This document discusses identifying and addressing emotional triggers for overeating. It provides scenarios of people using food to cope with emotions like anxiety, guilt, and trauma. The stories of Rose and Kath further illustrate how emotional issues can underlie struggles with weight loss. The document recommends mapping emotional triggers, identifying the feelings that precede overeating episodes, and creating a support system to address the root causes of emotional eating.
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EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS
HOW TO IDENTIFY EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS TO
OVEREATING AND HOW TO WORK WITH THEM
This is the most important tool we use as psychologists.
Unless we identify the emotional triggers to overeating,
we can’t help our clients. Using food to deal with your
emotional problems causes a lifelong struggle with weight.
Let’s look at a few typical scenarios:
Scenario One
Thirty minutes after dinner, Richard sees TV news footage of
an earthquake in South America. Although he has never have
been in an earthquake, isn’t close to anyone who has, and has
no ties to South America, the images of desolation and despair
trigger powerful emotions of anxiety in him. Richard doesn’t
like feeling anxious, so he raids the pantry to distract himself
from his emotions and bury them under a pile of salt and
vinegar chips. He doesn’t consciously think, “I’m feeling anxious
because I’m distressed by people in despair, so I’ll reduce my
anxiety by opening a pack of chips.” For Richard, this behaviour
feels automatic.
Scenario Two
An hour after finishing dinner, Mary has hung out all the
washing, sorted out the kitchen, made sure the kid’s homework
and music practice are under control, and packed the last
lunch for the next day. She’s ready to collapse onto the couch
with her magazines, and on the way she picks up the block of
chocolate she had hidden on the top shelf of the pantry. This
feels like automatic well-rehearsed behaviour for Mary, who
has struggled to lose five kilos (11 pounds) for five years. But
what emotion makes her reach for the chocolate block? For
Mary, it is strong feelings of guilt. When she sits down to relax,
Mary feels lazy and selfish.
Emotional triggers are strong, sometimes
overwhelmingly so. They are quite
capable of overriding feelings of fullness
(and common sense). For example, a
person who has just finished dinner may
react emotionally to a thought, feeling,
behaviour or some external stimulus (like
an item on the news). This triggers them
to reach for something to eat. Often,
the emotional response triggers this
behaviour instantaneously.
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Most people overeat or eat when they’re not
hungry to avoid or distract themselves from
their overwhelming feelings.
Some people feel lonely or abandoned. Others may feel
ignored or neglected. Another group may feel unlovable.
They’re all experiencing an emotional void, an emptiness they
attempt to fill with food.
We also use food to avoid or bury anger. Anger is an extremely
powerful emotion. People who grew up in families where anger
was unleashed, or where it wasn’t tolerated, may believe that
anger is bad and needs to be repressed. Because they’ve never
learnt how to express their anger appropriately, it overwhelms
them, and they turn to food.
Some people feel burdened by feelings of shame or guilt.
Whatever the reason, these emotions can be onerous and
unbearable. They feel guilty or ashamed about things they have
and haven’t done. For these people, their guilt or shame can be
managed or lessened by turning to food, at least for a while.
Sometimes a trauma, experienced as a child or an adult, can
trigger emotional eating. For example, someone who has
suffered a trauma may find that eating chocolate soothes their
emotions. For a while, chocolate comforts them. And so a habit
is born. And pretty soon they’ll be reaching for chocolate every
time they feel distressed or upset.
Using food to deal with emotional distress causes a
life-long struggle with weight.
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Hi, I’m Rose, I’m 27 years old, and I’ve been obese all my life.
People think that’s impossible, because I must have just been a
chubby baby. But my weight was always in the 98th percentile.
I was born obese, I was a ten pounder (4.6 kilos), and I started
life being inconvenient to people ’cos my Mum had to have a
cesarean with me which she hadn’t needed for the boys, and
that put her out of action for weeks. And then I was ravenous
and got her up at night for feeds long after my brothers had
slept through.
I know it was hard lugging a heavy baby and then a heavy
toddler around with her to all the boys’ sports games, but she
was really great about it. Especially as I took my own sweet
time learning to walk. My Dad was just as good. He’s always
called me his little butter bean because I was so soft and round.
He still calls me Butter (which is actually a bit embarrassing
now at my age, but I know he means it in a really loving way).
The worst thing in my life happened about a year ago. I was at
the doctor and he had a look at the results of some tests he
had run a while ago, and got really mad. Do you want to die?
he yelled at me. He’s tried for years to get me to lose weight,
and I guess he was just a bit frustrated. But I was mortified.
The whole waiting room would have heard. I’ve never been so
humiliated in all my life. “You will die,” he said. Get yourself on
a diet and lose weight. I want you back in here in two months
and I want you 10 kilos (22 pounds) lighter.”
I thought that was pretty unfair, ’cos I had a great job which
I loved, a great circle of friends, a mortgage and a long-term
boyfriend. I was actually quite good at sticking with most
things, except losing weight.
I didn’t know where to turn, but I ended up at the chemist
looking at all the weight loss pills, and the chemist talked to
me about one of those diet shake systems. She said you need
to combine it with exercise, so I ended up at one of those all-
women gyms.
But my trainer was wonderful. She let me cry, and between
sobs, she asked me what was going on. My whole story came
out that day, the humiliation, the fear, the dread of trying and
failing, you name it, she heard it, warts and all. And to my
amazement, she wasn’t cross with me. In fact, the first thing
she said was, “Let’s get you off those wretched shakes and in to
see a dietitian.”
And that was the start of my new life. The dietitian she sent me
to was a bit like her, and we worked on a meal plan of mostly »
food I liked. But with both their support, I went with it (it felt
like stepping off a cliff). Neither of them criticised or blamed me
when it was tough.
ROSE, 27
“If you keep on eating
everything you see, you’ll
just get fatter.”
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I lost five kilos (11 pounds) in those first two months, and I was
over the moon. I’d never been able to do that before. I was
bursting with pride when I went back to see the GP, but he just
shook his head. “Hmm, I didn’t think you’d be able to do it, he
said. And I was right. At this rate, it’s going to take you forever
to lose all that weight.”
Back at the gym my trainer was cross, but not with me. “Stuff
them all,” she said, handing me a tissue. “You and I know how
hard you’ve worked. I’ve had enough of this. Time to change
doctors, and time to stop sharing your weight loss highs and
lows with your parents.”
Changing doctors felt a bit radical, but the dietitian referred me
to this amazing GP she knew. And for the first time in my entire
life, I stood up to my parents. When they asked me how much
I weighed at the next family dinner with my brothers and their
girlfriends and wives the following week, I spoke up bravely.
“From now on, I’m not going to be discussing that with you.”
I was shaking, but I felt great. We celebrated with high fives in
the gym the next day.
Now I’m not saying that any of this has been easy. Losing the
weight has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I’m not
exaggerating. But I’ve got a team on my side for the first time
that’s gently helping me along. And the weight is very, very
slowly coming off.
“It felt like stepping
off a cliff”
“From now on I’m not
discussing [my weight]
with you!”
9. 9
Well, there I was, leaning into the pantry as I do, hand poised
to pick up the pack of rosemary and sea salt chips. “Wait Kath,
have a think about what you’re doing.” But like a good girl I
stopped, hand poised. Would the nuts be a better option?
“Kath,” the voice warned. “Oh all right,” I replied, “I was just
thinking about it.” Damn, it had seemed so simple during the
therapy session, when we talked about putting some space
between leaning in to the pantry and picking up the chips. But
now I was leaning in, I was struggling to remember what to do.
How could I stop myself?
“That’s right!” I thought. And I took a step back and firmly closed
the pantry doors. Was I really hungry, or was I trying to fill the
empty space inside of me with food? And if I was really hungry,
did I feel like chips, or did I want something else? Was I getting
hunger and thirst confused again?
Drat. When I realised what it was that I really wanted, what I
wanted more than a pack of chips or a glass of wine (or even
George Clooney), I felt the colour drain away from my face. I
wanted a divorce!
My marriage had been rotten right from the start, and my
husband had always refused to talk about what was going on
for me, or why I was so unhappy. Well now the kids had grown
up and left, I was stuck all by myself living with a man I didn’t
respect, didn’t like, and hardly even talked to.
Good. What did I want to do now?
What I wanted to do was put on my runners and walk the 40
minutes to my sister’s place so I could talk it over with her! Well
that had never happened before either! So I phoned to make
sure she was there, eventually found my trainers and walked
over, letting my thoughts wander through this scary decision I
had made.
So that’s how my goal of losing weight ended up in divorce. I’m
not saying it was easy, but my psych was great with helping me
work out the connection between these seemingly unrelated
parts of my life. It was all about eating down my misery and
loneliness. And that last night of leaning in to the pantry
showed me how great getting out in the fresh air and walking
can be. I was a bit dumbfounded at first, I’d missed out on
something so important all my life, but at least I’d discovered
it while I could still walk. So now I get out for a walk every day,
and sometimes twice when I want some thinking time.
KATH, 53
“I felt the colour drain
from my face, I wanted a
divorce!”
“I fill myself up with good
times with people i love,
people who care about me”
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LET’S RECAP, AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE CAN
TRIGGER UNWANTED EATING BEHAVIOUR.
BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT?
STEP 1
STEP 2
STEP 3
STEP 4
Map out the events that led to an unwanted eating episode.
Create a time-line, and include as much detail as possible,
focusing on what you were thinking, feeling and doing.
Consider your environment, were you alone, was it dark, were
you expecting a call from someone who didn’t come?
Finally, ask yourself what meaning you placed on these events.
Now look at the feelings you were experiencing immediately
before the unwanted eating. If you can’t see anything in your
notes that triggered the eating, you may have moved through
the events too quickly. Try slowing things down, and replaying
exactly what happened in your mind. Close your eyes and
picture yourself going through the motions. Tease out every
experience, and write down every detail.
The emotions you’ve noticed immediately preceding the
unwanted eating will be the emotions that are likely to have
triggered your episode of unwanted eating.
Create a support team. Connect with people who can help you
on the journey and will do so without any judjment.
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Where to from here
Download our other e-book The Sane Guide to
Weight Loss: 75 Tips to Help You Never Diet Again.
Visit the PS Counselling website
Subscribe to our newsletter
Call us at 03 9882 8810
Stay in touch with social media
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ABOUT PS COUNSELLING
Kristina Mamrot – Director & Consulting Psychologist
While working with a broad range of presenting
problems, Kristina specialises in working in the PS Weight
Management Program with Eating Disorders and Obesity,
with adolescents and adults struggling with depression
and anxiety, and with women suffering from post-natal
depression. She also works with adults to improve
parenting skills and in couples counselling.
Kate Swann – Director & Consulting Psychologist
Treating clients across the range of presenting issues
at PS, Kate specialises in working with adults and
adolescents who have experienced childhood trauma,
and are struggling with depression and/or anxiety. She
also works with Eating Disorders, Obesity, and Borderline
Personality Disorder.