2. Sometimes when we feel that
the speaker is irrational and
illogical in his views, We cannot
tolerate under certain
circumstances. Here are some
guidelines which enable us to
develop an attitude of tolerance
and understanding
INTRODUCTION
4. if you are an active listener your verbal
and non-verbal behavior will suggest to
the speaker that he is being properly
heard and understood. It should not
indicate what you think about the
person. The purpose is to communicate,
overlooking the qualities of the
ideas,attitudes,and values of the speaker.
5. Your behavior must be such that it
conveys the impression that you
accept the person without making
any judgment of right or wrong,
good or bad, suitable or unsuitable.
6. if you wish to clarify a point, you can
simply paraphrase what the speaker has
said and enquire from the speaker
whether you have heard it accurately.
Use phrases like the following ones to
ensure that you have paraphrased the
information.
“So you mean to say………”
“Do you mean that…..”
7. The listeners aim here is to reflect
eagerness and zest by nodding or through
verbal means thereby giving positive
feedback. You can use phrases like:
“So this might lead to a result which…”
“So you are suggesting that we
might….”
8. If you use this this technique to change
the direction of the speaker’s thinking by
showing your cleverness or suggesting an
idea which the speaker might not have yet
thought before, it creates distrust between
the two parties.
9. However, if you use the technique
with the intention of understanding
more, you can certainly help the
speaker by boosting his confidence
making him believe that the listener
has his content well.
10. Sometimes you try to empathize or identify
yourself with the speaker, to experience what
he or she feels. You can express such sentiments
by using phrase such as:
“if I were in your place, I would not have
handled the situation so well”
“if that had happened to me, I'd have been very
upset.’
11. In a situation where you haven’t heard or
understood enough yet to response with
empathy and understanding, promote the
speaker to give you more information phrases
such as the following can be used:
“can you through more light on…..”
“it would be great if you can expand more on
this….”
12. While it is useful to ask questions, be cautions
about asking too many. This may lead the
speaker to suspect that rather than seeking
information you are interrogating or
challenging them.
13. You can show that you are an active listener by
adopting certain postures and sending
nonverbal signals which communicate your
interest in what the speaker is saying. These
include regular eye contact, body leaning
slightly towards the speaker , head nodes and a
slightly titled head. You can also occasionally
use some receptive utterance as ‘yes’, ‘un-
hum’, to indicate that you are following what
the speaker is saying.