A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder sucks the life and shatters the soul out of the caring person in the relationship. Healing from Narcissistic Abuse is a long and painful process. To move on from this toxic and hopeless situation seems insurmountable. This PowerPoint was created to address the question I am most commonly asked: ‘Why Can’t I Move On?’ I hope it helps. Jeni Mawter

1. “Why Can’t I Move
On?”
Narcissistic Abuse:
A Complex Trauma
Compiled by Jeni Mawter
www.jenimawter.com

2. http://www.mymajors.com/blog/creativeoutlook/files/2013/10/chained-dreams-online.jpg

3. What happened when you met your
narcissist?
The narcissist mirrored your needs, desires,
fears and insecurities. They mirrored your
ideals, beliefs and value systems. They shared
your ethics and human compassion. They
were the whole package.
Mind + Body + Spirit + Soul = Soul Mate
You’d found your Soul Mate!

4. Narcissistic Relationships
are mutually
addictive
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/originals/b4/78/db/b478dbc011d6086ed99c19e7a55a9769.jpg

5. Narcissistic Relationships
are mutually
addictive
The Narcissist
wants to be:
Loved
Adored
Admired
Cherished
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/x/chain-hearts-
17930342.jpg
You want to
be:
Loved
Adored
Admired
Cherished

6. A Relationship with a
Narcissist
comes at a cost
Mental Cost = Sanity/Self-
esteem/Confidence
Physical Cost = Energy/Safety/Health
Psychological Cost =
Fear/Depression/Anxiety
Spiritual Cost = Lose your ‘Self’/Soul/Spirit
Social Cost =
Reputation/Networks/Supports
Sexual Cost = Relationships/Pleasure/Trust

7. http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/dd/b2/73/ddb273f68f08c262425fd14f0f10c89d.jpg

8. “Why do you
keep paying
with your life?”

9. Maybe you don’t know
what you’ve been dealing
with
http://www.adamsmith.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/ignorance-620x300.png

10. Maybe you ignore Warning
Signs
http://naijaoddstories.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/wpid-17.jpeg

11. Don’t listen to your intuition?
http://brainworldmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/shutterstock_99404807.jpg

12. Maybe you do know
EVERYTHING about
Narcissistic Personality
http://media-cache-ec3.pinimg.com/736x/dc/23/ec/dc23ec68e11e3fd8856c66529a204c8c.jpg

13. Yet you
still
can’t
move on!

14. Knowledge
hasn’t helped you
http://assets.mixxtopia.com/images/730x%3E/80/91/0d/80910d0dfde84859be2c44a84616f107.jpg

15. Knowledge alone is not enough
https://homesforfamilies.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/knowledgeispower.gif

16. Maybe you choose not to
act?
http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs47/f/2009/239/3/4/
i__m_sorry__my_hands_are_tied__
by_boobookittyfuck.jpg

17. Maybe you don’t know how to
act?
http://www.psychologyatsouthyarra.com.au/images/psychology_help.jpg

18. Don’t know where to start?
http://orgjunkie.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/when-you-dont-know-where-to-start2.jpg

19. What
to do?
Who
am I?
http://modifiedarts.org/wp-content/
uploads/Potter-11.jpg

20. Caution!
https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7019/6489863301_3269733f06.jpg

22. Why are you stuck
in this perpetual cycle?
Stuck in the aftermath of
Narcissistic Abuse?
Some thoughts
…

23. Have you become
dehumanized?
As human beings we:
- have essential needs to be accepted,
loved and respected by ourselves and
others.
- have dreams and hopes for meaningful
and productive futures.
- need to feel connected with others.

24. Society Let You Down? - Myths
http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk

25. Society Let You Down? – Family
http://real.fstatuses.com/cards/hearts/642154.jpg

26. Society Let You Down? –
Religious Leaders
http://images.3aw.com.au/2012/12/19/3901153/191212-Religious-Symbols.jpg

27. Society Let You Down? –
Health Professionals
http://www.paulkiritsis.net/drugabuse.jpg

28. Society Let You Down? -
Counselors
http://image.slidesharecdn.com/7mythsaboutnarcissism-110215075316-phpapp02/95/7-myths-about-narcissism-4-
728.jpg?cb=1411737172

29. Society Let You Down? –
Law Enforcement
http://d3thflcq1yqzn0.cloudfront.net/022416038_prevstill.jpeg

30. Society Let You Down? –
Legal System
Narcissists
love
Courtroom Drama
http://storytweetblog.com/2014/09/13/
narcissistic-repercussion/

31. Society Let You Down? –
You
ME?!!!
http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/111/3/d/what_do_you_mean_meme_by_jasperseidel-d4x2gtr.jpg

32. Maybe you won’t believe
the abuse is deliberate
https://www.pilkington.com/~/media/Platform/Icons/Pilkington%20Product%20Categories/BLC%20Safety%20Securi
ty.ashx?mw=200

33. You’re keeping up a façade
http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/231/4/b/behind_the_mask_by_kaizoku_hime-d6it0f3.jpg

34. You feel ashamed …
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Society/Pix/pictures/2011/7/6/1309962558124/Young-black-man-with-
head-007.jpg

35. You’ve been in denial
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/thumb/msid-22175182,width-310,resizemode-4/poke-me-shouldnt-we-
stop-being-in-denial-over-the-health-of-our-leaders-people-readers-react.jpg

36. You’ve been living with the
false hope that things will
change
http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs14/f/2007/043/0/7/false_hope_by_feelmefromtheINSIDE.jpg

37. It feels like you’ve got
too much to lose
http://www.jobboardscripts.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/stay-or-leave.jpg

38. You’re being Triangulated
http://www.theravive.com/blog/image.axd?picture=2009%2F7%2Ftriangulation-a.jpg

39. You feel overwhelmed
http://b.fastcompany.net/multisite_files/fastcompany/imagecache/1280/poster/2014/10/3037633-poster-p-1-6-steps-
to-stop-feeling-so-overwhelmed.jpg

40. You feel abandoned
http://www.runningwithspoons.com

41. You’re confused …
http://thereselives.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/large.jpg

42. When you Dissociate to
Disappear,
http://metaphoricalmarathons.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/20121115-143310.jpg

43. it feels like you’ve lost your
soul
http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large-5/a-lost-soul-brian-graybill.jpg

44. You’ve become a “Missing
Person”
in a body
http://pixelsatanexhibition-com.zippykid.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/michelle-
robinson_uselessness-project-365-looking-for-the-lost-self_130201-1024x768.jpg

45. You don’t know who you are
anymore
http://www.pastortullian.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/identity_crisis-291x3001.jpg

46. Your assumptions about
yourself
have been shattered. You now
feel:- Vulnerable
- Unlovable
- Irrational
- Immoral
- Unworthy
- Unforgiving
- Irrelevant
- Weak
- A poor judge of
character
- Shameful
- Not Safe
- Undeserving
- Lack confidence
- Gullible
- Desperate
- Bitter
- Angry
- Naïve
- A failure
- Traumatized
- Powerless

47. You don’t have the energy
to move on

48. You were taught wrong!
http://www.liveluvcreate.com/image/love_respect_forgive-439073.html

49. When you expect nothing
in return you’ve learnt …
http://blank.to/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/5_k.jpg

50. You’ve become Nothing
http://samuelatgilgal.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/criticism-784297.jpg

51. Maybe you’ve been betrayed
too many
times!
http://www.psychic-medium-readings.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/betrayal-240x300.jpg

52. You’ve lost all your trust
http://drewchial.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/trust-fall.jpg

53. Maybe there are too many
narcissists in your life?!
http://uploads0.wikiart.org/images/honore-daumier/meeting-of-thirty-five-heads-of-expression.jpg

54. Your boundaries are being
violated
http://musictherapyeolcare.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/fence.jpg?w=672&h=372&crop=1

55. You are in a permanent state
of
Hypervigilence
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NJ9wC5l-
8nE/Tqn6nW_3uzI/AAAAAAAABVk/PimfqmmjPX8/s400/Fight%2BOr%2BFlight%2BUncertainty.jpg

56. You can’t concentrate or
sleep
http://www.batte.com/images/figures/e.exhaustion.w.jpg

57. You’re exhausted …
http://data1.whicdn.com/images/40542999/thumb.jpg

58. You’re bogged down with
negative self talk
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/image3.jpg

59. You’re confused by
mixed messages
http://www.9lenses.com/wp-content/uploads/The_Ultimate_Love-Hate_Relationship_–_Marketing__Sales.gif

60. You think you’re going
Crazy!
http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/357/e/5/i__m_not_crazy____am_i__by_maxkill300-d4k1m5d.jpg

61. The Pain is Physical and
Constant
http://kalabalu.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/22-649x627.jpeg

62. Yet your wounds are invisible
http://wwwassets.rand.org/content/rand/capabilities/solutions/addressing-the-invisible-wounds-of-
war/_jcr_content/par/solution/contextImage.aspectfit.0x0.jpg/1393779650822.jpg

63. Tactic: Reversal of Victim
Role
The Narcissist puts a huge amount of effort into their
public persona. Bystanders believe that they are
genuine, righteous and kind. If a victim attempts to
disclose their maliciousness The Narcissist makes
derogatory remarks about the target’s mental state,
character and motives.
They use role reversal, feigning moral indignation
and playing the role of victim. Believing the public
persona supporters see the real victim, attempting to
be heard, as the abusive one.

64. People don’t understand
the extent of your torment
http://media-cache-
ak0.pinimg.com/originals/9a/c1/25/9ac1255051f26cc63203a58ab14556a1.jpg

65. So there’s No Validation
We heal
when
we are
heard
and
validated

66. No Validation means No Justice
from
 Legal Systems
 Family
 Friends
 Work Colleagues
 Peers
 New Partners
 Health Systems
http://www.wallpaperhere.com/System_Failure_6939/downloa
d_1024x768

67. It feels like it’s never over
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bI36yWhwDLw/UciMvOCoDuI/AAAAAAAAAaE/pWKyiAudbKI/s1600/spider.jpg

68. Nothing gets resolved!!!
http://cps-static.rovicorp.com/3/JPG_400/MI0002/095/MI0002095848.jpg?partner=allrovi.com

69. You feel trapped
http://static.squarespace.com/static/540cc627e4b068678cd35206/t/5435aad5e4b09dbd92ea6da2/1412803285714/
06web.jpg

70. You’re Emotionally ‘Shut
Down’
http://chosen129.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2014/04/HolleyGerth-Quote.jpg

71. ‘Self’ doubting
http://www.nextbigwhat.com/pi-of-life-please-stop-hiding-in-the-cracks-297/

72. Isolation gives ‘Self’
Protection
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c7/80/2b/c7802bf8ab9702442374b03cfaaa8c26.jpg

73. You keep re-living the pain
http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/imagecache/og/blogs/40875/2010/12/51578-41666.jpg

74. Your pain is your identity
http://www.imaginationstudio.com/images/digiart/damedium/Identity%20Crisis.jpg

75. You’re stuck on being ‘The
Victim’
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-
7C9UIz3JozU/Uw2BLvI3AvI/AAAAAAAAARE/eHZEDe4hgBU/s1600/
Steve+Maraboli+Quote+Victim+Mentality.jpg

76. You’re Stuck in the Past
http://images.psxextreme.com/wallpapers/ps3/lost_identity_1273.jpg

77. Unresolved
Grief and Forgiveness
http://brainbodybalance.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/forgiveness1-300x227.png

78. You’re too nice! In order to move on
you must reject what drives you
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jfUgrSCsIUI/TnJBF-
42xbI/AAAAAAAAANA/RgeO0vYQf_8/s1600/I+Face+Trials+with+an+Open+Mind%252C+Faith%252C+Love+

79. You feel meaningless
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/203/488566808_3c5703fecb.jpg?v=1178597646

80. You feel used and
discarded
http://dethcheez.deviantart.com/art/Discarded-2-Close-Up-60849999

81. You feel powerless
http://www.carolecgood.com/1206409464X4DK13I.jpg

82. You feel
battle
worn
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com
/2013/01/top-taps-127-42.jpg
?w=500&h=750

83. Why is it so easy
for an abuser
to get away with it
and so difficult
for an abuse victim
to be heard?

84. Unless others have experienced
Narcissistic Abuse they don’t
believe it
https://afternarcissisticabuse.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/1inexplicable.jpg?w=604

85. You can’t change
a Narcissist
so you have to
change your ‘Self’

86. What is your ‘Self’?
http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/who-am-i-sladjana-
endt.jpg
Needs
Desires
Opinions
Thoughts
Feelings
Values
Beliefs
Voice
Ideals

87. Start by
finding the
missing
‘You’
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/
originals/7a/54/f6/7a54f6983fa3ae
7506473501c28fee9b.jpg

88. Maybe create a new ‘You’
http://i.vimeocdn.com/video/493294383_640.jpg

89. Watch this space!
http://www.birmingham-box.co.uk/files/images/applicationfiles/1128.001eeb5e/800x600.fitdown.jpg

90. About Jeni Mawter
Jeni Mawter is an Australian
writer whose young adult
multi-text novel, Kiss Kill, is
about Narcissistic Personality
Disorder.
http://amzn.com/B00PIADCNY
www.jenimawter.com

91. Narcissistic Abuse
thrives in secrecy
Please
share
http://pixabay.com/p-310969/?no_redirect

92. Other Narcissistic Personality Disorder links to share
 http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/red-flags-to-
narcissistic-personality-disorder-compiled-by-jeni-
mawter
 http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/narcissistic-
victim-syndrome-a-powerpoint-by-jeni-mawter
 http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/moving-on-
from-narcissistic-abuse-due-to-narcissistic-
personality-disorder-npd-compiled-by-jeni-mawter
 http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/verbal-abuse-
and-the-narcissist-communication-tactics-designed-
to-make-you-crazy