Cooperative Discipline

Emily’s Bad Day A choose your own adventure guide to Cooperative Discipline Written By: Adam Authier

Meet Emily ,[object Object],Next --->

Today, Emily woke up in a silly mood. She was making faces during breakfast while her brothers were trying to eat. She is obviously seeking attention. Her behavior is not malicious, but it is irritating. Which intervention strategy would you like to try? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Good idea. However, refusing to respond to Emily, only reinforces this kind of behavior for her brothers. Do you want them making faces too? You’d better pick another strategy. ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Nice try. Unfortunately, Emily now thinks you are making facing too. When you give her “The Eye” - she gives it right back. Try again. ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Good choice. This intervention strategy has given Emily the attention she needs without further distracting or irritating her brothers. However the day is not over yet. Click the arrow to continue.

After breakfast, Emily wants to play with her doll for a while. Sadly, she has yet to pick up her blocks from yesterday. She can’t have her doll until she picks them up, which she is refusing to do, and it’s making you angry. Why? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Since you were angered by Emily’s actions, she is obviously not avoiding failure. Your attempt to intervene by modifying your instructional practices and providing tutoring on the subject have failed. So, what do you think? ,[object Object],[object Object]

You correctly gauged your anger and thought Emily may be seeking power. However, when you attempted to intervene the behavior intensified. She dumped out the rest of her blocks and knocked over her dollhouse. Now what? ,[object Object]

[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],Correct!

After lunch, you ask Emily to work on her letters and numbers. She is excited about starting pre-school next year, and you want to make sure she knows her stuff when she gets there. You leave her at the table, but return to find she hasn’t done much. She pretends to work and asks for your help, but hasn’t written anything yet. Why? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

If you believe that Emily was seeking power or revenge, it must mean that her actions made you angry or hurt. If her actions are met with your anger in this situation, the situation may escalate for no reason. Take a deep breath and try again. ,[object Object],[object Object]

Emily definitely appears to want your attention. However, she has now pretended to fall asleep at the table so you will leave her alone. There is something bigger at work here. What is it? ,[object Object],[object Object]

Good job. Your concern for your daughter’s perceived lack of understanding has led you to the correct conclusion - she is avoiding failure. By focusing on her past successes and making mistakes okay, she will climbing the academic ladder in no time. ,[object Object]

It’s finally Emily’s bed time. Before she can go to bed, Emily insists on finding the best pajamas, a suitable stuffed animal, and finding the Hannah Montana CD she likes to listen to. This process takes almost an hour. She be sleeping and you’re getting frustrated. What is she doing? She is seeking power She is avoiding failure She is seeking revenge She is seeking attention

Emily is not seeking your attention. She doesn’t even care if you’re in the room while she looks through her dresser and searches for her stuffed animal. Besides, you’re not annoyed by what she’s doing, you’re becoming increasingly angry and frustrated. ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],GET OUT OF MY ROOM!

How do you fail at sleeping? Do you really have professional concern that Emily doesn’t know how to sleep? C’mon. ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],?

You’re angry and Emily’s behavior does not seem like it’s going to stop just because you say so, but she is not seeking revenge. The situation has not reached an “eruption” stage. She is not lashing out, she’s simply stalling. ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Good job. Emily is seeking power. Only she decides when she goes to bed and she’s not tired. You can’t make her go to bed. Although at first you labeled her as “slow” and a “poor listener”, you have convinced her to go to sleep using the following interventions. ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Congratulations ,[object Object]

Cooperative Discipline

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