;

24. Emotional management and regulation;

25. Change management; and

26. Self motivation.

27. The Goleman Model
Takes the approach that EQ provides the foundation
for competencies of personal and social skills that lead
to superior performance in the work place.

28. Goleman contrasts self

29. As opposed to other.

30. Then acknowledges the differences
between recognition

31. and regulation.

32. Author reveals the skills that distinguish
Star performers in every field- from entry
level positions to middle –level to the top
management positions.
Most important factor is not IQ, advanced
degrees or technical expertise, but the
quality called “ Emotional Intelligence”.
This shows that we all possess the
potential to improve out the EI- at any
stage of our careers, as individuals or as
a team members in an organization
The Big idea

33. Beyond Expertise

34.  The rules are fast changing.
 We are being judged by a new yardstick
 Not just by how smart we are, or by our training and expertise
 But also by how we handle ourselves and each other
 This is increasingly applied in choosing who will be hired and not
who will be let go or retained.
 The new rule predict who is most likely to become a star performer
& who is most prone to derailing.
 No matter what field we work in currently , they measure the traits
that are crucial to our marketability for future jobs .
 These rules have little to do with what we were told was important
in school ; academic abilities are largely irrelevant to this standard.
 The new measure takes for grated we have enough intellectual
ability & technical know-how to do our jobs; it focuses instead on
personal qualities, such as initiative & empathy, adaptability &
persuasiveness.
The New yardstick- 1/2

35.  Research distils with unprecedented precision which qualities
mark a star performer.
 And it demonstrates which human abilities make up the greater
part of the ingredients for excellence at work- most especially for
leadership
 In a time with no guarantee of job security , when the very concept
of a job is being replaced by “ portable skills”, these are prime
qualities that make and keep us employable.
 Talked about loosely for decades under a variety of names from “
character’ and ‘ personality’ to ‘ soft skills’ and ‘ competence’,
there is at last a more precise understanding of these human
talents emotional intelligence.
The New yardstick- 2/2

36.  First EI does not mean merely “ Being Nice ”
 E.g. : Bluntly confronting someone with an
uncomfortable but consequential truth they have
been avoiding.
 Second, EI does not mean giving free rein to feelings
 It means managing feelings so that they are
expressed appropriately & effectively.
 Enabling people to work together smoothly
toward there common goal.
 Women are not “ smarter” than men when it comes to
EI, nor men superior to women.
 Lastly levels of EI are not fixed genetically nor does it
develop in early childhood.
 Unlike IQ which changes little after our teen
years, EI seems to be largely learned.
 It continues to develop through life & learn from
our experience
Some Misconceptions

37.  A survey of USA employers reveals that more than half the people who work for
them lack the motivations to keep learning & improving in their job.
 Four in ten are unable to work in teams with fellow employees
 19% of those applying for entry-level jobs have enough self-discipline in their
work habits.
 More and more employers are complaining about the lack of social skills in new
hires
 A national survey of what employers are looking for
 Listening & oral Communication
 Adaptability & creative responses to setbacks & obstacles
 Personal management, Confidence, Motivation to work toward goals, a
sense of wanting to develop one’s career and take pride in
accomplishments.
 Group & interpersonal effectiveness, cooperativeness and teamwork,
skills at negotiating disagreement .
 Effectiveness in the organizations, wanting to make a contribution,
leadership potential
What Employers want ?

38.  EI skills are synergistic with cognitive ones’ top
performers have both .
 The more complex the job, the more EI matters- if only
because a deficiency in these abilities can hinder the
use of whatever technical expertise or intellect a person
may have.
 Out of control emotions can make smart people stupid.
 The aptitudes you need to succeed start with intellectual
horsepower- but people need EC , too, to get full
potential of their talents.
 The reason we don’t get people’s full potential is
Emotional Incompetence
Competencies of the stars

39. Expertise
 A combination of common sense plus the
specialized knowledge & skill we pick up in the
course of doing any job.
 Comes from in-the-trenches learning
 It shows up as an insider’s sense of the tricks of a
trade- the real knowledge of how to do a job only
experience brings.
 Be that as it may, expertise is “ threshold
requirement”.
 The abilities that distinguish the outstanding
supervisors in technical fields are not technical , but
rather relate to handling people

40. Emotional Competence
 Emotional Competence is a learned capability based
on emotional intelligence that results in outstanding
performance at work.
 The great divide in competencies lies between the
mind & heart or , more technically, between cognition
& emotion.
 Some competencies are purely cognitive, such as
analytic, reasoning or technical expertise
 Others combine thought & feeling, these can be
called ‘ Emotional competence .

41. Emotional Competence
 Our emotional intelligence determines our potential for learning the practical
skills that are based on its five elements:
 Personal Competence
 Self-awareness- Knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources &
intuitions
 Motivation- Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals. This
includes achievement drive, commitment, initiative & optimism.
 Self-regulation- Managing one’s internal states, impulses & resources. This
category includes self-control, trustworthiness, Conscientiousness,
Adaptability & Innovation
 Social competence
 Empathy,: Awareness of other’s feelings, needs & concerns: Competencies
include understanding others, developing others, a service orientation,
leveraging diversity & political awareness
 Social skills : Adeptness at inducing desirable responses to others- This
category includes influence, communication, conflict management,
leadership, building bonds, collaborations & co-operation , team capabilities

42. Emotional Competence
 Our emotional competence, on the other hand, shows how much of
that potential we have translated into on-the-job capabilities.
 For instance, being good at serving customers is an emotional
competence based on empathy.
 Likewise, trustworthiness is a competence based on self-regulation,
or handling impulses and emotions well.
 Both customer service and trustworthiness are competencies that
can make people outstanding in their work.
 Simply being high in emotional intelligence does not guarantee a
person will have learned the emotional competencies that matter for
work; it means only that they have excellent potential to learn them.

43. The Structure of Emotional Competence
Personal
Competence
Emotional
Competence Social
Competence
Self
Awareness
Self
Regulation
Social
Awareness
Social Skills
 Emotional
Self
Awareness
 Accurate
Self
Assessment
 Self-
Confidence
 Emotional Self
Control
 Trustworthiness
 Conscientiousness
 Adaptability
 Innovation
 Empathy
 Understanding
others
 Developing
others
 Leveraging
diversity
 Political
awareness
 Organizational
awareness
 Service
Orientation
 Communication
 Influence
 Conflict Mgt.
 Change Catalyst
 Leadership
 Problem solving
 Building
Relationship
 Collaboration &
co-operation
 Team Capabilities
Relate to Ourselves Relate to Others
Motivation
 Achievement
drive
 Commitment
 Initiative
 Optimism
 Happiness

44. The Leadership Edge
 Emotional competence is particularly central to leadership
 A role whose essence is getting others to do their jobs
more effectively.
 Interpersonal ineptitude in leaders lower everyone’s
performance
 It wastes time
 Creates acrimony
 Corrodes motivation & commitment
 Builds hostility & apathy
 A leader’s strengths or weakness in EC can be measured in
the gain or loss to the organization of the fullest talents of
those they manage

45. Self- Mastery

46. The Inner Rudder
 The ability to read subjective currents has primordial roots in evolution.
 The brain areas involved in gut feelings are far more ancient than the thin
layers of the neocortex, the centres for rational thought that enfold the very top
of the brain.
 Hunches start much deeper in the brain.
 They are a function of the emotional centres that ring the brain stem atop the
spinal cord — most particularly an almond-shaped structure called the
amygdala and its connected neural circuitry.
 This web of connectivity, sometimes called the extended amygdala, stretches
up to the brain’s executive centre in the prefrontal lobes, just
 behind the forehead.
 The brain stores different aspects of an experience in different areas — the
source of a memory is encoded in one zone, the sights and sounds and smells
in other areas, and so on.
 The amygdala is the site where the emotions an experience evokes are stored.
 Every experience that we have an emotional reaction to, no matter how subtle,
seems to be encoded in the amygdala.

47. The Power of Intuition – The first 30 seconds
 Credit managers must sense when a deal might go bad even
if the numbers look fine;
 Executives have to decide whether a new product is
worth the time and money it takes to develop;
 People must make an educated guess about who among
a field of candidates for a job will have the best chemistry
in a working group.
 All such decisions demand the capacity to fold into the
decision-making process our intuitive sense of what is right
and wrong.
 Intuition and gut feeling bespeak the capacity to sense
messages from our internal store of emotional memory – our
own reservoir of wisdom and judgment.
 This ability lies at the heart of self-awareness.

48. Personal Competence

49. Self Awareness
(Relate to Ourselves)
Knowing what we are feeling in the moment, and using those preferences to
guide our decision making; having a realistic assessment of our own abilities
& a well-grounded sense of self-confidence
 Emotional Self Awareness
 Accurate Self Assessment
 Self-Confidence

50. The ability to recognize
& understand one’s
feelings and emotions,
differentiate between
them, know what
caused them and why.
Self Awareness

52. Practicing Self-awareness
 Awareness of our own emotional states is the
foundation of all the E.I. skills.
 Learn to “tune-in” to your emotions – they can
give you valid information about your responses
to stressful situations.
 Recognize the importance of emotions even in
“technical” fields.

53.  Reading one’s own emotions and recognizing their impact:
using “gut-sense” to guide decisions.
 People with this competence
 Know which emotions they are feeling & why ?
 Realize the links between their feelings & what they
think, do & say
 Recognize how their feelings affect their performance
 Have a guiding awareness of their values & goals
Emotional Awareness-

54.  The drive to establish ourselves and make our mark in the world is most
urgent in our twenties and thirties, and into our forties.
 But by our mid-forties and early fifties people typically re-evaluate
their goals, because they often come to the radical realization that
life is limited.
 With this acknowledgement comes a reconsideration of what really
matters.
 As the saying goes: “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will
get you there.”
 The less aware we are of what makes us passionate, the more lost
we will be.
 And this drifting can even affect our health;
 People who feel their skills are not being used well on the job, or who
feel their work is repetitive and boring, have a higher risk of heart
disease than those who feel that their best skills are expressed in
their work.
Managing your career

55. Knowing one’s Inner resources, abilities & limits.
Accurate Self-Assessment

56.  A candid sense of our personal strengths &
limits, a clear vision of where we need to
improve & the ability to learn from experience
 People with the ability to Self- assess are :
 Aware of their strengths & weaknesses
 Reflective, learning from experience
 Open to candid feedback, new perspectives,
continuous learning & self –development
 Able to show a sense of humour & perspective about
themselves
Accurate Self-Assessment

57.  A Strong sense of one’s Self-worth & capabilities
 People with this competence
 Present themselves with self-assurance, have “
Presence”
 Can voice views that are unpopular & go out on a
limb for what is right
 Are decisive, able to make sound decisions
despite uncertainties & pressures
Self-Confidence

58. Self Control/ Regulation
(Relate to Ourselves)
Handling our emotions so that they facilitate rather than interfere with the task
at hand; being conscientious & delaying gratification to pursue goals;
recovering well from emotional distress
 Emotional Self Control
 Adaptability
 Innovation

59. Self Regulation/Control
 Means managing impulse as well as distressing feelings
 It depends on the working of the emotional centres in
tandem with the brain’s executive centres in the prefrontal
areas.
 These two primal skills- handling impulse & dealing with
upsets – are at the core of five emotional competencies
 Self –Control- Managing disruptive emotions & impulses.
 Trustworthiness- Displaying honesty & integrity
 Conscientiousness- Dependability & responsibility in
fulfilling obligations
 Adaptability- Flexibility in handing change & challenges
 Innovation –being open to novel ideas , approaches &
new information

60. Self Regulation/Control
Keeping disruptive emotions & impulses in check
 People with this competence
 Manage their impulsive feelings & distressing
emotions well
 Stay composed, positive, and unflappable even in
trying moments
 Think clearly & stay focused under pressure

61. The Managed Heart
 Emotional self-regulation includes not just damping down distress
or stifling impulse.
 It can also mean intentionally eliciting an emotion, even an
unpleasant one.
 Some bill collectors, some say, prime themselves for calls on
people by getting themselves worked up into an irritable, ill-
tempered state.
 Physicians who have to give bad news to patients or their families
put themselves into a suitably somber, dour mood, as do morticians
meeting with bereaved families.
 But best of all, working up changes in emotional states is
satisfactory if the need for such a change is relative to work we love
to do.
 For a nurse who sees herself as a caring, compassionate person,
taking a few moments to console a patient in distress represents
not a burden but what makes her job more meaningful.

62. Flow
 Flow blossoms when our skills are fully engaged
 The challenges absorbs us so much we lose
ourselves in our work, becoming so totally
concentrated we may feel “out of time”
 In this state, we seem to handle everything
effortlessly, nimbly adapting to shifting demands
 Flow itself is pleasure and the ultimate motivator

63. Trustworthiness
Maintaining Integrity & taking responsibility for Personal
Performance
People with this competence
 Act Ethically & are above reproach
 Build trust through their reliability & authenticity
 Admit their own mistakes & confront unethical actions in
others
 Take tough, principled stands even if they are unpopular

64. Conscientiousness
 Meet commitments & keep promises
 Hold themselves accountable for meeting their
objectives
 Are organized & careful in their work

65. Innovation
People with this competence
 Seek out fresh ideas from a wide variety of
sources.
 Entertain original solutions to problems
 Generate new ideas
 Take fresh perspectives & risks in their thinking
Being open to novel ideas & approaches , and being flexible
in responding to change

66. People with this competence
 Smoothly handle multiple demands, shifting
priorities & rapid change .
 Adapt their responses & tactics to fit fluid
circumstances
 Are flexible in how they see the events
Adaptability

67. Motivation
(Relate to Ourselves)
Using our deepest preferences to move & guide us toward our goals, to help
us take initiative & strive to improve, and to preserve in the face of setbacks &
frustrations
 Achievement drive
 Commitment
 Initiative
 Optimism
 Happiness

68. Loving what pays off
 People in flow often make the difficult look easy, an external
appearance that mirrors what is happening in their brain.
 Flow poses a neural paradox:
 We can be engaged in an exceptionally demanding task
 Yet our brain is operating with a minimal level of activity or
expenditure of energy.
 The reason seems to be that
 We are bored and apathetic, or frenzied with anxiety, our brain
activity is diffused;
 The brain itself is at a high level of activation, albeit poorly
focused, with brain cells firing in far-flung and irrelevant ways.
 But during flow, the brain appears efficient and precise in its pattern of
firing.
 The result is an overall lowering of cortical arousal – even though the
person may be engaged in an extremely challenging task.

69. Achievement drive
Striving to improve or meet & exceed the standard of
excellence
People with this competence
Are results oriented, with a high drive to meet their
objectives and standards
Set challenging goals and take calculated risks
Pursue information to reduce uncertainty and find ways to do
better
Learn how to improve their performance

70. Embracing the organization’s or group’s vision & goals
People with this competence
Readily make sacrifices to meet a larger organizations goals
Find a sense of purpose in the larger mission
Use the group’s core values in making decisions & clarifying
choices
Actively seek out opportunities to fulfil the group’s mission
Commitment

71. Initiative & Optimism
Displaying Proactivity & Persistence
Twin competencies that mobilize people to seize
opportunities & allow them to take setbacks & obstacles in
stride.
People with this competence
Are ready to seize opportunities
Pursue goals beyond what’s required or expected of them
Cut through red tape & bend the rules when necessary to get
the job done.
Mobilize others through unusual , enterprising efforts

72.  Persist in seeking goals despite obstacles &
setbacks
 See the setbacks as due to manageable
circumstances rather than a personal flaw
 The ability to look at the brighter side of life and to
maintain a positive attitude even in the face of
adversity.
 Optimism assumes a measure of hope in one's
approach to life
Optimism

73.  The ability to feel satisfied with
your life, to enjoy yourself &
others & to have fun.
 Happiness combines self-
satisfaction, general
contentment & the ability to
enjoy life.
 Happiness is associated with a
general feeling of cheerfulness
& enthusiasm. It is a by-product
and/or barometric indicator of
your overall degree of
emotional intelligence and
emotional functioning
Happiness

74. Social Competence
( Relate to others)
 Empathy
 Understanding others
 Developing others
 Leveraging diversity
 Political awareness
 Service Orientation

75. Understanding others
Sensing others’ Feelings & Perspectives, & taking
an active interest in their concerns
 People with this competence:
 Are attentive to emotional cues and listen well
 Show sensitivity and understand others’ perspectives
 Help out based on understanding other people’s
needs and feelings

76. The ability to understand what others might be
feeling and thinking. It is the ability to view the
world through another person's eyes.
Empathy

77. Empathy begins inside
 As Freud observed, “Mortals can keep no secret. If their lips are silent, they
gossip with their fingertips; betrayal forces its way through every pore.”
 Sensing what others feel without their saying so captures the essence of
empathy.
 Others rarely tell us in words what they feel; instead they tell us in their
tone of voice, facial expression, or other nonverbal ways.
 The ability to sense these subtle communications builds on more basic
competencies, particularly self-awareness & self-control.
 Without the ability to sense our own feelings – or to keep them
 from swamping us – we will be hopelessly out of touch with the moods of
others.
 Empathy is our social radar. Lacking such sensitivity, people are “off.”
Being emotionally tone deaf leads to social awkwardness, whether from
misconstruing feelings or through a mechanical, out-of-tune bluntness or
indifference that destroys rapport.
 One form this lack of empathy can take is responding to other people as
stereotypes rather than as the unique individuals that they are

78. Can you say more about that ?
Really ? That’s interesting. Can you be more specific ?
I wasn’t aware of that. Tell me more
I am curious about that.. Let us discuss this in more
depth
Let me see if I understand you correctly… here is what I
heard you say …
How do you feel about that ? What are the some of your
concerns ?
Empathy- Questions

79.  This is “active” listening.
 A mark of having truly heard
someone else is to respond
appropriately, even if that means
making some change in what
you do
The Art of Listening
 Listening well and deeply
 Means going beyond what
is said by asking questions,
 Restating in one’s own
words what you hear to be
sure you understand.

80. The Politics of empathy
There is a politics of empathy:
Those with little power are typically expected to sense the
feelings of those who hold power,
Those in power feel less obligation to be sensitive in
return.
In other words, the studied lack of empathy is a way power-
holders can tacitly assert their authority.
But this may hold less true today since more organizations
are becoming more team-oriented and less stiffly
hierarchical.
The demands of modern leadership now include competence
at empathy.
The authoritarian style of the past just doesn’t work as
well as it once did.

81. Developing others
 People with this
competence:
 Acknowledge and reward
people’s strengths and
accomplishments
 Offer useful feedback and
identify people’s needs for
future growth
 Mentor, give timely coaching,
and offer assignments that
challenge and foster a person’s
skills
Sensing others’ Development needs & Bolstering Their abilities

82. Service orientation
Anticipating, Recognizing & meeting Customer’s needs
 People with this competence:
 Understand customers’ needs & match them to services
or products
 Seek ways to increase customers’ satisfaction & loyalty
 Gladly offer appropriate assistance
 Grasp a customers’ perspective, acting as a trusted
advisor

83. Leveraging Diversity
Cultivating Opportunities through different kinds of people
 People with this competence:
 Respect & relate well to people from varied
backgrounds
 Understand diverse worldwide and are sensitive to
group differences
 See diversity as opportunity, creating an environment
where diverse people can thrive
 Challenge bias & intolerance

84. Political Awareness
 Accurately read key power relationships
 Detect crucial social networks
 Understand the forces that shape views & actions
of clients , customers or competitors
 Accurately read organizational & external realities
Reading Social & Political currents

85. Social Skills
( Relate to others)
 Communication
 Influence
 Conflict Mgt.
 Change Catalyst
 Leadership
 Problem solving
 Building Relationship
 Collaboration & co-operation
 Team Capabilities

86. Communication
 People with this competence:
 Are effective in give-and-take, registering emotional cues
in attuning their message
 Deal with difficult issues straight forwardly
 Listen well, seek mutual understanding, and welcome
sharing of information fully
 Foster open communication & stay receptive to bad
news as well as good
Listening openly & sending convincing messages

87.  People with this competence:
 Are skilled at winning people over
 Fine-tune presentations to appeal to the listener
 Use complex strategies like indirect influence to build
consensus & support
 Orchestrate dramatic events to effectively make a point.
Wielding effective tactics for persuasion
Influence

88. Empathy is crucial for wielding influence.
It is difficult to have a positive impact on others
without first sensing how they feel and
understanding their position.
People who are poor at reading emotional cues and
inept at social interactions are very poor at
influence.
The first step in influence is building rapport
First Build Rapport

89.  Influencing another person’s emotional state for better or
worse is perfectly natural; we do it constantly, “catching”
emotions from one another like some kind of social virus.
 This emotional exchange constitutes an invisible
interpersonal economy, part of every human interaction, but
it is usually too subtle to notice.
 The emotional economy is the sum total of the exchanges of
feeling among us. In subtle (or not so subtle) ways, we all
make each other feel a bit better (or a lot worse) as part of
any contact we have
 Every encounter can be weighted along a scale from
emotionally toxic to nourishing.
 While its operation is largely invisible, this economy can
have immense benefits for a business or for the tone of
organizational life.
The Art of Influence

90. The Art of Influence
 In the world of work, no matter the business at hand,
emotional elements play a crucial role.
 Emotional competence requires being able to pilot
through the emotional undercurrents always at play
rather than being pulled under by them.
 The most effective people in organizations naturally
use their emotional radar to sense how others are
reacting, and they fine-tune their own response to
push the interaction in the best direction.

91. Emotions are Contagious
 We influence each other’s moods.
 Influencing another person’s emotional state for better or for
worse is perfectly natural;
 We do it constantly, “catching” emotions from one another
like some kind of social virus.
 This emotional exchange constitutes an invisible
interpersonal economy, part of every human interaction, but
it is usually too subtle to notice.
 Emotions as a signalling system needs no words – a fact
evolutionary theorists see as one reason
 Emotions may have played such a crucial role in the
development of the human brain long before words became
a symbolic tool for humans.

92. Conflict Management
Negotiating & resolving disagreements
 People with this competence:
 Handle difficult people & tense situations with
diplomacy & tact
 Spot potential conflict, bring disagreements into
the open, and help de-escalate
 Encourage debate and open discussion
 Orchestrate win-win solutions

93. Resolving conflict- Creatively
Here are some classic moves for cooling down conflicts
First calm down, tune in to your feelings & express
them
Show a willingness to work things out by talking
over the issue rather than escalating it with more
aggression
State your point of view in neutral language rather
than in an argumentative tone.
Try to find equitable ways to resolve the dispute,
working together to find a resolution both sides can
embrace.

94. The Change catalyst
 Today, Organizations are reshuffling, divesting, merging,
acquiring, flattering hierarchies, going global.
 The acceleration of change through the 1900s has made the
ability to lead it a newly ascendant competence.
 In addition to high levels of self-confidence at such pace,
effective change leaders have high levels of
 Influence
 Commitment
 Motivation
 Optimism
 Instinct for organizational policies to see organizations
through such change

95. The Change catalyst
Initiating, promoting & Managing Change
 People with this competence:
 Recognize the need for change & remove barriers
 Challenge the status quo to acknowledge the need for
change
 Champion the change & enlist others in its pursuit
 Model the change expected of others

96. Leadership
Inspiring & Guiding individuals & groups
 People with this competence:
 Articulate & arouse enthusiasm for a shared
vision & mission
 Step forward to lead as needed, regardless of
position
 Guide the performance of others while holding
them accountable.
 Lead by example.

97. When to be tough
 To be sure, leadership demands a certain toughness – at
times.
 The art of leadership entails knowing when to be assertive –
for example,
 Confronting someone directly about their performance
lapses – and
 When to be collegial and use less direct ways to guide or
influence.
 Leadership demands tough decision making.
 Someone has to tell people what to do and hold them for their
obligations.
 A common failing of leaders, from supervisors to top
executives, is the failure to be emphatically assertive when
necessary.

98. When to be tough
One obstacle to such assertiveness is passivity, as can happen
when someone is more concerned about being liked that with
getting the job done right.
People who are extremely uncomfortable with confrontation or
anger are also often reluctant to take an assertive stance even
when it is called for.

99. The ability to identify
and define problems as
well as to generate and
implement potentially
effective solutions.
Problem Solving

100. Survival of the social
 Humans are the primordial team players:
 Our uniquely complex social relationships have been a crucial
survival advantage.
 Our extraordinary sophisticated talent for cooperation
culminates in the modern organization.
 The view of the crucial role of cooperation in evolution is part of a
radical rethinking of just what the famous phase “survival of the
fittest” means.
 One modern legacy of this past is the radar for friendliness and
cooperation most of us have.
 People gravitate to those who show signs of good qualities.
 We also have a strong warning device or system that alerts us to
someone who may be selfish or untrustworthy.

101. The Art collaboration
John Seely Brown, chief scientist at Xerox Corporation and a
cognitive theorist himself,
Points out that the crucial nature of social coordination is
perhaps nowhere more evident than in today’s scientific
enterprises, where cutting-edge knowledge grows through
orchestrated, collaborative efforts.
The art of “making an impact through people,” Brown says, “is
the ability to pull people together, to attract colleagues to the
work, to create the critical mass for research.
Then, once you’ve done that, there’s the next question: How do
you engage the rest of the corporation?
And then, how do you get the message out and convert the rest
of the world? To communicate is not just a matter of pushing
information at another person.
It’s creating an experience, to engage their gut – and that’s an
emotional skill.”

102. The Group IQ
 What makes a team perform better than the best person on
it? The question is key.
 Outstanding team performance raises the “group IQ” – the
sum total of the best talents of each member on a team,
contributed to their fullest.
 When teams operate at their best, the results can be more
than simply additive – they can be multiplicative, with the best
talents of one person catalysing the best of another and
another, to produce results far beyond what any one person
might have done.
 The explanation of this aspect of team performance lies in the
member’s relationships – in the chemistry between members.

103.  People with this competence:
 Cultivate & maintain extensive informal networks
 Seek out relationships that are mutually
beneficial.
 Build rapport & keep others in the loop
 Make & maintain personal friendships among
work associates
Nurturing Instrumental Relationship
Building Bonds

104. Bring in the Relationship Managers
 Marks & Spencer, the huge British retail chain, gives an unusual
gift to its regular suppliers: a special key card that lets them into
the chain’s head offices anytime.
 Although they still have to make appointments, the key card
makes them feel like members of the Marks & Spencer family.
 This is exactly the point. The key card is part of an intentional
effort of Marks & Spencer to nurture a relationship of trust and
cooperation with its suppliers.
 That effort also includes trips with suppliers to trade shows and to
other countries to visit sources of raw materials.
 The goal: to strengthen mutual understanding, as well as to spot
new possibilities for products they can jointly develop.

105.  People with this competence:
 Balance a focus on task with attention to
relationships
 Collaborate, sharing plans, information and
resources
 Promote a friendly, cooperative climate
 Spot & nurture opportunities for collaborations
Working with others towards shared goals
Collaboration & Cooperation

106.  People with this competence:
 Model team qualities like respect, helpfulness &
cooperation.
 Draw all members into active & enthusiastic
participation.
 Build team identify, esprit de corps &
commitment.
 Protect the group & its reputation ; share credit
Creating Group Synergy in pursuing collective goals
Team Capabilities

107. The Emotionally Intelligent organization
 An emotionally intelligent organization needs to come to
terms with any disparities between the values it proclaims
and those it lives.
 Clarity about an organization’s values, spirit and mission
leads to a decisive self-confidence in corporate decision-
making.
 An organizational mission statement serves an emotional
function: articulating the shared sense of goodness that
allows us to feel what we do together is worthwhile.
 Working for a company that measures its success in the
most meaningful ways — not just the bottom line — is itself a
morale and energy raiser

108. Maximizing the Organization’s Intelligence
An organization’s collective level of emotional
intelligence determines the degree to which that
organization’s intellectual capital is realized – and so
its overall performance.
The art of maximizing intellectual capital lies in
orchestrating the interactions of the people whose
minds hold that knowledge and expertise.
When it comes to technical skills and core
competencies that make a company competitive, the
ability to outperform others depend on the
relationships of the people involved.

109. The Heart of Performance
 A balance between the human and financial sides of
the company’s agenda.
 Organizational commitment to a basic strategy.
 Initiative to stimulate improvements in performance.
 Open communication & trust-building with all
stakeholders.
 Building relationships inside & outside that offer
competitive advantage.
 Collaboration, support and sharing resources.
 Innovation, risk taking and learning together.
 A passion for competition & continual improvement

110. The New Model of Learning
 Assess the job. Training should focus on the competencies
needed most for excellence in a given job or role.
 Assess the individual. The individual’s profile of strengths
and limitations should be assessed to identify what needs
improving.
 Deliver assessments with care. Feedback on a person’s
strengths and weaknesses carries an emotional charge.
 Gauge readiness. People are at differing levels of readiness.
 Motivate. People learn to the degree they are motivated and
making the competence a personal goal for change.
 Make change self-directed. When people direct their learning
program, tailoring it to their needs, circumstances and
motivation, learning is more effective.
 Focus on clear, manageable goals. People need clarity on
what the competence is and the steps

111. The New Model of Learning
 Prevent relapse. Habits change slowly, and relapses and slips need not
signal defeat.
 Give performance feedback. Ongoing feedback encourages and helps
direct change.
 Encourage practice. Lasting change requires sustained practice both on
and off the job.
 Arrange support. Like-minded people who are also trying to make similar
changes can offer crucial ongoing support.
 Provide models. High-status, highly effective people who embody the
competence can be models who inspire change.
 Encourage. Change will be greater if the organization’s environment
supports the change, values the competence and offers a safe atmosphere
for experimentation.
 Reinforce change. People need recognition — to feel their change efforts
matter.
 Evaluate. Establish ways to evaluate the development effort to see if it has
lasting effects

112. Would you like a summary?

113. ‘To understand & measure the abilities and traits related to
recognizing & regulating emotions in ourselves & in others’

114. Food for thought.

115. Is EI a new science or something that’s
always been inherent in psychological
studies and methods?

116. The
most
gifted
leaders
are
self-aware

117. and empathetic.

118. They understand &
control their emotions

119. whilst intuitively grasping how others feel.

120. But what’s
in it for
you?

121. Loyal and trusting
relationships;

122. increased energy & effectiveness under pressure;

123. and the ability to create a brighter future.

124. It’s not too late

125. EI can be learnt at any age

126. & generally increases as we get older.

128. Do you
think globalization has
affected EI?

129. Has EI spread within Western society simply
because societal and cultural norms have changed?

131. Some think EI is too vague,

132. Some think EI is difficult to measure,

133. and some think
EI is dangerous
when forced
upon employees.

135. The Bottom Line
 The EI can be learned .
 Individually, we can add these skills to our tool kit for survival at a time when
job stability seems like a quaint oxymoron.
 For businesses of all kinds, the fact that emotional competencies can be
assessed and improved suggests another area in which performance- and so
competitiveness- can be upgraded.
 What’s needed amounts to an EI tune-up for the corporation

136. Emotional Learning Process
 Step A Self-Assessment
 Explore- Attitudes & Behaviors
 Step B Self-Awareness
 Identify your current skill level
 Step C Self-Knowledge
 Understand the skill using your own description
 Step D Self-Development
 Learn- Use self directed coaching, mentoring to
learn the skill
 Step E Self-Improvement
 Apply & Model- Practice the skill

137.  As your career advances, interpersonal skills matter more than cognitive
skills.
 Luckily, unlike cognitive skills, you can improve your “Emotional Intelligence”.
 To improve your “ Empathy”, the core attribute of emotional skill, learn to
listen.
 Emotional awareness is honed during downtime, and yet you must be able to
draw upon it in a pinch, Take time to develop it.
 Understanding your own feelings improves your ability to understand others’
feelings. It sharpens your “ radar”.
 Be aware that in some cases too much empathy is inappropriate.
 “Feedback” is essential when you are trying to change ingrained habits. Keep
track of your progress as you improve your emotional skills .
 Moods are catching, so try to spread a good one. Understand what makes
you feel good or bad.
 Many characteristics that help individuals succeed are also important for
organizations, such as reliability, openness & emotional sensitivity.
 “Emotionally Intelligent” organizations value the bottom line contribution of
employees who practice “ Soft people skills”
Take- Away

138. Mail your comments to ramaddster@gmail.com