This document discusses how to distinguish between being "in-love" versus being "in-lust". It provides several signs that one may be in love such as constantly thinking about the other person and having to make adjustments to accommodate them. It also warns that lust is driven by passion alone while love is ruled by both passion and principles. The document encourages maintaining chastity and avoiding situations where passion could overtake principles. It provides tips for dealing with strong feelings such as diverting energy to creative pursuits and maintaining distance from the object of one's desires.
1. How To Know Your
“In-love” & Not
“In-lust”?
Alternative Natural Contraceptive Guide
only for the ladies & gentlemen who “finally”
decided to be chaste
by
Zara Jane Juan
2. Romantic Love
What is it?
How do you know your in-
love?
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 2
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
3. they say….
“He is constantly on your
thoughts and first on your
mind upon waking up and
last on your thoughts
before falling asleep”
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 3
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
4. they say….
“You can’t keep a silly
smile off your face
when thinking of that
person”
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 4
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
5. they say….
“You know you have to
make few adjustments
in your life just to
accommodate this
person”
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 5
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
6. they say….
“He/ She has
unlovable traits but
you love him/her
just the same”
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 6
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
7. they say….
“there has to be
a “kilig”
factor”
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 7
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
8. they say….
“Real love can be
proven by time”
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 8
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
9. they say….
“When putting the
best foot forward is
not anymore what
both of you do”
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 9
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
10. Most people find that the
cure for love sick is to
go…. let go…
let the feelings lead you
where you are going...
but this one is really
dangerous
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 10
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
11. The danger of
falling in love is to
give in totally to
passion dictated by
emotions
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 11
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
12. Love ruled by passion is not
in-love….
Being in-love is ruled not just
by passion but by principle…
Principle is you know what
you want and what you
don’t want!
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 12
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
13. If both of you are being
ruled only by passion
without principles….
You are not in-love…
You are Infatuated…
Infatuation fades
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 13
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
14. So slow down… …
Sexual Passion is moving
water in the stream…
It doesn’t have a mind of
its own.
Be careful!
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 14
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
15. If infatuation fades and
babies were created or
worst sickness were left
then you will be pressured
by the dictate of the
society…stress develops
afterwards.
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 15
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
16. To avoid the Penile-Vaginal
Insertion (PVI) give limits to
yourself and to your partner:
Declare the levels of physical
intimacy up to first degree
only…
Holding hands…
Lip kissing & Hugging
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 16
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
17. How to keep yourself SAFE?
Avoid being alone when you
are passionate with someone
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 17
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
19. Use your sensual passion to produce art
Write a Book
Learn to Paint
Dance to Your Desire
Sing w/ all Your Might
Keep your mind occupied w/ pure
thoughts & your body
will respond to it accordingly.
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 19
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
20. Talk it out…Lay all the facts, analyze,
itemize…
Talk your way out….Tell how
passionate you are to this person as
often as you can to release your
overflowing passion within
But Remember to tell it only to the one
you can trust… and who to trust?... No
one else but God.
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 20
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
21. Tell it to God!
Start the conversation with God
through prayers
Ask for healing… Ask for
guidance… Remember that
infatuation is not true love…
only God knows how to heal
it… Stay connected. Pray
meditatively.
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 21
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
22. ALWAYS CARRY A CROSS WITH
YOU IF YOU’RE A CATHOLIC…
FOR OTHER RELIGIONS,
ALWAYS CARRY ONE ITEM
IDENTIFIABLE TO YOUR
RELIGION
HOLD ON TO IT AND PRAY
HARD… WHENEVER YOUR
SEXUAL PASSION IS
OVERFLOWING
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 22
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
23. Do not expect instant healing
at once; overflowing sensual
passion is fatal sickness if not
cured. Healing will take time.
The first thing to do is to
know that your sick with it.
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 23
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
24. Ways to tamed down overflowing sensual
passion:
Eat Papaya everyday
Tire yourself...Walk! Go to the Gym!
Exercise!
Avoid chili foods & spices
Pray 18x a day or
Fill your day with complete schedule of
work with only lunch break and dinner
break as your rest in between
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 24
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
25. Maintain friendship to the
person whom you have an
infatuation
Sincere but distant;
Detached but concern;
Aloof but approachable
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 25
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
26. How to be SAFE from the person
you have strong sexual
vulnerability?
Maintain one meter apart by putting
things or “safe people” in between
Converse only on the phone to
reconcile your principles
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 26
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
27. If the person whom you have deep
infatuation is not concern with your
principles and doesn’t even care to respect
it…. But you still like the person just the
same…. Pray…
Just pray…
You will be guided… it is a big load of
problem that only God can solve… Don’t
trust yourself… leave it to God!
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 27
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
28. Do not try to find the same
level of sensual infatuation to
other people that you meet…
It is chemistry
Body’s reaction will depend
on elements
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 28
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
29. If you give in to sensual
passion once outside
marriage…. go and ask for
forgiveness to God.
Go to your priest, confess
your sin and ask for absolution
Wait and ask for God’s mercy
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 29
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
30. Chastity requires
conviction… first and
foremost, you must
believe that being chaste
is equivalent to human
complete civilization
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 30
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
31. Chastity defines our
higher state of mental,
emotional and
psychological difference
to our fellow co-creations
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 31
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
32. Working for our being in
achieving its full potential
and perfection requires
discipline of thoughts,
body, actions, reactions,
etc
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 32
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
33. Our body is sacred… if you’re a
believer it is God’s temple… so you
take care of your body
wholeheartedly in the same way
you take care of God…
If you’re a non-believer, you may
take the idea that your body is
worth your respect
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 33
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
34. Be Considerate. Take time to be sensitive to
the person’s needs. Sympathize, listen to the
needs without prejudice, empathize, feel the
needs but keep your virtues and find ways
how you can provide without sacrificing
and hurting your principles
Maintain the platonic friendship. Guard its
purity. Do not exploit your respect to the
person and your respect to yourself.
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 34
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
35. Remember:
There are no accidental meetings or
acquaintances.
The person whom you have deep passion is
your sheep at a lost.
Exhort.
Be responsible.
The person needs your help.
Be the shepherd not the sheep. Lead.
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 35
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
36. As a shepherd, be sensitive to
the needs of your sheep.
Search for wholesome events,
activities, meetings, people,
etc. for the person’s
fulfillment and social
development
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 36
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
37. If the person became aloof or indifferent,
guard yourself not to be offended while you
are in the process of analyzing how you can
help this person without compromising
your virtues and principles. Take time to
secure their emotions for they are very
insecure. Being self-oriented, they are
afraid to get hurt after experiencing
traumatic pain. Patience my dear, patience
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 37
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
38. Acknowledge the fact that you are
highly vulnerable and that you may fall
to someone. The problem is, if you are
not emotionally healed and matured
yet to handle the situation, the
experience will be traumatic. Be safe.
Wait. Pray for Discernment. If
doubtful, step back and take more time
to make everything absolute in your
heart and mind before you proceed.
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 38
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
39. Remember exposing ourselves to
individuals, groups of people,
activities, reading materials,
pictures, videos, etc that will lead
us to emotional vulnerability
….gives a warning signal to our
hypothalamus beforehand e.g we
feel uncomfortable…. If this
happens to you, get out right away!
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 39
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
40. Say “I’m out of here!” or “I
can’t do it!” is ok to guard
yourself against the dangers of
emotional vulnerability
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 40
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
41. Emotional vulnerability is like a
flue that will paralyze your whole
system for a while and will get
worst if not cured. Treatment is
relaxation away from the danger
zone. Calmness through deep
spiritual meditation and prayer. It
must be natural healing, wait for
the time
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 41
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
42. Remember to stay away from
loud and obnoxious people
because they are harmful to the
spirits. Continue praying in
silence, do not worry, God will
guide you how to solve your
emotional vulnerability
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 42
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
43. One cause of emotional vulnerability is
the weak family foundation during
your childhood. Do not compare your
emotional maturity to anybody because
each and every family is unique and
had undergone its own way of holding
the family’s foundation. Be intellectual,
analyze your childhood background to
understand why you are emotionally
vulnerable
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 43
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
44. Take note that all effects
has its cause…
it’s scientific!
Learn the law of nature
and deal with it
intellectually.
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 44
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
45. If you extend more time to analyze and
practice intellectual exercises, you are
teaching yourself to discipline your
own emotional vulnerability. In due
time, you will know the answers to
your problems. So enjoy detailing
everything down the line. Allot a time
for yourself to do this intellectual
dialogue alone with God.
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 45
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
46. Respect is the mediator between
two opposing sides that are
passionately connected.
If you can’t get the respect,
release the person right away to
avoid getting hurt. You can love
the person unconditionally from
afar. How to Know Your In-Love & Not 46
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
47. Remember: Consistency of your
actions will give you the respect
that you need. Be confident on the
virtues and principles that you
believe in. Do not adjust just to
please another fellow. Take care
of yourself. God loves you!
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 47
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
48. Romantic love is to
undergo the emotional, spiritual &
intellectual trainings day by
day…...
You’re like a soldier about to face
conflicts and keep in mind that
whatever happens in the end…
ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND
WAR!
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 48
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan
50. God had made two innocent people
in the most unexpected time to be
in-love and share their life together
no matter what the future holds, no
matter what the people say, no
matter what the dictate of society
states...People have the right to fall
in-love and every feeling of it is a
wonderful gift of Life. Amen.
How to Know Your In-Love & Not 50
In-Lust? by Zara Jane Juan