This is a reading assignment summary for students in a freshman-level intercultural conflict resolution class. JAY

1. DYSFUNCTIONAL VS.
FUNCTIONAL CONFLICT
COMMUNICATION
Cahn & Abigail

2. Think About It –
 How do you feel about confronting others?
 Did you feel positive or negative about it?
 Did that affect the way you handled your past
conflicts?
 Do you think you could be more successful if
you did not have a negative feeling about
conflict?

3. Effective Conflict Management
 Acting and Reacting in ways that convert
potentially destructive conflicts into productive
ones.
 When you discover a conflict, take action to
deal with it:
 Open Confrontation methods, or
 Less-Direct “tacit” methods
 For most people, conflict is a negative and
destructive thing they want to avoid.
 Other people see conflict as a productive way
to make positive improvements.

4. An Example of Changed
Standpoint
 The most valuable lesson I have
learned is that conflict is not
necessarily bad. I no longer see
conflicts as a danger to my
relationships. My acceptance of
conflicts as the result of relationships
has helped minimize the discomfort I
feel in conflict situations.

5. Dissatisfaction vs. Satisfaction
 Dysfunctional when it leaves the participants
dissatisfied with the process/results.
 Function when it leaves the participants
satisfied with the process/results.
 Some conflict resolutions end with feelings of
dissatisfaction in the short-term that are
replaced, in the long-term, with total
satisfaction.

6. Enlarge Your View
 It pays to enlarge your view of a conflict to
include:
 Outcomes/Results, and also…
 Your partner’s actual behavior within the conflict
itself as important measures of successful conflict
management.

7. Conflict is Destructive When
 The relationship is harmed in some way.
 When the partners do not manage conflict in a
way that is mutually-satisfying.
 When conflict hostilities become the normal
way the partners deal with each other.
 When the conflict escalates to the point where
it becomes separated from the original cause,
and takes on a “life of its own.”

8. Destructive Conflict Grows
When
 Partners fail to consider all reasonable options.
 Issues grow in number
 More people are pulled into the conflict
 It starts “costing” people significantly more
 The intensity of feelings escalates out of control
 One side wants to physically hurt the other.
 All involved start blaming everything on the others
 Partners try to “get even”
 Partners heavily rely on overt power
 Partners descend to using manipulation

9. Productive Conflict Is Possible
When
 Conflict is kept to the issue
 When only decision makers closest to the issue
are involved
 Costs to participants is held to minimums
 The intensity of negative feelings is minimized.
 Both participants help the other to “let go” of past
feelings.
 There are no escalations
 There is no interpersonal violence
 No use of overt power or manipulation
 Both sides believe in a win/win solution

10. Positive/Functional Outcomes
 What people are trying to achieve as they
engage in conflict management
 Some just want the conflict to go away.
 Some just want an apology
 Some just want the other person to listen,
show concern, or pay attention to their wants,
needs, interests.
 Some want a personal feeling of fairness,
acceptance as a person, and simple justice
when wronged.

11. Everyone Has Preferred
Behavior
 Routines and Rituals are useful because repetitive
tasks are done without really thinking about them.
 Sometimes, falling into a routine or comfortable
behavior throws gasoline on the fire.
 If your routine is to withdraw from conflicts, the
conflict will get worse.
 If you fail to fight for your issue today, your hands
may well be tied in the future.
 You may win this conflict and never have a
positive relationship with the other person.
Win/Lose or Lose-to-Win.

12. When In Interpersonal
Conflict…
 Choose communication patterns that:
 Reduce stress
 Produce greater understanding of perspectives
 Create more satisfying outcomes
 Facilitates more frequent positive resolutions in
the future