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Programming for Special Needs
  University of Winnipeg-Asia
      Graduate Program


                   By
              Shafaq Shafi
    Nakorn Payap International School
          Chaingmai Thailand
“ I see, hear and believe what I want. We are a product
     of our education and how we have been raised”

   Dr. Heinrich
     Hoffmann
“My cultural
  tale influences
  what I see, hear
  and believe.”

Cultural tales
   teach us to
    focus on
Kindness
Understanding
 Personality
  Curiosity
 Inspiration
   Respect
  Empathy
 Cooperation
 independence
It is easy to include the smart, powerful
and beautiful; it is quite another thing to
include those outside our circles
Flight Kid
     Regressive
     disengaged
         cry

          Connecting to the flight kid
               •Tell them you care
          •Ask, “how are you doing?”
 •Think about connection after the fact, after
           lunchtime, school, recess
  •Persistent-come back again and talk again
              •Give a task-redirect
•Pre-teach- there are safe places you can go to.
Fight Kid
Uses Physical violence to express emotion.
                Aggressive
                              Making Connections

                        •Say you have the right to show
                                       anger
                            •Acknowledge the anger
                          •Try to remove the audience
                        •Refrain from judging. Get rid of
                                      self talk.
                         •Do not talk about the solution
                                    right away.
Fool kid
       passive aggressive
ways/argue/confront/use sarcasm
                        Connections
                   • Honor his/her ability
               • Acknowledge and move on.
                Don’t take the hook. “Never let
                     them see you sweat”
                   • Engage in the banter
                      • Hear them out
                 • Praise, add humor, show
                   kindness, give away some
                             power
There is more going on than that
            meets the eye
Empower the kid in the process
Become a spark in the child’s eye
Be genuine and true
Be kind and caring
Set up a classroom where emotions
            are validated
Deviance and Deficit Psychology
Deviant          Delinquent     Disobedience
     Disordered            Deranged
                 Dysfunctional
Disrespectful         Demonic        Disabled
           Disturbed
Defective        Destructive         Diseased
                      Depressed
      Disruptive                Deprived
Strength based Psychology
           Autonomy               Achievement
                       Altruism
 Cooperation      Self control      Responsible
 Respectful       Resiliency        Empathetic
            Trust              Friendships

Assertive problem solver         Creative leader
Emotional intelligence
knowing one’s emotions, self awareness, recognize a feeling
                      as it happens
Being able to
 motivate one self
Being able to
 manage emotions
Being able to
 recognize emotions
 in others-empathy
Being able to create
 healthy relationships
Difference in Psychological Worlds
             Helping Humans     Hurting Humans
Perceiving   Diverse            Concrete
             Multidimensional   One dimensional
Thinking     Logical            Illogical
             Cognitively based  Omnipotent
                                Irrational traps
Feeling      Accepts and        Flooded
             applies controls Explosive
Behaving     Accepts            Hides or hurls
             Responsibility for Responsibility at
             behavior           others
Stress in Children’s Lives
 Understand the feelings/reasons behind
         inappropriate behavior
• Developmental
• Psychological
• Reality
• Physical
Emotional Defenses
• Denial-didn’t happen
• Regression-going back to a
  safer place
• Conversion-turn psychological
  stress into a physical stress
• Rationalization-talk      yourself
  out of it
• Displacement-displacing your
  stress on others
• Projection-take your stress and
  problems and give them to
  someone else
All behavior comes out of
        feelings/thoughts
React rather than respond
Conflict Cycle
Power Struggle or Emotional Reaction Cycle
                         Cycle begins again             A stressful
                         but increases in                situation
                         intensity                        occurs




              Creates
                                                                 Creates feeling affected
            additional
                                                                  by the child’s sense of
            stress for
                                                                           self
             the child




          Adults begin to mirror the                      Coping/negative behavior:
         child’s feelings: demanding,                      lying, cheating, hitting,
          scolding, yelling, swearing                       swearing, rationalizing

                                           Creates
                                         stress in an
                                            adult
Breaking the conflict cycle
• Know that adults should take
  responsibility to disengage
• Be in touch with your own feelings
• Understand how a child’s behavior
  can be mirrored
• Verbalize messages using “I”
  instead of “You”
• Understand the feelings / reasons
  behind inappropriate behavior
• Be aware of the emotional
  defenses humans use
• Know the child and know yourself
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help
• Feelings are OK when you have
  them. Don’t be had by them
Why Humans become Counter Aggressive
 Caught in the      40%    Nick Long and Life Space Intervention
 conflict cycle
  Violation of      25%
cherished hopes
  and beliefs
 Being in a bad     10%
     mood
   Exposing our     10%
finished business
  Not meeting       5%
  professional
  expectations
   Feeling of       5%
  helplessness
  Prejudging a      5%
troubled student
Be in touch with your own feelings
          Emotional Intelligence
• Knowing one’s emotion,
  self awareness, recognizing
  a feeling as it happens
• Being able to recognize
  emotions in others;
  empathy
• Being able to create healthy
  relationships
• Being able to motivates
  one’s self
• Ability to manage our
  emotions
Verbalize messages using “I” instead of
               “You”




  Use “I” messages instead of “you” messages
  “I feel … when you… because...”
The question is not what is wrong with you? It is what
 has happened to you or what has happened to your
                       brain?
The brain is built for 3 tasks
• Reacting
• Valuing
• Thinking( takes longest to
  develop)


Repetition is a way of
 effective learning
•   Largest & complex organ
                                      Brain
•   100 billion nerves, trillions of connections –synapses
•   Outer most layer-cortex-thinking & voluntary
    movements
•   Brain stem between the spinal cord & the rest part of
    the brain. Breathing & sleep controlled here.
•   Cerebellum –base & back of the brain-coordination &
    balance
•   Frontal lobe-problem solving & motor function
•   Parietal lobes-sensation, handwriting & body position

    The brain is also divided into several lobes:
    • The frontal lobes are responsible for problem solving
    and      judgment          and      motor       function.
    • The temporal lobes- memory and hearing.
    • The occipital lobes - visual processing system.
•   Meninges- surrounding layer of tissue
•   The skull (cranium) protects the brain from injury.
Understanding the Brain and
                Intelligence
• Fluid intelligence is the ability to solve new problems. It
  employs short term memory and focused attention
• Crystallized intelligence grows with wisdom gained
  over a lifetime
• Learning involves connections in networks of neurons
• Hippocampus: a piece in our brain that sorts important
  information
• Teen brains crave novelty and excitement. Without
  mature mentors, they become prisoners addicted to
  high risk pleasure (Raymond Cattell 1987)
• Neuroplasticity is the brains ability to change when
  faced with new problems
Trauma
The moment someone sees an emotion
expressed on your face, they will at once sense
that on themselves
Three Pillars of Trauma Informed Care
                      • Safety
           • Connections – relationships
 • Self regulation – teaching skills to control anger
             Co-regulation                  Coercive regulation

      Goal- help the child to calm        Goal -stop bad behavior

      Soothing and assertive tone        Loud and aggressive tone

      Absorb the child’s outburst       Retaliate to child’s outbursts

        Focus on child’s feelings       Focus on the child’s behavior
                                                                     •     Ad
     Attention to the child’s need        Ignore the child’s needs

     Adult is aware of own feelings   Adult is oblivious to own feelings
The only person you can control…the only
person you can truly motivate is yourself
       Discipline                  Punishment
        Proactive                     reactive
  Natural consequences            Arbitrary, adult
                              consequences imposed
Social responsibility taught Obedience to authority
                                       figures
  Control through inner      Control by external rule &
           values                      threat
 Psychological & physical     Psychological & physical
 punishment is not used         punishment is used
Fair doesn’t mean you treat everybody equally.
  Fair means getting everybody’s needs met
Sandwich Scripts
• Enclosing a criticism between two
  positive comments
• Positive Comment: “You take very
  good
• care of your things.”
• Constructive criticism: “ Perhaps you
• could be more organized before class
• so you do not have to get up out of
• your chair so many times during
  class.”
• Positive Comment: “ You are such a
  quick learner, I could teach you how
  to do this in no time.”
What do children & youth need to become good
          people and live a good life

          love         understanding
The A. Maslow Model
  Self actualization                              Self respect

                      Belonging/affection

                                                 Physiological
  Safety & security
                                                    needs
A. Maslow wrote about a ‘peak experience” an event that happens in your life where
you have an overwhelming sense of the rightness of something, it is not a planned
experience.
The William Glaser
Model


   Love
   Fun
   Safety
   Freedom
   power
Stanley Coppersmith Model
 The Antecedents of Self-
          Esteem

 Significance
 Competence
 Power
 virtue
Developmental assets from the search
        institute - resiliency
External assets                    Internal assets
• Support: family, positive        •   Commitment to learning
                                   •   Positive values
  communication, other adult
                                   •   Positive identity
  relationships, caring            •   Social competencies: Planning and
  neighborhood, caring school          decision making; young person knows
  climate, parental involvement        how to plan ahead and make choices.
                                       Interpersonal competence; young
  in school                            person has empathy, sensitivity and
                                       friendship skills. Cultural competence.
• Empowerment: community               Resistance skills; young person can
  values youth, youth resources,       resist negative peer pressure and
                                       dangerous situations.
  service to others, safety            Peaceful conflict resolution; young
• Boundaries and expectations          person seeks to resolve conflict
                                       nonviolently
• Constructive use of time
Bonnie Bernard
Steve &
Sybil Wolin
Empowerment
Community values
youth
 youth resources
Service to others
Safety
Try not to become a
man of success but a
man of value. – Albert
Einstein
Five elements necessary for the
    ultimate human goal of well being
                  (Martin Seligman)

•   Positive emotion: happiness and life satisfaction
•   Positive relationships: other people are important
•   Meaning: serving something more than yourself
•   Accomplishment: achievement
•   Engagement: were you completely absorbed in the
    task?
Talk first about the good things &
  then talk about the concerns
The Circle of Courage

     generosity     belonging


     independence    mastery
Values: Circle of Courage
• Attachment or belonging – Relationships (we
  don’t heal separated from others)
• Achievement or mastery – “I can… (improve,
  figure things out for myself)”
• Altruism or generosity – Give back (the ability
  to do good things)
• Autonym or independence – Empower
Suggestions why children misbehave
• Relationship problems (belonging): alienation
• Feelings of inadequacy (mastery): failure
• Loss/lack of power (independence):
  helplessness
• Problems with purpose (generosity):
  selfishness
Belonging
   • Attachment
   • Friendship
   • Intimacy
   • Co-operation
   • Trust
Allegiance is not the same as
         belonging
When belonging is absent or
          distorted
Relationship problems
Gang involvement
Promiscuity
Withdrawn
Alienated
Rejected
Mastery

 Achievement
  Successful
Problem solver
   Creative
   Resilient
  motivated
• Nicholas Hobbs-we
  learn best at the
  edge of success and
  failure
• Mary Pipher-school
  failure hurts self
  esteem
• Praise not the
  product but the
  effort
When mastery is absent or
distorted:
                  • Feel stupid, avoid risks,
                    failure oriented, learned
                    helplessness, boredom,
                    learning          passion
                    ignored, gives up easily
                  • Labeling: lazy, attitude
                    problem, doesn’t work
                    to potential
                  • School failure hurts self
                    esteem
                  • Cheating
Independence
       • Responsible
       • Self control
       • Autonomy
       • Assertiveness
       • Leadership
You can’t teach children real
responsibility until you give them real
             responsibility
When independence is absent or
distorted
               •   Rebellious
               •   Manipulative
               •   Reckless
               •   Lacks confidence
               •   Easily misled
               •   Irresponsible
Generosity
       • Altruism
       • Caring
       • Compassionate
       • Unselfish
       • Empathetic
When generosity is absent or distorted

• Narcissistic
• Psychopathic
• Anti social
• Overindulgent
• Self helping
Managing Behavior
• Planned ignoring: not paying attention to things that don’t
  matter
• Proximity control: move into the child’s space in respectful
  ways
• Signal inference: cue the child
• Redirection: find something new to focus on
• Support from routine: security in routine
• Support from restructuring: motivation through creative
  effort
• Direct appeal to values: state the value; ask the child for co-
  operation
• Support through humor: laughter is good medicine

                      (From Life Space Crisis Intervention, Nick Long and others)
values don’t happen
  they have to be
      taught

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Programming for special needs my presentation

  • 1. Programming for Special Needs University of Winnipeg-Asia Graduate Program By Shafaq Shafi Nakorn Payap International School Chaingmai Thailand
  • 2. “ I see, hear and believe what I want. We are a product of our education and how we have been raised” Dr. Heinrich Hoffmann “My cultural tale influences what I see, hear and believe.” Cultural tales teach us to focus on
  • 3. Kindness Understanding Personality Curiosity Inspiration Respect Empathy Cooperation  independence
  • 4. It is easy to include the smart, powerful and beautiful; it is quite another thing to include those outside our circles
  • 5. Flight Kid Regressive disengaged cry Connecting to the flight kid •Tell them you care •Ask, “how are you doing?” •Think about connection after the fact, after lunchtime, school, recess •Persistent-come back again and talk again •Give a task-redirect •Pre-teach- there are safe places you can go to.
  • 6. Fight Kid Uses Physical violence to express emotion. Aggressive Making Connections •Say you have the right to show anger •Acknowledge the anger •Try to remove the audience •Refrain from judging. Get rid of self talk. •Do not talk about the solution right away.
  • 7. Fool kid passive aggressive ways/argue/confront/use sarcasm Connections • Honor his/her ability • Acknowledge and move on. Don’t take the hook. “Never let them see you sweat” • Engage in the banter • Hear them out • Praise, add humor, show kindness, give away some power
  • 8. There is more going on than that meets the eye Empower the kid in the process Become a spark in the child’s eye Be genuine and true Be kind and caring
  • 9. Set up a classroom where emotions are validated
  • 10.
  • 11. Deviance and Deficit Psychology Deviant Delinquent Disobedience Disordered Deranged Dysfunctional Disrespectful Demonic Disabled Disturbed Defective Destructive Diseased Depressed Disruptive Deprived
  • 12. Strength based Psychology Autonomy Achievement Altruism Cooperation Self control Responsible Respectful Resiliency Empathetic Trust Friendships Assertive problem solver Creative leader
  • 13. Emotional intelligence knowing one’s emotions, self awareness, recognize a feeling as it happens Being able to motivate one self Being able to manage emotions Being able to recognize emotions in others-empathy Being able to create healthy relationships
  • 14. Difference in Psychological Worlds Helping Humans Hurting Humans Perceiving Diverse Concrete Multidimensional One dimensional Thinking Logical Illogical Cognitively based Omnipotent Irrational traps Feeling Accepts and Flooded applies controls Explosive Behaving Accepts Hides or hurls Responsibility for Responsibility at behavior others
  • 15. Stress in Children’s Lives Understand the feelings/reasons behind inappropriate behavior • Developmental • Psychological • Reality • Physical
  • 16. Emotional Defenses • Denial-didn’t happen • Regression-going back to a safer place • Conversion-turn psychological stress into a physical stress • Rationalization-talk yourself out of it • Displacement-displacing your stress on others • Projection-take your stress and problems and give them to someone else
  • 17. All behavior comes out of feelings/thoughts React rather than respond
  • 18. Conflict Cycle Power Struggle or Emotional Reaction Cycle Cycle begins again A stressful but increases in situation intensity occurs Creates Creates feeling affected additional by the child’s sense of stress for self the child Adults begin to mirror the Coping/negative behavior: child’s feelings: demanding, lying, cheating, hitting, scolding, yelling, swearing swearing, rationalizing Creates stress in an adult
  • 19. Breaking the conflict cycle • Know that adults should take responsibility to disengage • Be in touch with your own feelings • Understand how a child’s behavior can be mirrored • Verbalize messages using “I” instead of “You” • Understand the feelings / reasons behind inappropriate behavior • Be aware of the emotional defenses humans use • Know the child and know yourself • Don’t be afraid to ask for help • Feelings are OK when you have them. Don’t be had by them
  • 20.
  • 21. Why Humans become Counter Aggressive Caught in the 40% Nick Long and Life Space Intervention conflict cycle Violation of 25% cherished hopes and beliefs Being in a bad 10% mood Exposing our 10% finished business Not meeting 5% professional expectations Feeling of 5% helplessness Prejudging a 5% troubled student
  • 22. Be in touch with your own feelings Emotional Intelligence • Knowing one’s emotion, self awareness, recognizing a feeling as it happens • Being able to recognize emotions in others; empathy • Being able to create healthy relationships • Being able to motivates one’s self • Ability to manage our emotions
  • 23. Verbalize messages using “I” instead of “You” Use “I” messages instead of “you” messages “I feel … when you… because...”
  • 24. The question is not what is wrong with you? It is what has happened to you or what has happened to your brain? The brain is built for 3 tasks • Reacting • Valuing • Thinking( takes longest to develop) Repetition is a way of effective learning
  • 25. Largest & complex organ Brain • 100 billion nerves, trillions of connections –synapses • Outer most layer-cortex-thinking & voluntary movements • Brain stem between the spinal cord & the rest part of the brain. Breathing & sleep controlled here. • Cerebellum –base & back of the brain-coordination & balance • Frontal lobe-problem solving & motor function • Parietal lobes-sensation, handwriting & body position The brain is also divided into several lobes: • The frontal lobes are responsible for problem solving and judgment and motor function. • The temporal lobes- memory and hearing. • The occipital lobes - visual processing system. • Meninges- surrounding layer of tissue • The skull (cranium) protects the brain from injury.
  • 26. Understanding the Brain and Intelligence • Fluid intelligence is the ability to solve new problems. It employs short term memory and focused attention • Crystallized intelligence grows with wisdom gained over a lifetime • Learning involves connections in networks of neurons • Hippocampus: a piece in our brain that sorts important information • Teen brains crave novelty and excitement. Without mature mentors, they become prisoners addicted to high risk pleasure (Raymond Cattell 1987) • Neuroplasticity is the brains ability to change when faced with new problems
  • 28. The moment someone sees an emotion expressed on your face, they will at once sense that on themselves
  • 29. Three Pillars of Trauma Informed Care • Safety • Connections – relationships • Self regulation – teaching skills to control anger Co-regulation Coercive regulation Goal- help the child to calm Goal -stop bad behavior Soothing and assertive tone Loud and aggressive tone Absorb the child’s outburst Retaliate to child’s outbursts Focus on child’s feelings Focus on the child’s behavior • Ad Attention to the child’s need Ignore the child’s needs Adult is aware of own feelings Adult is oblivious to own feelings
  • 30. The only person you can control…the only person you can truly motivate is yourself Discipline Punishment Proactive reactive Natural consequences Arbitrary, adult consequences imposed Social responsibility taught Obedience to authority figures Control through inner Control by external rule & values threat Psychological & physical Psychological & physical punishment is not used punishment is used
  • 31. Fair doesn’t mean you treat everybody equally. Fair means getting everybody’s needs met
  • 32. Sandwich Scripts • Enclosing a criticism between two positive comments • Positive Comment: “You take very good • care of your things.” • Constructive criticism: “ Perhaps you • could be more organized before class • so you do not have to get up out of • your chair so many times during class.” • Positive Comment: “ You are such a quick learner, I could teach you how to do this in no time.”
  • 33. What do children & youth need to become good people and live a good life love understanding
  • 34. The A. Maslow Model Self actualization Self respect Belonging/affection Physiological Safety & security needs A. Maslow wrote about a ‘peak experience” an event that happens in your life where you have an overwhelming sense of the rightness of something, it is not a planned experience.
  • 35. The William Glaser Model Love Fun Safety Freedom power
  • 36. Stanley Coppersmith Model The Antecedents of Self- Esteem  Significance  Competence  Power  virtue
  • 37. Developmental assets from the search institute - resiliency External assets Internal assets • Support: family, positive • Commitment to learning • Positive values communication, other adult • Positive identity relationships, caring • Social competencies: Planning and neighborhood, caring school decision making; young person knows climate, parental involvement how to plan ahead and make choices. Interpersonal competence; young in school person has empathy, sensitivity and friendship skills. Cultural competence. • Empowerment: community Resistance skills; young person can values youth, youth resources, resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations. service to others, safety Peaceful conflict resolution; young • Boundaries and expectations person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently • Constructive use of time
  • 39. Empowerment Community values youth  youth resources Service to others Safety Try not to become a man of success but a man of value. – Albert Einstein
  • 40. Five elements necessary for the ultimate human goal of well being (Martin Seligman) • Positive emotion: happiness and life satisfaction • Positive relationships: other people are important • Meaning: serving something more than yourself • Accomplishment: achievement • Engagement: were you completely absorbed in the task?
  • 41. Talk first about the good things & then talk about the concerns
  • 42. The Circle of Courage generosity belonging independence mastery
  • 43. Values: Circle of Courage • Attachment or belonging – Relationships (we don’t heal separated from others) • Achievement or mastery – “I can… (improve, figure things out for myself)” • Altruism or generosity – Give back (the ability to do good things) • Autonym or independence – Empower
  • 44. Suggestions why children misbehave • Relationship problems (belonging): alienation • Feelings of inadequacy (mastery): failure • Loss/lack of power (independence): helplessness • Problems with purpose (generosity): selfishness
  • 45. Belonging • Attachment • Friendship • Intimacy • Co-operation • Trust
  • 46. Allegiance is not the same as belonging
  • 47. When belonging is absent or distorted Relationship problems Gang involvement Promiscuity Withdrawn Alienated Rejected
  • 48. Mastery Achievement Successful Problem solver Creative Resilient motivated
  • 49. • Nicholas Hobbs-we learn best at the edge of success and failure • Mary Pipher-school failure hurts self esteem • Praise not the product but the effort
  • 50. When mastery is absent or distorted: • Feel stupid, avoid risks, failure oriented, learned helplessness, boredom, learning passion ignored, gives up easily • Labeling: lazy, attitude problem, doesn’t work to potential • School failure hurts self esteem • Cheating
  • 51. Independence • Responsible • Self control • Autonomy • Assertiveness • Leadership
  • 52. You can’t teach children real responsibility until you give them real responsibility
  • 53. When independence is absent or distorted • Rebellious • Manipulative • Reckless • Lacks confidence • Easily misled • Irresponsible
  • 54. Generosity • Altruism • Caring • Compassionate • Unselfish • Empathetic
  • 55. When generosity is absent or distorted • Narcissistic • Psychopathic • Anti social • Overindulgent • Self helping
  • 56. Managing Behavior • Planned ignoring: not paying attention to things that don’t matter • Proximity control: move into the child’s space in respectful ways • Signal inference: cue the child • Redirection: find something new to focus on • Support from routine: security in routine • Support from restructuring: motivation through creative effort • Direct appeal to values: state the value; ask the child for co- operation • Support through humor: laughter is good medicine (From Life Space Crisis Intervention, Nick Long and others)
  • 57. values don’t happen they have to be taught

Hinweis der Redaktion

  1. We must look on children in need not as problems but as individuals with potential to share if they were given the opportunity. Each child is precious and there is some goodness and we have to find ways to draw that out.
  2. Story telling is an integral part of every childhood. I come from northern part of India; and in my childhood days we often used to have power cutoffs. My cousins and me used to gather around our Grandma who used to tells us stories which I sometimes share with my own children. A very simple way of teaching values indeed. I still remember my dad –”As you sow so shall you reap”. I still value this and would want to pass it on to my own children as well as my students at school.
  3. What do you want from your Life? What do you want to do with your life? You only live once, so make the most of it. Everybody lives for themselves, only a few make a difference for others.
  4. To have a family and friends at school or work gives one a sense of belonging. However not everyone is fortunate. Some do get alienated due to numerous circumstances and are labeled as unfriendly, aggressive, anxious, attention disordered or affectionless, unmotivated and unteachable.
  5. To meet the needs of youth at risk, one must be clear about both the nature of alienation and its locus in the life span of the child.(Reclaiming youth at risk)When the basic needs of a child are not met they learn that the adults are unpredictable or unreliable and they view even the friendly and helpful adults with distrust. They develop difficulties in social and emotional adjustments. They become mentally ill, feel depressed and defeated.
  6. The modern society is creating a growing number of children at risk for relationship impairments. There are numerous homeless children ,children without belongings, that are mistreated, abandoned and rejected. Rousseau(28 June 1712 – 2 July 1778) was a  Genevan philosopher, writer, and composer of 18th-century.  His philosophy influenced the French Revolution  and the overall development of modern political, sociological and educational thought. “There are no longer fathers, mothers, children, brothers or sisters. Each thinks for himself. When the home becomes a sad place of isolation, people look for comfort and relationships beyond and sometimes they end up with other outcast or unclaimed youth.
  7. We as educational professionals should be skillful at building relationships with difficult youth. There has to be an to putting blame on the home and parents. The children should have the freedom to express their emotions and taught ways to manage them. School should be a place for such youth where they can find peace within themselves and the environment surrounding them.
  8. The D words used to describe the people whose behavior deviates from what their society consider acceptable. Abnormal behavior usually involves a deviation from social norms rather than an illness.
  9. In 1998 Martin Seligman and MihalyCsikszentmihalyi proposed Positive Psychology: "We believe that a psychology of positive human functioning will arise, which achieves a scientific understanding and effective interventions to build thriving in individuals, families, and communities”. Positive psychology’s prime focus is to find and nurture genius and talent, make life more fulfilling and not simply to treat mental illness.
  10. Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions. Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer have been the leading researchers on emotional intelligence since 1990. In their influential article "Emotional Intelligence," they defined emotional intelligence as, "the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions" (1990).Salovey and Mayer identified four different factors of emotional intelligence: the perception of emotion, the ability to reason using emotions, the ability to understand emotion and the ability to manage emotions.Perceiving Emotions:  is to accurately perceive emotions. This also involves understanding nonverbal signals like body language and facial expressions.Reasoning With Emotions: Is to promote thinking and cognitive activity.Understanding Emotions: The emotions one perceives can have a wide variety of meanings. If someone is expressing angry emotions, the observer must interpret the cause of their anger and what it might mean.Managing Emotions: Managing emotions effectively is a key part of emotional intelligence. Regulating emotions, responding appropriately and responding to the emotions of others are all important aspect of emotional management.
  11. Emotions are the life blood and there is no life living without emotions. People’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors are influenced by presence of others.
  12. The demands placed on us and the ability to meet them is stress which can affect anyone who feels overwhelmed-even kids. Stress in children can be due to over scheduled activities, what’s happening in their own lives, disturbing events shown on TV. Short term behavioral changes in sleep patterns, bedwetting, stomachaches, headaches, trouble concentrating or completing school work can be indicators of stress.
  13. Some children who are coping with stress can become withdrawn and spend time alone. They can pick new habits-thumb sucking, nose picking, hair twirling, lie, bully and defy adult authority. They can have nightmares, separation anxiety, over react to minor problems and there can be changes in academic performance.
  14. If we want to know what is happening then the way to do it is to figure out what processes are actually going on in their minds. We tend to ignore the personalexperiences that people have. We fail to account for the influence of the environment on behavior.Talking about what may be causing their behavior or when they can't or won't discuss their issues, we should try talking about our own. This shows that we are willing to tackle tough topics and are available to talk to them with when they're ready.
  15. Before initiating conflict management or prevention measures it is important to understand the actual occurrence of conflict thus making it of prime importance.The body and face language let us know when a student is emotionally overwhelmed and the behavior interferes with learning and their behavior is hurtful to others.So what is the role of adults/professionals?The first step should be to respond to the anger and then give directives.We should design plans anticipating problems and work towards keeping the kids safe until they can keep themselves safe.
  16. Emotional Intelligence is being “Heart Smart”. It helps you build strong relationships, succeed at work, and achieve your goals and can be developed throughout one’s life.
  17. In a "You-message," the target is the person and we often end up making judgments about that person. Sometimes the people are tagged with labels. But withI-messages we simply state a problem, without putting the blame on someone. This helps solve the problem, without admitting who or what was wrong.What does an I-Message do?An I-message:1. Is helpful in changing the behavior of another person demonstrating an unacceptable behavior. 2. Protects the self esteem of the other person. 3. Helps form stronger bonds
  18. Trauma is associated with the reacting or survival brain – amygdala reads emotional cues to separate friend from foeSimple trauma is one overwhelming eventComplex trauma is on going exposure to fear and helplessnessCauses include: neglect, family conflict, unsupportive care giver, homelessness, violence, age segregation, poverty, privilege, racism, bigotry, addiction, abuseSymptoms include: inattention, impulsiveness, irritability, anger frustration, moodiness and fear Primary impact of traumatic stress is a breakdown in the capacity to regulate internal stasis like fear anger or sexual impulses
  19. Emotions are what we feel-our feelings. We feel emotion when we associate with people and events. We feel emotions in our body as tingles, hot spots and muscular tension. Emotions cause us to want and not want. Emotions area part of our mood and affects our judgments and decision making.
  20. Traumatic experiences upset and distress us. People have different reactions and vary at coping up with what has happened. Bottling up your feelings does not help, so talk about your feelings and don’t be embarrassed about them.
  21. Motivation is the desire to do things. It’s very crucial in setting and attaining goals.Discipline helps children learn to control their behavior and they act on what they perceive is right or wrong. The children learn that there are consequences to what they do or how they act. It’s called learning the hard way.Punishment teaches a child to use violence to solve problems and kills self esteem. It makes the child hate himself and others.
  22. A positive way to discipline a child by focusing both on the strengths and the problem.
  23. A Theory of Human Motivation by Abraham Maslow in 1943 proposed that terms like Physiological, Safety, Belongingness and love, esteem and self actualization are patterns of motivation that a human moves through. He studied the healthiest student population and likes of Albert Einstein rather than mentally ill people. He quoted “The study of crippled, stunned, immature and unhealthy specimens can yield only a crippled psychology and crippled philosophy.”Physiological needs are the requirements for human survival, without which the body cannot function.Safety needs include personal and financial security, health and well being.Self actualization is realizing one’s potential and what one can be and must be.
  24. William Glaser is the developer of reality therapy and choice theory. His main focus are personal choice, responsibility and personal transformation. A person is in control of his/her own behavior and long lasting psychological problems are related to relationships.We are born with 5 ‘genetically encoded needs – survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. These vary in strength from person to person. Our brains constantly monitor whether these needs are being satisfied or not. Our pain drives us to find a way to feel better. Glaser believes the need to love and to belong is the primary need. (source-REALITY THERAPY: William Glaser)
  25. In this world each person has an ability to do something no matter big or small and the right to win the world. To attain equality one should strengthen oneself as an individual. Parents teach an individual of their worth which is reinforced by others. A child models the respect and the worthiness of self as they see in their parents.
  26. The capacity to rise above adversity and to forge lasting strengths in the struggle. It is the means by which children/adults can rebound from hardship and emerge as strong, healthy individuals, able to lead gratifying lives, albeit with some scars to show for their experiences. Stephen and Sybil WolinFamily support provides high levels of love and support. Caring adults, caring neighborhood, caring school climate, positive communication all instill a strong sense of independence, sense of personal power, self esteem, self discipline and strive for success and achievement.
  27. Empowerment is the process of increasing the capacity of individuals or groups to make choices and to transform those choices into desired actions and outcomes. To increase the spiritual, political, social, educational ,gender or economic strength of individuals and communities.
  28. In today’s society success –wealth and power are the pre-eminent values. To find a value that is appropriate for youth at risk, Traditional Native American child rearing philosophies provide a powerful alternative. Little is known about this 15,000 years old traditional knowledge. Native American philosophies of child management which emerged from cultures with a central purpose of education and empowerment seems to be the most effective system of positive discipline. Self esteem which is fostered by sense of self worth is a primary goal in socializing children. The 4 components of self esteem as proposed by Stanley Coopersmith are significance, competence, power and virtue. George Blue Bird an artist from Lakota Sioux portrayed this philosophy of child development in the medicine wheel in which belonging, mastery, independence and generosity are the central values which do not only belong to Native people but are for the world’s children.
  29. In traditional Native society, it was the duty of all adults to serve as teachers for younger persons. The sense of belonging extended to nature as well. Children were taught through stories that everything in nature was interdependent and if this harmony was disturbed it would result in tragedies and disasters.
  30. A student who demonstrates belonging includes others, helps people feel safe and respects people for who they are.
  31. The goal of native education was to develop cognitive, physical, social and spiritual competence. When a child’s need to be competent is satisfied, motivation for further achievement is enhanced. A student who demonstrates mastery completes a task without giving up, believes that practice makes it perfect and sets goals and strives to achieve them.
  32. Learning is social-we learn when we use one another. when we have the chance to be with one another.
  33. Traditional Native culture placed a high value on individual freedom. Survival outside the camp circle depended upon making independent decisions and the training began in early childhood.A student who is independent takes responsibility for his/her actions, knows how actions impact the self and environment and is responsible and positive leader.
  34. Children in Native cultures often sat in a circle while an older person talked to them of what was ahead as they became adults and what they should do to live good lives. Children were instructed to always share generously without holding back.A student who is generous does something good and does not expect anything in return and helps or teaches others.
  35. Managing behavior is not changing behavior. This includes simple things which will keep the classroom environment safe and comfortable.