Communication and Conversation

Start a Conversation
and Make Friends
BIBU(r) Better India Better US bibu.life@gmail.com http://www.linkedin.com/in/bibulife Tweet: @bibulife 2015-2016

Acknowledgments
 “How to Start a Conversation and Make
Friends” – Don Gabor
 “Ten Powerful Phrases for
Positive People” – Rich DeVos

Introducing Newer Topics to …
 Strangers
No previous judgments, no previous
opinions …
 Relatives
Exactly opposite to strangers

S-O-F-T-E-N Body Language
 Research shows that over half of face-to-
face conversation is nonverbal.
 S: Smile

 O: Open Arms

 F: Forward Lean

 T:Touch
START END

 E: Eye Contact

 N: Nod
However, a nod does
not necessarily mean
agreement.
If you want to be
sure someone
agrees with what
you’re saying, ask,
“Do you agree?”

Ways to Start Conversations
1. Make a positive or light-hearted
comment.
2. Ask a closed-ended or open-ended
question.
3. Offer a compliment followed by an
easy-to-answer question.
4. Introduce yourself.

RevealYour Goals
Reveal your goals and struggles.
◦ Most people empathize with you
and will usually be encouraging.
◦ They may assist you in some way.

5 Seconds to Remembering Names
 The first second:
◦ Focus on the moment of introduction.
 The second second:
◦ Don’t think about what to say – listen for the
name.
 The third second:
◦ Repeat the name aloud.
 The fourth second:
◦ Think of someone you know with the same
name.
 The fifth second:
◦ Use the name during and at the end of the
conversation.

Keep the Conversation Going
 Key Words
◦ People
◦ Places
◦ Things
◦ Other specific details that “paint pictures” for
the listener.

 Free Information
◦ Facts and details a speaker volunteers without
specifically being asked.
 Tip: Use free information to change
topics that are important to you.

 Common Interests
◦ Areas of mutual experience and involvement.

 Hot Buttons
◦ Try to find the really big events in a person’s
life – they create big enthusiasm in a person’s
life.

GettingYour Ideas Across
 Encourage Cooperation and Receptivity.
◦ Tell others the purpose of your conversation.
◦ Develop respect for others.

EndYour Conversation Gracefully
 Step 1: Restate something interesting
the other person said.
 Step 2: Say you enjoyed the chat.

EndYour Conversation Gracefully
 Step 3: (optional) Say,“let’s talk again
soon.”
 Step 4: Use the person’s name and say
goodbye.

50 Ways to ImproveYour
Conversations
1. Be the first to say hello.
2. Introduce yourself to others.
3. Take risks. Don’t anticipate rejection.
4. Display your sense of humor.
5. Be receptive to new ideas.
6. Make an extra effort to remember people’s names.
7. Ask a person’s name if you have forgotten it.
8. Show curiosity and interest in others.
9. Tell other people about the important events in your life.
10. Tell others about yourself, and what your likes are.
11. Show others that you are a good listener by restating their
comments in another manner.
12. Communicate enthusiasm and excitement about things and life in
general to those you meet.
13. Go out of your way to meet new people.

Conversations
14. Accept a person’s right to be an individual.
15. Show your sense of humor when talking to others.
16. Tell others what you do in a few short sentences.
17. Reintroduce yourself to someone who has forgotten your name.
18. Tell others something interesting or challenging about what you
do.
19. Be aware of open and closed body language.
20. Use eye contact and smiling as your first contact with people.
21. Greet people you see regularly.
22. Seek common interests, goals, and experiences in the people you
meet.
23. Make an effort to help people if you can.
24. Let others play the expert.
25. Be open to answering common ritual questions.
26. Get enthusiastic about other people’s interests.

Conversations
27. Balance the giving and receiving of information.
28. Be able to speak about a variety of topics and subjects.
29. Keep abreast of current events and the issues that affect all
of our lives.
30. Be open to other people’s opinions and feelings.
31. Express your feelings, opinions, and emotions to others.
32. Use “I” and reveal your feelings when you talk about
personal things.
33. Don’t use the word “you” when you mean “I”.
34. Show others that you are enjoying your conversations with
them.
35. Invite people to join you for dinner, social events, or other
activities for companionship.
36. Keep in touch with friends and acquaintances.

Conversations
37. Ask other people their opinions.
38. Look for the positive in those you meet.
39. Start and end your conversation with a person’s name and
a handshake or warm greeting.
40. Take time to be cordial with your neighbors and
coworkers.
41. Let others know that you want to get to know them
better.
42. Ask others about things they have told you in previous
conversations.
43. Listen carefully for free information.
44. Be tolerant of other people’s beliefs if they differ from
yours.
45. Change the topic of conversation when it has run its
course.

Conversations
46. Always search for another person’s “hot button”.
47. Compliment others about what they are wearing,
doing, or saying.
48. Encourage others to talk with you by sending out
receptivity signals.
49. Make an effort to see and talk to people you enjoy
and have fun with.
50. When you tell a story, present the main point first,
and then add the supporting details afterward.

Ten Powerful Phrases
1. “I’m wrong”
2. “I’m sorry”
3. “You can do it”
4. “I believe in you”
5. “I’m proud of you”

6. “Thank you”
7. “I need you”
8. “I trust you”
9. “I respect you”
10.“I love you”

 With the ten previous powerful phrases,
we can all make our homes, communities,
and world more positive places to live.
To have a friend,
you have to be a friend.

Communication and Conversation

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