"Tips for Writing Powerful College Application Essays: Dr. Rebecca Joseph, Associate Professor at California State University and college essay and admission expert, will present information to assist you with writing your UC personal insight questions as well as essays for a variety of college applications. Parents are welcome." Presentation in spring 2019.

1. Getting to Know You
Spring 2019
Tips for Writing Powerful College
Application Essays
Rebecca Joseph
getmetocollege@gmail.com
@getmetocollege

2. The Role of Essays
Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you.

3. Essays Are One Piece of The
Applicant’s Quilt
Test
Scores
Grades
Rigor of
Coursework
ActivitiesRec Letters
Unique
passions
and
potential
Demonstrated
Interest

4. Colleges Are Not Looking For…

5. University of California

6. One application
• What do you want UC to know about you?
Here’s your chance to tell us in your own
words.
• Directions
• You will have 8 questions to choose from. You
must respond to only 4 of the 8 questions.
• Each response is limited to a maximum of 350
words.
• Which questions you choose to answer is
entirely up to you: But you should select
questions that are most relevant to your
experience and that best reflect your
individual circumstances.
• Keep in mind
• All questions are equal: All are given equal
consideration in the application review
process, which means there is no advantage
or disadvantage to choosing certain questions
over others.
• There is no right or wrong way to answer
these questions: It’s about getting to know
your personality, background, interests and
achievements in your own unique voice.

7. Fall 2019 Prompts
1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced
others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.
2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original
and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.
3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated
that talent over time?
4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to
overcome an educational barrier you have faced.
5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to
overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest
inside and/or outside of the classroom.
7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
8. What is the one thing that you think sets you apart from other candidates applying to the
University of California?

8. Sample Responses
• 1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped
resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.
I have loved my four year involvement with Youth and Government, a program where kids across California learn and
experience the California government during two annual conferences and a five-day convention in Sacramento. Each
year I have led different efforts to further my involvement and learn more about political action. In ninth grade, I
authored and promoted a bill on veteran care, and in 10th grade, I led a campaign team for a youth governor
candidate.
Last year I ran to become the Executive Assistant of my Youth and Government Delegation, and I won. After spending
these past three years admiring the team of officers tasked with controlling our raging delegation of 120 politically
active teenagers, I knew that I wanted to help lead the delegation senior year. I spend the majority of my job
organizing delegation meetings, sending out memos to our constituency, creating committees to handle our
campaigns, and keeping order throughout our conferences and weekly assemblies. As Executive Assistant, I also have
the privilege of working with the new members of our delegation, mostly freshmen. I teach them how to debate and
draft bills, navigate our various program, and run for any elected positions.
The inspiration for my Executive Assistant campaign came in 11th grade when I authored and sponsored a proposal
promoting the legalization of prostitution. I learned a lot about myself while working to pass my own proposal. Firstly,
I realized that not everyone resoundingly approves of an idea just because I feel passionately about it. When pitching
my proposal to the 300 delegates in my program, I argued my points about regulation and safety countless times
before people would even sign to allow me to debate on the floor. Secondly, I learned that by doing research and
speaking eloquently, I could win support from unexpected parties. When I was at the podium, a girl who had opposed
me stood up to support me after my speech. Finally, I came away with a love for leading and impacting people, which
led me to become Executive Assistant where I use that passion directly in my delegation.

9. •“Think of it as
your interview
with the
admissions
office. Be open.
Be reflective.
Find your
individual voice
and express it.”

10. Sample Responses
Prompt 2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative
thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side
I have always loved singing and problem solving. Everyone always says that singing is an art and that problem solving is a science,
but after I joined Acapali, Pali’s a cappella group, I finally found a perfect forum to explore both disciplines together.
It is actually quite interesting how such an artistic process takes the form of an experiment. To arrange a song we listen to the
material and experiment with hypothetical sounds. Once we go through a trial and error process of choosing syllables and vowels
to replace instruments we all gather around a big whiteboard and draw various charts to create the perfect song sequence.
Often times we undergo the strenuous collaborative process of taking two completely different songs and mashing them
together.
Within the group, everyone has an equal chance to pitch ideas and direct the group towards their vision. We frequently marvel
at the fact that we work without a leader yet efficiently and productively. The idea of equal collaboration has become a shocking
concept due to the working models we see in the world today. Without one reigning force, I have learned that we still have the
capacity to work collectively if everyone utilizes the tool of listening.
In fact, listening has become the most important aspect of a group like Acapali. We all listen to each other's voices for ideas and
for blend when we actually sing. I didn’t have the ability to harmonize before I joined the group. Solely from the creative process
of constructing multi-level musical arrangements, I have expanded my repertoire to include upper and lower harmonies, musical
transposition, and instrumental vocal simulation.
The best thing about this art is that I get to share it with people. After we develop the perfect piece over a lot of heated
discussion and collaboration, we continue the work on a stage in front of people who appreciate what we have created. The
stimulation never stops even when everything is perfect because on stage we are completely focused on the group and keeping
tempo, pitch, and blend.
Who says an art cannot be science?

11. Sample Responses
5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge.
How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
When I was 14-years-old, my dad was diagnosed with severe depression and became suicidal. Within the space of two
months, my entire life changed. Soon after the diagnosis while my father was in and out of programs, our family had
to move out of our house, and my parents separated. During this time, all I could think about was the memories I had
with my dad like the Dodger games he used to take me to and his unique laugh when I would tell him a joke. It
shocked me to think that my then five-year-old brother Joey would not have these same memories that I had. Rather
than letting my dad’s illness affect my aspirations in life, I believe that my dad’s illness allowed me to fully mature as a
person.
With my father no longer able to support the family, my mom began work, and I took on a bigger responsibility as an
older brother. For a while, I tried to replicate my dad’s persona to my brother so he would get the same amazing
experience that I had with my dad growing up. However, it was quite difficult as Joey did not understand why his dad
could not be with him anymore. My approach shifted during the summer of 10th grade when I became a counselor at
Camp Harmony, a non-profit that sends underprivileged kids to camp. I realized that just as it was unsuccessful for me
to act like a father to Joey, the kids at camp did not want me to be a fatherly figure to them. However, they needed a
brother, and I knew I could be that.
After camp, I started to be a better role model to my brother which helped him understand our situation much better.
I have returned to Camp Harmony two more summers and serve on their teen board. While I would do anything to
have my dad back as he once was, I believe that in overcoming his absence, I became a stronger person for my family
and community.

12. Sample Responses
3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over
time?
I joined Pali’s Moot Court program last year as the only new member among a group of seasoned participants fearing
that I would not compare. Of course I overlooked how I had been developing my argumentation skills since I was
blessed with a younger sister and had debated proposals in Youth and Government since ninth grade.
In preparation for my first Moot Court competition, I devoted countless hours to studying case law and writing my
speech. In the months before the statewide competition, I practiced my speech dozens of times before a fake justice
panel. In Moot Court participants compete as a Petitioner, Respondent, and Justice, meaning simply that everyone
argues both sides of a case and then presides over the debaters. To excel, I have to know the case law like the palm of
my hand, create completely original arguments, and respond very quickly to questions.
During this first statewide competition, I was arguing issue 1 and 2 while my partner was supposed to argue issue 3,
but my skills were put to the test when my partner failed to show up. An hour before giving my speech, I was forced to
learn the entirety of issue 3 and create unique arguments for it.
Having to work within such a demanding time limit and then present before a panel of six scrupulous justices, I
learned that my eloquence and demeanor held up under pressure. Even without my partner, I won 1st place Petitioner
and 1st place justice in California.
Even since then, I’ve continued working to better myself, and six months later my new 2-person team competed in the
national Moot Court competition at Princeton. Despite the sweltering heat, we kept our composure round after round
and won third out of 500 teams across the nation.
By participating in Moot Court, I have advanced my greatest talent: debating, which harnesses my strengths in public
speaking, spontaneity, and innovative idea development.

13. Sample Responses
6. Describe your favorite academic subject and explain how it has influenced you.
My interest in economics started in middle school when I started reading the economy section of the New York Times:
I loved learning about start-up companies that became highly successful through great leadership. The articles pushed
my fascination with the US economy and prompted me to take AP Microeconomics and AP Macroeconomics during
junior year and to attend a summer business program.
I thoroughly enjoyed taking both classes, as the material made me really think about the world I live in and how
wealth is shared. Thinking about the economy as a whole allows me to understand politics even more, as I am now
able to understand how economics and politics are inter-connected.
I also enjoy thinking about the microeconomy and how small businesses operate on a daily basis. As a class, we took
field trips to witness how small businesses demonstrate these theories. During my favorite trip to the Hollywood
Farmers Market, I enjoyed speaking with the stand owners. While they did not know the technical economic
vocabulary, they had a keen sense of the microeconomic theories. For example, I noticed that the avocado stand
changed its prices the second week I visited due to a high demand the prior week.
Connecting economic theories to reality fascinates me, and I now apply theories to everyday life. For example, I now
constantly weigh the opportunity costs of two situations before making a final decision. My passion translated into
academic success: I earned a 5 on each AP and received the class honors award for my excellent work and leadership
skills.
I especially loved the problem-solving aspects of the content which I experienced directly when I attended the 2015
Wharton Sports Business Academy. At this four-week summer program, I learned about the economic business side of
sports while competing in a business plan competition. Using economic theories in our business plan, my team won
the competition. I served as our presenter and lead the group throughout the program. After this program and taking
the classes last year, I definitely want to continue studying economics in college.

14. Sample Responses
7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
Having attending a large public high school, I have contributed to making my school a better place by joining the
National Honors Society (NHS) in tenth grade. In this organization, each member is required to volunteer at numerous
school events throughout the year. I have enjoyed the service that I no longer view as mandatory, but as part of my
ongoing contribution to strengthening my school community.
One of my favorite events is our “8th Grade Step-up Day,” which consists of our school hosting the following year’s
freshman class. Throughout the day, NHS members run many different participatory activities which provide a great
way for them to meet some of their future classmates. While volunteering on this day, I socialize with the students
and answer all of their questions about the school. Volunteering at “8th Grade Step-up Day” positively impacts the
school because as the face of the institution, we proudly show others what it’s like to be a part of our school
community.
Another way that National Honors Society helps me leave an impact on my school is through its peer tutoring
program. I have helped numerous students who struggle in math. Being an advisor in the peer tutoring program
benefits my school community in a number of ways. For example, with fellow students helping out, teachers have
more time to come up with lesson plans, and do not have to stop down daily instruction during class. This program
not only helps the teachers, and the struggling students, but also benefits us by giving us the opportunity to share our
knowledge and help guide students who aren’t comprehending the material. It’s a great feeling when I can teach
something, and it just clicks.
Participating in the National Honors Society has really helped me become a part of program that benefits the school,
and I am very thankful that I joined!

15. Sample Responses
8. What is the one thing that you think sets you apart from other candidates applying to the University of California?
I believe I stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California because I am dedicated
simultaneously to improving the individual problems of teenagers and to creating multiple avenues for teenagers to
seek and receive support.
For the past three years, I have volunteered as a listener at Teen Line, a nationally recognized, confidential peer-to-
peer call in and email hotline. Time and time again, I connect with distressed teenagers, whether they have just fought
with a friend, suffer from bullying, or just feel blue. Serving as a safe haven hopefully helps the callers and has most
definitely changed my life. I am now a mental health advocate and activist because I value the power of empathetic
listening.
Last spring I was asked to mentor the incoming Teen Line training group. Not only did this experience connect me to
my passion for psychology and helping the community, but it also prompted me to bring peer mental health support
to my high school, because I have met many students in crisis in my community. Although I initially experienced
administrative opposition, when I demonstrated the power of Teen Line, I received approval. I created “NormanAid
Mail,” an email service that advises students in crisis and specifically refers them to school resources.
Realizing I wanted to reach additional struggling teens, I needed to become proactive. Therefore, I began the
“NormanAid Monthly Mental Health Series,” thematic activities for students, families, and teachers. In addition, I
overcame my fear of public speaking and began addressing groups of parents, therapists, and even Los Angeles Police
Department cadets. For each community, I tailor my message and observe how desperate they are for additional
powerful strategies to help the increasing number of emotionally distraught teens.
My work is never-ending. Currently, I am about to be featured in a national campaign--Different Is Beautiful-- to
highlight the power of celebrating our differences and erasing stereotypes for students in middle and high school. I
don’t envision my commitment to expanding and depending mental health support to adolescents to ever end.

16. Fall 2020 EOP Questions
Answers to the following questions will help us determine your motivation
and preparation to undertake college work. Please answer as precisely and
honestly as possible. Use complete sentences and avoid responses such as
“yes” or “no.”
• List any volunteer, extracurricular activities, or work experience in which
you are or have been involved in the past two years.
• Why would you like to attend college? Discuss your career and personal
goals. Are there any particular circumstances, school experiences, or
persons that influenced your preparation or motivation to attend
college (e.g., cultural/financial background, family, teachers, schools you
attended)? Please explain.
• Briefly discuss your academic background. Did you utilize any additional
support at your high school, such as tutoring? Do your grades in high
school and/or college reflect your academic ability or potential? 4
• Briefly describe your family’s economic background. Include information
about your financial challenges.
• Please tell us more about yourself. Is there any additional information
you would like EOP to consider in determining your admission to the
program?

17. The Common Application

18. Fall 2020 Common Application Prompts
• 1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so
meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this
sounds like you, then please share your story.
• 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later
success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did
it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
• 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What
prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
• 4. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an
intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma – anything that is of
personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and
what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
• 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of
personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
• 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose
all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when
you want to learn more?
• 7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already
written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

19. Sample Essay
English is one of my better subjects, my best actually, but Palisades Charter High School decided that
no matter if you spell lose with two o’s or can write a 30-page research paper without spellcheck you
are going to take the same English 9 course. So there I sat every day, attempting to block out the
annoying voice of Diego, which incessantly projected across the room and hit me in the back of the
head like a shovel. Halfway through the year, my teacher pulled me outside before class and asked
me if I could tutor Diego since my binder was color-coded and I actually read the material, while
Diego was making spitballs and failing. While I was skeptical of how much influence I would have on
Diego, I agreed to try to help.
It was quite a shock to me when I asked Diego about his favorite book series, and it was the same as
mine had been in middle school. He said he knew it wasn’t at our level but that he rarely read
anymore because of peer pressure. I slowly began to realize that I had misjudged him. It wasn’t that
he didn’t care about the class, it was that the social world he lived in didn’t permit him to “be a
nerd.” I decided to help him get an A, and we devised a study schedule. I quizzed him on vocabulary
while we walked to the library and I proofread his essays. What I didn’t realize was that as I was
helping Diego, he was helping me. He made me realize how superficial my judgments were. He
reminded me that I’m lucky to have been raised to not only love my education, but to be surrounded
by people who allow me to be proud of it.
Tutoring Diego helped me get a better understanding of the world. My empathy for other people
grew, my perception of the world changed, and I felt more empowered to mentor others and utilize
every opportunity I’m given. Most importantly, being surrounded by diversity of every kind makes me
grateful because the reality is that I’m blessed. My grandmother didn’t board a boat at age 18,
speaking only Spanish and fleeing from Fidel Castro, for me to forget where I came from and the
people that share my roots. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how rare and special my bubble of a life is.

20. I’m reminded every day of the struggle that my family underwent to give me the
life that I have. The values of hard work and gratitude have been instilled in me by
my mother, who paid for college on her own, and my grandmother, who raised a
family of five without a college education. Above all, however, my family’s
encouragement for me to help others has shaped my character.
I’ve seen the power one small act can have on someone’s life, which inspired me to
volunteer with the Wise Readers to Leaders Program this past summer and tutor
the less fortunate students. While volunteering in my sixth-grade class, we helped
students to climb up to grade level in reading and created a comfortable
atmosphere for students to express their individual stories in art and writing.
Seeing the change in the children I taught gave me confidence in my power to
influence the arc of a child’s life.
I know from my family and my experience with Diego how valuable support and
encouragement can be in education, and I was honored and proud to have made a
difference for my students. I felt that same pride when I sat down in my AP US
History class on the first day of 11th grade and Diego sat down next to me, no
longer in need of my help, to take his first AP class.

21. Another Long Sample
As I stood on a dark stage, wearing traditional Karpathian clothing and waiting for
the lights to come on for my group’s performance, I contemplated every possible
worst-case scenario. Would I let my group down? Would I make mistakes? What if
the musicians forgot their cues? Before I had any time to think over these
questions, the music came on. In that split second, I went from a nervous wreck to
a liberated dancer as I put aside all worries, and let the music and my personality
dictate my movements.
I began Greek folk dance as a way to preserve the fading connection I have with the
heritage of my grandfather. My grandfather was a serious intellectual, but also a
uniquely elegant dancer, and because of that, he was someone I always wanted to
emulate. One day I came across his collection of cassette tapes and began listening
to them. Strangely, I was both soothed and stimulated by the sounds of the clarinet
and lyre. Listening to the same tapes my grandfather had, I felt prompted to
explore the traditional music and dances of Greece.
To put it colloquially, I’m known as a “guy’s guy” full of spontaneity and
exuberance. The natural and rustic sounds of the lyre and tsambouna trigger an
indescribable desire to display these personality traits in ways that the spoken word
cannot. I'm able to showcase my spontaneous and exuberant tendencies, while at
other times expressing my overshadowed laconic nature. Through my explorations
of music and dance, I’ve learned that self-expression is an essential component of
the human condition.

22. Through dance I’ve also been welcomed into a community that accentuates the virtue of
“philotimo,” the iconicized Greek virtue of morality, responsibility, and honor. My grandfather
championed it and passed down the teachings of this virtue to me through my parents.
Learning about philotimo, I have developed a strong desire to give back to the tight-knit
community that raised me.
I always attended Sunday school as a kid, and never had the most fun. Sitting down and
learning about scripture when I could've been horsing around with my friends, was not an
enjoyable experience for me. Sunday school shouldn't be a chore; it should be an engaging
and lively activity. That's why I became a teacher. I now present the Orthodox faith to my
students in a way that encourages them to understand the importance of moral values. But it
goes beyond learning about faith and morals; it's up to me to keep my first and second grade
students engaged, to make them laugh. Having an engaged class is one of many ways to keep
the future generations returning as avid members of our community.
This past summer, philotimo took on a new meaning for me as I became a counselor at the
church camp I had attended for eight years. I spent a week organizing kids to take part in the
activities and discussions that profoundly impacted me as a kid. Watching my campers sitting
side by side with their newly met friends and grinning as widely as I had at that age, I gained
an equally fulfilling experience just knowing I played a role in their enjoyment. These
experiences have taught me that philotimo is the gift that keeps on giving, and it’s perhaps the
most beautiful aspect of Greek culture that I’ve passionately explored.
Dance has not only provided me with a platform for me to express myself, but has also
connected me to a centuries long heritage and to a community that exemplifies “philotimo.” I
can trace these historic dances and virtues deep into my family tree, which has given me a
warm satisfaction, knowing that I continue to stay rooted in the values of my heritage while
encouraging future generations to do the same.

23. Each College’s Additional Essays Differ

24. USC

25. USC=CommonApp + 2AdditionalShortEssays
• 1. 250 word max. Pick one.
• USC believes that one learns best when interacting with people of
different backgrounds, experiences and perspectives. Tell us about a
time you were exposed to a new idea or when your beliefs were
challenged by another point of view.
• Describe something outside of your intended academic focus about
which you are interested in learning.
• What is something about yourself that is essential to understanding
you?

26. Sample
When asked constantly why I do so much civic leadership at Brentwood, I always answer
because I want to give back to the community that has done so much for me. I feel a huge
sense of debt to my school, which when my financial situation changed in 9th grade, funded
my education for the past three years. As a leader, I believe in giving back to the community
for which I have the utmost appreciation and respect.
As head-prefect, I am focusing on building up unity within the high school. To improve school
spirit, I brought the House Cup back to the high school . This is a competition between grades
where students earn points for their perspective grades by attending different school events.
The winning grade each month celebrates with the House Cup trophy in their possession while
also receiving different prizes throughout the year. So far, the House Cup has not only
increased attendance at sports and art events but has also been very successful in increasing
school spirit and enhancing unity.
As head-prefect, I have also represented my school in the community. I was recently asked by
the head of school to represent the student body during a public hearing regarding
Brentwood’s construction plans. In front of an audience of a few hundred people, I defended
Brentwood in front of two public officials. I am thoroughly excited to continue to lead my
school the rest of senior year.

27. USC 2nd Supplement
2. Describe how you plan to pursue your academic interests at
USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice
major selections. (250 word limit) (Required. 250 word max,
Paste in)

28. Sample
After extensive research and conversations with former alumni, I know firsthand how the
University of Southern California will sate my academic and intellectual hunger. Economics and
Political Science are two areas that I desire to study in college, and USC offers a great
combination of these passions.
While taking AP Microeconomics and AP Macroeconomics junior year, I learned that thinking
about the economy allows one to understand politics even more. Knowing that Economics and
Politics are two studies so rich in connection to each other, I was excited to discover that USC’s
Political Economy program not only combines two of my current passions but also allows me
the opportunity to integrate ethics and logic.
Along with the standard economic and political science courses available, two Political
Economy courses really stand out. The Political Economy of Institutions class will combine my
two passions right away, as I have always been interested in the role the government plays in
the economy. Another course that grabs my attention is the Law, Politics, and Public Policy
class. As a civic leader, I want to better understand the process of decision-making in making
laws. This class would allow me to explore how laws are made by researching and analyzing
different moral theories. The Political Economy major at USC would allow me to explore the
intersections with the economy and political theory and thus I am honored to submit my
application.

29. Essays=Opportunity
•Share
•Reflect
•Stand Out

30. Before All Essays: Strategic Planning

31. Organization Matters

32. Before Common App Long Essay:
Brainstorming Strategies

33. Before School Specific Essays

34. Through: Guided Questions

35. Through: Revising and Revising

36. Beyond: Completing The Puzzle

37. Contact Dr. Joseph
• @getmetocollege
• All College Application Essays
• www.allcollegeessays.org
• getmetocollege@gmail.com