"Studies show adult friendships have a significant impact on our happiness and well-being. In fact, a lack of close friendships may be hazardous to your health. To nurture satisfying friendships, you need to spend some quality time with your friends. But the more professional opportunities come your way, the more time you'll spend away from your real-life friends. So how do we make sure we maintain the connection? This deck introduces the solution: The Kibbutz."

1. @nireyal
Happiness Hack
NirAndFar.com
This One Ritual Made Me
Much Happier

2. Studies show adult friendships
have a significant impact on our
happiness and well-being.

3. In fact, a lack of close friendships
may be hazardous to your health.

4. Socially disconnected people are
less happy, their health declines
earlier in midlife, their brain
functioning declines sooner, and
they live shorter lives than
people who are not lonely.
- Robert Waldinger,
Harvard Study of Adult Development

5. Lest we think having 500 Facebook
friends might offer some protection…

6. It’s not just the number of
friends you have … it’s the
quality of your close
relationships that matters.
- Robert Waldinger,
Harvard Study of Adult Development

7. So what makes for a quality friendship?
FRIEND

8. So what makes for a quality friendship?
easy to
talk to
dependable
enjoyable
Diagram adapted from the work of William Rawlins.
FRIEND

9. Finding someone
to talk to, depend
on, and enjoy
comes naturally
when we’re young.

10. In college, we build strong bonds
when nearly everyone around us is
also searching for connection.

11. But as we grow into adulthood, we go our
separate ways, pursue careers and start
lives miles apart from our best friends.

12. Once children
enter the picture,
exhilarating
nights on the
town become
exhausted nights
on the couch.

13. The Problem:
Friendships
Starve to Death

14. When we’re not careful, the
people we care about often
become residual benefactors.

15. We leave them for last, giving
them whatever bits of time are
left over after we’ve attended
to everything else.

16. The Solution:
The Kibbutz

17. Kibbutz means
“gathering” in
Hebrew.
The Solution:
The Kibbutz

18. For our kibbutz,
four couples meet
every two weeks
to talk about
one question.

19. How to Commit to
The Kibbutz

20. Book the time
Reserve time on your
calendar for the
foreseeable future so
there’s no scheduling
headaches.

21. Go deep
Talking about a
meaningful topic
strengthens your bonds.
Get past the shallow
small talk - no weather,
sports, or politics.

22. Don’t let kids
derail you
Children benefit from
seeing you model a
healthy adult friendship.
Your kids can listen or
participate but don't let
them interrupt.

23. Make time to invest in your most
important relationships and get the
psychological nourishment you need.

24. To friendship, and
your health.

25. These slides are based on
an essay by Nir Eyal.
READ ARTICLE
Want MORE?

26. Want MORE?
These slides are based on
an essay by Nir Eyal.
Click to read the
original article.
READ ARTICLE

27. Subscribe to Nir’s
blog to get more.

28. Subscribe to Nir’s
blog to get more.
Click to SUBSCRIBE!