Humans communicate on many levels: spoken language, tone, body language, style and personality. The fact that we have complex cultural identities and a host of differing past experiences increases the probability of cross-cultural miscommunications. This workshop presents major cross-cultural communication theories, ways that cultural values, power, privilege and differences affect the way we communicate, tools for questioning assumptions, and ways to improve cross-cultural communications skills.
Prelims of Kant get Marx 2.0: a general politics quiz
John Burroughs School 2015 Day One
1. John Burroughs School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Effective Communication:
Cross Cultural Communication, Microaggressions, and
Navigating Ouch Moments
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
3. Agenda
Cultural Competency
Communication Across Culture
Communication Across Power
Microaggressions
Navigating Ouch Moments
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
4. Getting the Most Out of Today
Apply Growth Mindset
Ask Questions
Participate Fully
Use Technology to Help You Engage
Visit Website After
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5. Safety versus Comfort
Safety: I feel that, in this space, I can ask questions without
fear of judgment. I can voice my perspective and know that
I will be validated for the fact that that is my truth. Others
may challenge my ideas, but that challenge is in the spirit of
greater shared understanding and growth.
Comfort: I feel that, in this space, my reality will be agreed
with, validated, and unchallenged. I don’t have to explain
myself to be understood, and I don’t have to justify my
perspective, as everyone shares it.
True dialogue happens in an environment where everyone is
safe but not always comfortable...
SO THAT THEY CAN LEARN AND GROW.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
6. Safe Spaces 2.0 – Brave Spaces
Controversy with Civility
Own your own intent and impact
Challenge by choice – with reflection
Respect in all its multiplicity
No personal attacks, but pointed
challenges are okay
Be mindful of the true source of your
emotions
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8. Culture [consists] primarily of the
symbolic, ideational, and intangible
aspects of human societies… It is the
values, symbols, interpretations, and
perspectives that distinguish one
people from another.
James A. Banks
What is Culture?
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9. Dimensions of Identity and Culture
This model of identifiers and culture was created by Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman for NAIS Summer Diversity Institute,
adapted from Loden and Rosener’s Workforce America! (1991) and from Diverse Teams at Work, Gardenswartz & Rowe (SHRM 2003).
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
10. Cultural Competency
Cultural competence is a set of
congruent behaviors, attitudes and
policies that come together in a
system, institution or individual and
enable that system, institution or
individual to work effectively in cross-
cultural situations.
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Terry Cross
11. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
The Jones Model of Cultural Competence
Cultural Self-
Awareness
Cultural
Intelligence
Cross-Cultural
Effectiveness
Skills
Countering
Oppression
through
Inclusion
12. Cultural Competency: Key Elements
Value Orientation
Diversity as Value Added
Respect
Relationships
Equity
Thought Orientation
Knowledge
Awareness
Systems Thinking
Action Orientation
Consciousness Building
Capacity Building
Assessment
Adaptation
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13. What is it?
How is it Different from Intercultural
Communication?
CCC Theories
– Face-Negotiation Theory
– Conversational Constraints Theory
– Expectancy Violation Theory
– Anxiety/Uncertainty Management Theory
– Communication Accommodation Theory
Cross Cultural Communication
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14. Individual - Collectivistic
Low Context - High Context
Task - Relationship
Low Uncertainty - High Uncertainty
Vertical - Horizontal
Dimensions of Variability
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15. Personality Orientation
Individual Values
- Allocentric
- Idiocentric
Self Construal
- Independent
- Interdependent
Individual Socialization
Cultural Norms and Rules
Factors that Influence
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16. Discussion: My Style
In hearing about
communication
differences, what would
you describe as your
cultural communication
style? Have you noticed
stark differences
compared to others?
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17. Cultural Values
Norms, and Rules
Values
Value Priorities
Norms of Behavior
Non-Verbal
Communication
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18. CulturalValueDifferences
RELATIONAL
Individualism
self-reliance, independence
(selfish)
Collectivism
group interdependence
(mindless follower)
Informality
directness, give and take discussion
(rude and abrupt)
Formality
indirectness, protect "face"
(stiff and impersonal)
Competition
individual achievement
(egotistical, show-off)
Cooperation
group achievement
(avoiding doing work or taking responsibility)
AUTHORITY
Egalitarianism
fairness, belief in equal opportunity
(being picky, on a soapbox)
Hierarchy
privilege of status or rank
(power hungry or avoiding accountability)
TEMPORAL
Use of Time
"Time is money"
(doesn’t get the important things in life)
Passage of Time
"Time is for life"
(lazy and irresponsible)
Change/Future
Adaptability ensures survival
(muckraker, stirs up trouble)
Tradition/Past
Stability ensures survival
(old-school, afraid of change)
ACTIVITY
Action orientation
"Make things happen"
(rushes without thinking)
"Being" orientation
"Let things happen"
(indecisive and slow)
Practicality
Efficiency is always best
(impersonal and unscrupulous)
Idealism
Always maintain principles
(naïve and impractical)
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19. Exercise: Non-Verbal Violations
1: Please pick a partner and stand.
2: You and your partner will receive
different instructions for nonverbal
behaviors. Do not share the
information.
3: Begin to converse about your interests
and hobbies.
4: INCREMENTALLY dramatize the
nonverbal behavior.
5: Make note of thoughts or feelings you
experience.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
20. Non-Verbal Violations: Partner 1
You signal respect by standing
physically close to your partner. Stand
Approximately 6 inches away from
your partner. You enjoy asking a lot
of questions to signal conversational
excitement and involvement. You also
like to touch your partner's arm from
time-to-time to signal approval for a
good idea.
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21. Non-Verbal Violations: Partner 2
You signal respect by standing at
least an arm's length away from your
partner. You constantly check your
watch or the clock for fear of running
out of time in the conversation. You
also like to make loud sounds (ahs,
oohs, uh-huhs, sighs, etc.) to signal
your approval and great contentment
of the conversation.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
22. Debrief: Nonverbal Violations
Did the INTENT of your described
behaviors allow you to display
them more enthusiastically?
What was the IMPACT of the
behaviors of your partner?
Did knowing that “odd” behaviors
may be part of the exercise
help you accept your partner’s
behavior?
In working with people from
various communities, what do
you take away from this
exercise?
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24. Identifiers, Power,
and Communication
Internalized Oppression/Dominance
Stereotype Threat
Accumulated Impact/
Microaggressions
Code/Mode Switching
Fish Seeing the Water
“Normal” versus “Good”
“Intent” versus “Impact”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
25. Discussion: Conflict Re-understood
Think about a conflict or interaction which
you now know to be at heart an identity
and power difference. Using some of the
terminology introduced, discuss with a
partner or group of three what was going
on to cause the conflict.
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28. So What? Now What?
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29. Effective Communication Models
Common Threads
Brenda J. Allen, Difference Matters: Communicating Social Ide
SUPPORTIVE DEFENSIVE
Description Evaluation
Problem-Orientation Control
Spontaneity Strategy
Empathy Neutrality
Equality Superiority
Provisionalism Certainty
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30. Assumptions and Interpretations
• Mental Models
• Ladder of Inference
Belief
Conclusions
Selective Data
Observable Data
• Tools of Action
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31. 1. What did you see/hear (raw data)?
2. What are your personal filters (cultural
values, norms, and identifiers)?
3. What was your interpretation of what you
saw/heard (inference)?
4. How did you feel as a result?
5. What do you want?
Checking Assumptions and
Interpretations: Steps to Analyze
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32. Developmental Model of Intercultural
Sensitivity (DMIS) Schematic
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33. 1. How do you see materials
from this morning applying
to your roles?
2. What questions do you still
have?
3. What are your personal action
steps?
Discussion:
How Will I Apply All This?
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34. Microassaults
– Explicit
– Conscious and Deliberate
– Backstage Spaces
Microinsults
– Hidden
– Often Unknown or Unintended
– Frontstage Spaces
Microinvalidation
Zooming In: Microaggressions
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
35. Alien in Own Land
Ascription of Intelligence
Colorblindness
Criminality/Assumption of Criminal Status
Denial of Individual Raciam
Myth of Meritocracy
Pathologizing Cultural Values/Styles
Second-Class Citizen
Environmental
Microaggressions/Macroaggressions
Racial Microaggressions
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36. Caucus Groups
Think about your various identities, and which
ones hold much importance to you.
Which one of your identities do you feel most
moved to advocate for and educate around?
You will be answering the following prompts:
– What we never want people to say, think, or
do towards our group is…
– What we want you to know about our group
is…
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
National Coalition Building Institute, Seattle Chapter, “Building Bridges Workshop,” Adapted by Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
37. Caucus Groups Formation
Groups Identified
Locations Assigned
Caucus Groups
Meeting Time
Caucus Group
Report Outs
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38. To Keep in Mind:
Write down all answers to prompts.
Think about which items you’d like to
share with the larger group.
Everyone in the group is invited to stand
together.
Decide who will share items and how.
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39. Caucus Groups/Locales:
Women (in room)
People of Color (outside building)
Non-Christian (lobby)
Non-Religious (lobby)
Working Class/Working Poor (lobby)
– What we never want people to say, think, or do
towards our group is…
– What we want you to know about our group is…
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
40. Caucus Groups Work Time
Please document the responses to the following
prompts:
– What we never want people to say, think, or
do towards our group is…
– What we want you to know about our group
is…
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
42. Debrief: Caucus Groups
1. What information was new,
informative, moving, etc. to
you?
2. How does this information
change what you will think or
do in the future?
3. What action can you take to
become a better advocate for
yourself?
4. What action can you take to
become a better ally for
others?
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45. Debunking Some Myths
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All or None
Mistakes
Apologies
“Tonsils” Theory
Vulnerability
46. Growing Through the Ouch
Moment
William Taylor’s Reflective Competence Model
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47. Speaking From the Heart
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48. What We’re Thinking and Feeling
When Receiving the Ouch
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Did that really
happen? Do they
realize? I want to
trust, but I’ve had
this happen so
many times before.
I am so stressed,
confused, hurt….
49. What We End Up Saying
When Receiving the Ouch
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
That was so
offensive!
I can’t believe
you did that!
51. Self Advocacy Through the Ouch Moment
Affirm the person or relationship
Describe the behavior without judgment
Explain the emotion/impact and your filters
Assume positive intent
Request or suggest different behavior
*** Key Points: timing, I statements, actions not
adjectives, inside feelings not outside feelings***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
52. Self Advocacy Through the Ouch Moment:
An Example
Can I talk with you about something? I really
appreciate having you as a friend. I have so
much fun with you, and I can tell you anything.
Earlier today, when I got my math test back
and I got 98%, I heard you say, “Well of course
you got a 98% - you’re Asian!” I was pretty
hurt when I heard that. I work hard in all my
classes to get good grades, but so many
people assume it’s because of my race. It’s
sad that I don’t get to own my
accomplishments like everyone else. I’m
pretty sure you didn’t mean for me to feel that
way. Can I ask that you please don’t say
things like that anymore?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
53. Practice Round:
Self Advocacy Through the Ouch Moment
Affirm the person or relationship
Describe the behavior without judgment
Explain the emotion/impact and your filters
Assume positive intent
Request or suggest different behavior
*** Key Points: timing, I statements, actions not
adjectives, inside feelings not outside feelings***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
55. What We’re Thinking and Feeling
When Witnessing the Ouch
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
I can’t believe this
is happening.
That’s SO not
right. Should I
say something?
Am I butting in?
Would it help?
I am so upset!
56. What We End Up Saying
When Witnessing the Ouch
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57. What Others Hear When We Say Nothing
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See? They
agree with me!
I am so right
about this.
No one sees or
understands. I
am alone.
59. NCBI Effective
Interventions Model
Reduce Defensiveness
– Tone
– Body Language
– Respect
Keep the Conversation Going
– Hear Them Out
– Ask Open-Ended Questions
– Set Aside Your Feeling for the Moment
– Dialogue
Build the Relationship
Stop the Behavior
Win an Ally
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
60. Say Something to Somebody
Now or Later (or Say It Now About a Later)
Target, Agent, Fellow Bystanders, Authority Figures
“In the End, we will remember not the words of
our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
61. Intervening in the Ouch Moment: Examples
Ask open ended questions
– “He’s acting like a sissy”
– “How’s he acting? And why is that sissy?”
Find out the experience motivating the comment
– “Why can’t they just speak English around here?”
– “It must be hard not to understand what people are saying around you.”
– “I’m sick of my tuition paying for scholarship students.”
– “Tell me more about that.”
Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going on
(use sparingly)
– “That movie is so gay.”
– “That movie is attracted to other movies? I didn’t know that was possible!”
Join the person and do not make yourself superior
– “She got that award because she’s black and female.”
– “You know, I hear that a lot. I’ve been trying to figure out why we seem to think when a
black woman gets recognized it must be because of ‘diversity’ stuff rather than that she
earned it.”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
62. Practice Round:
Intervening in the Ouch Moment
Ask open ended questions
Find out the experience motivating the comment
Use exaggerated humor to highlight what’s going
on (use sparingly)
Join the person and do not make yourself superior
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63. Listening to the Real Message
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64. What Was Said During the Intervention
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Those words or
actions are
hurtful to me.
Please stop.
65. What We Hear During the Intervention
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You are a
bad, bad
person, and I
hate you!
66. What We Should Hear
During the Intervention
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You are basically a good
and decent person. As
with all of us, you’ve
made a mistake, and you
may not know how that
mistake is impacting
others. I am going to
give you the gift of
information so that your
intentions and impacts
match up.
68. When You’re Told About
the Ouch Moment You Created
Listen with full attention
Don’t try to defend or respond right away
– Take deep breaths
– Acknowledge your feelings
Your mistakes don’t define you
– Be worthy of their trust and gift
Prioritize the Impact over Intent
– Apologize for real
*** Moving through these moments with grace is
called shame resilience. It’s a vital skill***
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
69. When You’re Told About
the Ouch Moment You Created:
Examples
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
“I really appreciate your telling me this.”
“I’m so embarrassed that I did that.”
“I’m so sorry my words and actions made you feel
that way. No matter what I intended, it hurt you.”
“I’m pretty overwhelmed right now, and I don’t
want to respond in a way I’d regret. Do you think
you can help me come up with a better way to
handle that situation after I get into a calmer
place?”
“I wanted to go back to a moment I don’t think I
handled very well… Can we talk?”
70. Discussion Round:
When You Were Told About
the Ouch Moment You Created
Listen with full attention
Don’t try to defend or respond right away
– Take deep breaths
– Acknowledge your feelings
Your mistakes don’t define you
– Be worthy of their trust and gift
Prioritize the Impact over Intent
– Apologize for real
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
71. Final Words of Advice:
Recognize Your Triggers
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72. Find Your Bucket People
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78. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
79. Identity Resources
• Carlos H. Arce, “A Reconsideration of Chicano Culture
and Identity”
• Atkinson, Morten, & Sue, “Racial/Cultural Identity
Development Model (R/CID)”
• Mindy Bingham and Sandy Stryker, “Socioemotional
Development for Girls”
• Vivienne Cass, “Homosexual identity formation: Testing
a theoretical model”
• William Cross, Shades of Black: Diversity in African
American Identity”
• Anthony D’Augelli, “ Identity development and sexual
orientation: Toward a model of lesbian, gay, and
bisexual development”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
80. Identity Resources
• Erik Erikson, “Eight Stages of Man”
• J. E. Helms, Various Publications on Racial and Ethnic
Identity Development
• Jean Kim, “Processes of Asian American Identity
Development”
• James Maricia, “Four Ego and Identity Statuses”
• Suzanne Kobasa Ouellette, “The Three C’s of
Hardiness”
• Jean S. Phinney, “Ethnic Identity in Adolescents and
Adults: Review of the Research”
• Ponterotto & Pederso, Preventing Prejudice
• Maria P. P. Root, Various Works on Multiracial Identity
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
81. Identity Resources
• Patricia Romney, Karlene Ferron, and Jennifer Hill,
“Measuring the Success of Diversity Directors in
Independent Schools”
• Pedro Ruiz, “Latino/a Identity Development Model”
• Chalmer E. Thompson and Robert T. Carter, Racial
Identity Theory
• Alex Wilson, “How We Find Ourselves: Identity
Development and Two Spirit People”
• Christine J. Yeh, “The Collectivistic Nature of Identity
Development Among Asian-American College
Students”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
82. Communication Resources
• “Stereotype Threat” by Joshua Aronson
• Brenda J. Allen, Difference Matters: Communicating
Social Identity
• William Gudykunst, Cross-Cultural and Intercultural
Comunication
• Milton Bennett, PhD, Intercultural Communication
Institute www.intercultural.org
• “Non-Verbal Communication Across Cultures” by Erica
Hagen, Intercultural Communication Resources
• Thiagi.com
• Thrive! Team Dynamics
• http://www.analytictech.com/mb021/action_science_
history.htm
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83. Courageous Conversation Resources
• Anti-Defamation League
• Brené Brown
• Cross Cultural Connections
(www.CulturesConnecting.com)
• National Coalition Building Institute
• The People’s Institute
• Stirfry Seminars
• Teaching Tolerance
• The Thiagi Group
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
84. Miscellaneous Resources
• Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman, “Privilege and
Power,” Summer Diversity Institute, National Association
of Independent Schools, 2009
• Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, Nurture Shock
• Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education
Network) www.glsen.org
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference
• Johnnie McKinley, “Leveling the Playing Field and Raising
African American Students’ Achievement in Twenty-nine
Urban Classrooms,” New Horizons for Learning,
http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/differentiated/
mckinley.htm
Michael J Nakkula and Eric Toshalis, Understanding Youth.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)