I am a staunch believer in recycling...

1. Ten creative uses for
an empty Patron bottle

2. 1. Classy decanter
The perfect
complement to your
collection of Lalique,
Baccarat, and
Waterford. Or
decanting that bottle
of plonk you’ve been
saving for a special
occasion.

3. 2. Designer flower vase
Blends perfectly
with both
traditional and
modern decors.
Guaranteed to
make you the envy
of all your friends!

4. 3. Second-chance candle snuffer
Ever snuff a candle
and then regret
doing so? This user-
friendly device
ensures you have
almost 20 seconds in
which to change
your mind!

5. 4. No-skid doorstop
Why look for an
old brick when you
already have this
beautiful,
machine-crafted
objet d’art?

6. 5. Scissor-holder desk accessory
Tired of always
searching for your
scissors? This is
the ideal way to
keep your desktop
organized.

7. 6. Cost-effective tuba mute
Too much oomph
in your om-pa-pa?
Tuba mutes are
scarce these days,
so why search
eBay when you can
easily bottle up
your tooting?

8. 7. Heavy-duty windchime
Just the thing during
hurricanes and
typhoons. And
beautiful to look at,
too, when winds and
gusts are under
70mph! Tunable
using either water or
cheap tequila.

9. 8. Ergonomic gardening stool
Balancing on this
stool lets your
body find its own
center of gravity,
reducing lumbar
pressure to reduce
skeletomuscular
pain.

10. 9. Home condom inflater
Inflating a condom
used to require the
services of a skilled
professional. Now
you can easily do it
at home! Just put a
little water in the
bottle, slip on the
condom, boil gently
in a pot and voilá!

11. 10. Never-fail flyswatter
100% effective
when correctly
applied.

12. Dedicated to
The Texas Tequila Queens
Copyright © 2014, Eric L. Reiss. All rights (and lefts) reserved.
(but who the hell would want to copy this anyway?)