3. Level of Formality
Formal
• Intercompany
• Interdepartment
• Apologizing Informal?
• Negotiating
• Intradepartment
• The First E-Mail
• Personal E-Mails
• Confirming a meeting
4. Formal English
• I want… • I would like…
• I want to ask… • I would like to
inquire…
• Please (do • Please don’t
something)… hesitate to (do
• I am sorry… something)…
• I deeply regret…
• I want to tell
• I would like to
you… inform you…
• Goodbye. • Kind Regards…
5. Formal English: Set Phrases
Apologizing
Apologizing
• “I’m sorry…”
“I’m sorry…”
“I’m afraid that…”
• “I’m afraid that…”
“We appreciate your understanding.”
• “We haveyour questions, please understanding.”us”.
“Know that
“If you
appreciate yourvaluable to us.” to contact
any
business is very
don’t hesitate
• “Know that your business is very valuable to
us.”
• “If you have any questions, please don’t
hesitate to contact us”.
6. Formal English: Set Phrases
Requesting
• “I would be extremely grateful if…”
• “Could you possibly…”
• “Would you mind if we set aside a time to
possibly meet face-to-face?”
8. Formal English: Practice
SUBJECT: With regards to your May 5th order
Mr. Smith,
We are sorry to inform you that your order was not filled on time. I am afraid that the
shipment was caught up in our warehouse.
If you would like any more information, please don’t hesitate to contact us. Again, we regret
any trouble this may have caused you. If you need compensation, we don’t mind helping
you in any way. We appreciate your understanding and know that your business is very
valuable to us.
Kind Regards,
Christopher Thomas
10. Differences: E-Mail vs. Written
E-Mail
• Less Formal
• Greetings (when to use what) Written
• No Return Address Needed • More Formal
• KISS! • Dear…
• Informal letters very informal! • Return Address Needed
• Longer is ok.
• Always written language.
11. E-Mail Practice
• Trevor Linden (DoS of the Vancouver English
Centre is writing an email to Rukshana
Engineer of the Canadians In Iran Visa
Services Ltd. He wants to know the following:
General Info about traveling in Iran for
Canadian families
The traveling is during Ramadan
There will be 3 adults and 2 children
traveling
They want to leave before Jul 31st
• How should the Email look?
12. E-Mail Practice: Sample 1
To whom it may concern,
I would like to inquire about visa services that you can offer Canadian families travelling to
Iran during Ramadan. Total there would be 3 adults and 2 children hoping to leave by July
31st.
Thank you for your prompt reply,
Trevor Linden
Director of Studies
Vancouver English Centre
www.vec.ca
604-856-3324
13. E-Mail Practice: Reply 1
Hello Mr. Linden,
We offer a wide range of services for Canadians travelling to the Middle East. We can not only help you through the visa
process, but also provide you with travel arrangements as well.
If your plan on staying for less than one month the visa process is quite simple. For family stays longer than a month, Iran
requires marriage certificates and proof of employment from your native country. Children applications for stays more than
an moth can also be a bit complex.
For general information, you can visit here: www.canadiansiniran.com/visa/overview
Application forms can be downloaded here: www.canadiansiniran.com/visa/documents
Feel free to contact us at anytime – I am sure we can provide you with what you need.
Best Regards,
Rukshana Engineer
Canadians In Iran Visa Services
www.canadiansiniran.com
Vancouver: 001-604-853-2352
Iran: 011-98-21-2365-5664
14. E-Mail Practice: Sample 2
Hi Rukshana,
Thank you for pointing us in the right direction. However, there seems to be some things that I am still not quite clear
on. Perhaps you can walk me through this. The visas I am looking for are for a teacher at my school. She will not only
be going to have her family experience Ramadan in Iran, but also to give a lecture at a few local Universities in Tehran.
We seem to understand the process for the children, but for her, her husband, and her sister, it seems a bit complex.
For our teacher, Dorri Aziz, she is worried that she will not to be able to legally lecture unless she is on a full working
visa, not a business visa as your website suggests. Also, her sister would like to get a tourist visa only as she will be go
home earlier than the rest – she is going for a vacation, not on business as Dorri is. Will Dorri still be responsible for
her sister if she gets a tourist visa instead of being on the family business visa? Lastly, Dorri has a German Sheppard.
Can she bring the dog with her?
Thank you in advance for your help,
Trevor
15. E-Mail Practice: Reply 2
Hi again Trevor,
Please find our answers to your questions below in red:
For our teacher, Dorri Aziz, she is worried that she will not to be able to legally lecture unless she is on a full working visa, not a business visa as your website suggests.
If Dorri will be paid by the local universities , then yes a working visa will be required. However, if she is working under a contract from your school, is paid by your school in Canadian
dollars, then a simple business visa will suffice.
her sister would like to get a tourist visa only as she will be go home earlier than the rest
not a problem – these forms can be found here: www.canadiansiniran.com/visa/tourist
Will Dorri still be responsible for her sister if she gets a tourist visa instead of being on the family business visa?
No – she will only be responsible for her husband and children.
Can she bring the dog with her?
Not if she plans to bring the dog back to Canada with her – Canada does not allow any dogs that have been in Iran to enter Canada. Call your embassy for details.
Hope this helps.
Let us know when you are ready to start the visa process.
Best Regards,
Rukshana
16. Further E-Mail Tips
• Don’t use email if the message needs to be
private or secure.
• Don't send an email you wouldn't want anyone
else to read, it's too easy to forward.
• Don't leave subject line blank
DON’T
• Don't use all capital letters
• Don't forward a message without a brief
comment why you're forwarding it
• Don't overrun emails with smiley faces or other
emoticons.
• Don't let emotions or offensive language detract
from your message
• Don't send without checking for mistakes
17. Further E-Mail Tips
• Write an informative subject line.
• Put the key point of your message up front
• Be brief
• Make it easy for the reader to reply yes or
no or give a short answer (instead of "let me
DO know what you think" write "Is Monday or
Wednesday at 2PM best for you?")
• Make it easy to read, combine Upper &
lowercase, use white space and legible font.
• Personalize by using conversational
tone(contractions, pronouns)
• Use symbols occasionally to emphasize
20. What you know about writing is wrong!
Introduction, CONCLUSION!!
support, (by the way,
conclusion. here’s support)
“Build up” to a I don’t know if I
memorable want to read all
ending! that…
22. So, what you need to do is…
… give them what they want up front.
… use firm, positive statements.
… have due diligence there, but anything
special put up front.
… explain exactly what their benefit is.
23. So, who sets the standard?
The customer.
Period.
No exceptions.
24. So, how do I go about writing this
thing?
Executive Summary: Introduce the company, what you will do or provide,
what benefit they’ll receive.
Statement of Approach: Describe what you will provide. Implementation
Follow Description of you will organize and customer wants.
schedule. the RFP. deliverables. Product descriptions.
Management Plan: How
Do what the supervise. Schedule for
milestones. Allocation of resources.
Corporate Qualifications: Describe capability. Relevant experience
highlighted.
Staffing Plan: How the project will be staffed. Resumés sometimes given.
Contracts and Pricing: Only if you’re closing.
25. Ok, let’s make this good.
WHO: will do the work, manage the work, customer call if
WHO: problem, responsible for what
WHAT: needs to be done, will be required, to be expected,
WHAT: it will cost
WHERE: will the work be done, where delivered
WHERE: HOW: the work will be done, will be deployed, managed,
achieve QA and satisfaction, risks mitigated, long it will
HOW: take
WHEN: you will start, milestones completed, payments
WHEN: due
WHY: you have chosen approach XYZ, the customer should
WHY: select you
26. How do I format it?
Do what the customer wants! Or, at least…
… use a standard font like “Times New Roman”
… 10-12 point type
… column width of 50-60 characters
… page margins of .5”
… the use of color if possible
… extensive use of graphics
… appendices for data that interrupts the “story”
28. Differences in Proposals
Characteristic Multiple Authors
Single Author
Multiple hand-offs, notifications, and approvals.
Processes You’re in control.
Everyone must be kept “in the loop” and up to date.
Communication No one to communicate with.
Collaborative.
Writing After you write, you hand You Decide.
You write. off to illustrators, desktop
After you write, illustrate,production staff.
publishers, copy, and format, and prepare.
Production Support may be available, but must be managed.
What support? You’re it.
Support The management level of effort goes up as the
availability of resources goes up. The your own.
Streamlined, but you’re on process develops
Bottom Line the proposal.
29. Differences in Proposals
Characteristic Solutions/Services
Products
Pick the out an approach.
Figure right mix of items.
What to bid? Estimate the level of effort,it up. calculate the true cost
Add then
Pricing of the labor.
Not Applicable.
May need to bring in other companies.
Based on tangible requirements and goods.
Teaming Based on approach, processes, capabilities.
Very little original content. One is like the next.
Proposal Outline Everyan assembly line.
It’s proposal is unique.
Writing Just because it’sto Research and Development. that the
Similar an assembly line, don’t forget
Figuring it out, describing it, and presenting it before the
best persuasion is only possible when the proposal
Production proposalrevolves around the customers needs.
is due is a significant management challenge.
Bottom Line
34. Rules For Writing E-Mails
1. Be informal, not friendly.
2. Be concise.
3. Remember good mechanics: good grammar, word choice,
punctuation, and spelling.
4. Scan first. People scan e-mails.
5. Reference previous e-mails and address attachments.
6. Layout: paragraphs much shorter!
35. Rules for Writing E-Mails
Subject: Excel Training Course
I have found an Excel training course taking place downtown. Seeing as people in our department are uncertain how to use
Excel, I think it would be useful for someone in our department to attend. The details are as follows:
Name: Spreadsheets for Financial Planning
Dates: June 4th to June 8th
Time: Weekday Evenings
Cost: 750 Euros
Would you be opposed to paying for the course? I am unable to take the course using my personal funds.
Kind Regards,
Christopher Thomas
36. Rules for Writing E-Mails
Subject: Mrs. Rothe’s Retirement Party
As you may know, Mrs. Rothe will be retiring at the end of the year after 15 years at the company. The party will be after
work on December 20th, in the conference room. Everyone is welcome.
We will also be giving Mrs. Rothe a small gift, of which Claudia will organize the collection for. Your contribution is entirely
up to you.
Kind Regards,
Christopher Thomas
37. The Subject Line
The best subject line is like a newspaper headline. Clear, concise, and
encourages reader to read on.
• Clearly describe what the email is about.
• Keep it short, using no more than about ten words (about 50
characters, including spaces).
• Use acronyms, words, or phrases that would be familiar to the
recipient.
• Use appropriate language.
39. The Passive Voice
The passive voice is an alternative way to make an English sentence. Usually,
sentences are “active” voice:
Subject + Verb + Object
He wrote the report.
The passive voice changes the grammar and removes the subject.
Object + To Be/To Get/To Have (Past) + Verb (Perfect) + by Subject (Optional)
The report was written.
The report has been written.
The report was written by him.
40. The Passive Voice
Why use the passive voice? When you would rather take the focus off
the subject, and on the verb or the object!
• The focus of the whole conversation is on the object.
• “Don’t worry, it’s already been finished.”
• “Have you heard about Eric?”
• Creative works.
41. The Passive Voice
Passive voice is great for
business e-mails because
it is polite.
Why is it polite? It
deflects mistakes! Made
by either you, your client,
or your boss.
43. Missing Words and Abbreviations
Book Work: Missing Words
and Abbreviations
44. General Writing Tips
1. Editing is Important
2. Have a Clear Idea
3. Use Logical Structure
4. Read: Copy Styles
5. Build Word Power
6. Write Smooth Sentences
7. (Grammar)
45. 1 Ideas Clearly state reason for writing
Message talks directly to receiver
Answers all questions
2 Organization Salutation
Ideas in body in logical orgder
Closing
3 Voice Clear Tone
Polite
4 Word Choice Business Etiquette
Plain English
5 Sentence Fluency Variety of sentences – short and long.
Max 20 words per sentence
Don’t repeat sentences
6 Conventions Correct Grammar and Spelling
Correct Capitalization and Pronunciation
7 Presentation Completed Fields (e.g. Subject Line)
Good spaceing
Easy to Scan
46. Activity: Word by Word
Tessy,
This is in regards to the low quality of catering services offered by your company. I have made a year contract
with your company and your service has clearly not been up to our standards.
I can see that your company has made false promises in providing higher quality services than the
competition. Indeed, it is really disgraceful to see that your company has built its reputation on such poor
service. I am attaching a copy of my contract with this email and am prepared to terminate the agreement if
things do not change soon.
Kind Regards,
Elizabeth Green
48. The Art of the Apology
Apologies can be
divided into:
1. The Science of
the Apology
2. The Art of the
Apology
49. The Science of the Apology
1. A detailed account of the situation
2. Acknowledgement of the damage done
3. Taking responsibility for the situation
4. Recognition of your role in the event
5. A statement of regret
6. Asking for forgiveness
7. A promise it won’t happen again
8. A form of restitution if possible
50. Writing E-Mails: Apologies
What makes a good business e-mail apology?
1. Send the apology as soon as you can – bucket method. Timing
compounds.
2. Make it clear in the subject line that you’re apologizing.
3. Give them a reason to forgive you.
4. When it’s really bad, have it signed by an executive.
5. Don‘t make excuses, just fix the problem.
6. Don’t make a mistake in the apology e-mail.
52. The Jet Blue Case
Salutation Dear JetBlue Customers,
This short statement at We are sorry and embarrassed. But most of all, we are deeply sorry.
the top expresses
humility and remorse.
Also sets the tone.
This paragraph gives a Last week was the worst operational week in JetBlue's seven year history. Following the
specific and detailed severe winter ice storm in the Northeast, we subjected our customers to unacceptable
account of the incident delays, flight cancellations, lost baggage, and other major inconveniences. The storm
and takes full disrupted the movement of aircraft, and, more importantly, disrupted the movement of
responsibility. Catalyst JetBlue's pilot and inflight crewmembers who were depending on those planes to get
was a winter storm them to the airports where they were scheduled to serve you. With the busy President's
that NO blame is Day weekend upon us, rebooking opportunities were scarce and hold times at 1-800-
placed on—full JETBLUE were unacceptably long or not even available, further hindering our recovery
responsibility is taken efforts.
by the company.
53. The Jet Blue Case
This paragraph details We are committed to you, our valued customers, and are taking immediate corrective
their commitment to steps to regain your confidence in us. We have begun putting a comprehensive plan in
change and shows place to provide better and more timely information to you, more tools and resources
customers the for our crewmembers and improved procedures for handling operational difficulties in
preventive measures the future. We are confident, as a result of these actions, that JetBlue will emerge as a
taken. more reliable and even more customer responsive airline than ever before.
Here, we see that they Words cannot express how truly sorry we are for the anxiety, frustration and
recognize their role in inconvenience that we caused. This is especially saddening because JetBlue was
the situation and founded on the promise of bringing humanity back to air travel and making the
acknowledge the hurt experience of flying happier and easier for everyone who chooses to fly with us. We
and damage done. know we failed to deliver on this promise last week.
54. The company now offers Most importantly, we have published the JetBlue Airways Customer Bill of Rights—our official
recipients restitution. commitment to you of how we will handle operational interruptions going forward—including
This smartly made details of compensation. I* have a video message to share with you about this industry leading
commitment to change action.
makes JetBlue look good
to existing customers
and others. Understand *Note how this is the first and only time in the letter where they use the word 'I' as opposed to
art – they did the 'we'. This underscores the personal connection that the founder and CEO of the company is
YouTube video apology. trying to establish with his customers.
This statement You deserved better—a lot better—from us last week. Nothing is more important than
expresses regret and regaining your trust and all of us here hope you will give us the opportunity to welcome you
lets customers know onboard again soon and provide you the positive JetBlue Experience you have come to expect
that the company is from us.
hoping to continue the
relationship.
Closing Sincerely,
David Neeleman
Founder and CEO
JetBlue Airways
62. Embedded E-Mail
Fix the Questions
There is a simple way and a complex way to ask a question in English.
Simple way is simple enough:
Question Word + Verb + Subject
Where is the bathroom?
The alternative way is both more polite and more complex:
Qualifier + Object + Question Word + Subject + Verb
Could you possibly tell me where the bathroom is?
64. Activity: Word by Word
Tessy,
This is in regarding low quality of catering services offered by your company. I have made a year contract
with your company and it seems that it is not up to the standards.
I am upset with the services and thinking of getting a refund. I am well aware of your company name and
have approached keeping in mind to get better services which proved to be wrong. It’s a pity when I can see
that your company has made false promises in providing better quality services. I am not interested in
carrying out further and would request you to initiate my refund within ten days.
It is really disgraceful to see the company has made its reputation in a market about offering best catering
facilities but somehow it has failed to keep up the promise. I am attaching my contract copy with this email
and looking forward to get my refund soon.
Kind Regards,
Elizabeth Green
69. General Writing Tips
1. Editing is Important
2. Have a Clear Idea
3. Use Logical Structure
4. Read: Copy Styles
5. Build Word Power
6. Write Smooth Sentences
7. (Grammar)
70. 1 Ideas Clearly state reason for writing
Message talks directly to receiver
Answers all questions
2 Organization Salutation
Ideas in body in logical orgder
Closing
3 Voice Clear Tone
Polite
4 Word Choice Business Etiquette
Plain English
5 Sentence Fluency Variety of sentences – short and long.
Max 20 words per sentence
Don’t repeat sentences
6 Conventions Correct Grammar and Spelling
Correct Capitalization and Pronunciation
7 Presentation Completed Fields (e.g. Subject Line)
Good spaceing
Easy to Scan
72. Writing E-Mails: Thank You
• Appreciation for any type of special consideration extended by
another organization.
• Thanking a speaker for a presentation at an annual board meeting.
• Customer appreciation letters - thanking them for their patronage.
• Thank you letters to employees for exceptional service or
performance.
• Thanks to an individual or organization for a customer referral.
• Commendations to volunteer service workers for their personal
contributions.
73. Thank You E-Mails: Tips
1. Make sure it’s appropriate – routine events strange to say thank you.
2. Write it promptly – delayed letters seem like obligatory afterthought.
3. Remind the recipient – for what are you thanking them?
4. Make it personal – thank you letter is a sincere personal statement.
5. Don’t be Overly Effusive – but, better to be safe than sorry
6. Always Write it to One Person – if it’s to a group, address only the
leader
7. Make it short and direct – short, sincere, and to the point.
74. Thank You E-Mails: Useful Phrases
Go through the useful
phrases and match them
with the situation.
75. Thank You E-Mails: Sample E-Mails
Go through the sample e-
mails; correct the bad ones.
76. Writing E-Mails: Inquiries
Format for a letter of Inquiry:
1. First Paragraph: Identify yourself, your position, and your
institution.
2. Second Paragraph: Why you are writing, how you will use the
requested information.
3. Body: List the specific information you need. Clear and
discrete!
4. Conclusion: Offer your reader some incentive for responding.
78. Conditionals
English has four conditionals:
1. “Zeroth” Conditional: If you do not feed my cat, he will surely die.
2. First Conditional: If I dislike the food, I will stop eating.
3. Second Conditional: If I had a billion dollars, I would buy a private jet.
4. Third Conditional: If I had moved to New York, I would have found a
job working in an Investment Bank.
79. Conditionals in Email Writing
What is important in formal writing is the third conditional. Why?
• Less direct. Compare the two sentences:
We thought you wanted a smoking room. So, we didn’t
arrange a non-smoking room.
If we had known that you wanted a non-smoking room, we would
have arranged one for you.
• Explains “what if” scenarios:
If the report had been sent on time, we would have gotten the
customer.
80. Using the Third Conditional
Go over the worksheet and
change the sentences to
the third conditional.
84. Rules For Writing E-Mails
1. Be informal, not friendly.
2. Be concise.
3. Remember good mechanics: good grammar, word choice,
punctuation, and spelling.
4. Scan first. People scan e-mails.
5. Reference previous e-mails and address attachments.
6. Layout: paragraphs much shorter!
85. Rules for Writing E-Mails
Subject: Excel Training Course
I have found an Excel training course taking place downtown. Seeing as people in our department are uncertain how to use
Excel, I think it would be useful for someone in our department to attend. The details are as follows:
Name: Spreadsheets for Financial Planning
Dates: June 4th to June 8th
Time: Weekday Evenings
Cost: 750 Euros
Would you be opposed to paying for the course? I am unable to take the course using my personal funds.
Kind Regards,
Christopher Thomas
86. Rules for Writing E-Mails
Subject: Mrs. Rothe’s Retirement Party
As you may know, Mrs. Rothe will be retiring at the end of the year after 15 years at the company. The party will be after
work on December 20th, in the conference room. Everyone is welcome.
We will also be giving Mrs. Rothe a small gift, of which Claudia will organize the collection for. Your contribution is entirely
up to you.
Kind Regards,
Christopher Thomas
88. Level of Formality
Formal
• Intercompany
• Interdepartment
• Apologizing Informal?
• Negotiating
• Intradepartment
• The First E-Mail
• Personal E-Mails
• Confirming a meeting
89. Formal English
• I want… • I would like…
• I want to ask… • I would like to
inquire…
• Please (do • Please don’t
something)… hesitate to (do
• I am sorry… something)…
• I deeply regret…
• I want to tell
• I would like to
you… inform you…
• Goodbye. • Kind Regards…
90. Formal English: Set Phrases
Apologizing
Apologizing
• “I’m sorry…”
“I’m sorry…”
“I’m afraid that…”
• “I’m afraid that…”
“We appreciate your understanding.”
• “We haveyour questions, please understanding.”us”.
“Know that
“If you
appreciate yourvaluable to us.” to contact
any
business is very
don’t hesitate
• “Know that your business is very valuable to
us.”
• “If you have any questions, please don’t
hesitate to contact us”.
91. Formal English: Set Phrases
Requesting
• “I would be extremely grateful if…”
• “Could you possibly…”
• “Would you mind if we set aside a time to
possibly meet face-to-face?”
93. Formal English: Practice
SUBJECT: With regards to your May 5th order
Mr. Smith,
We are sorry to inform you that your order was not filled on time. I am afraid that the
shipment was caught up in our warehouse.
If you would like any more information, please don’t hesitate to contact us. Again, we regret
any trouble this may have caused you. If you need compensation, we don’t mind helping
you in any way. We appreciate your understanding and know that your business is very
valuable to us.
Kind Regards,
Christopher Thomas
95. Embedded E-Mail
Fix the Questions
There is a simple way and a complex way to ask a question in English.
Simple way is simple enough:
Question Word + Verb + Subject
Where is the bathroom?
The alternative way is both more polite and more complex:
Qualifier + Object + Question Word + Subject + Verb
Could you possibly tell me where the bathroom is?
100. Rules For Writing E-Mails
1. Be informal, not friendly.
2. Be concise.
3. Remember good mechanics: good grammar, word choice,
punctuation, and spelling.
4. Scan first. People scan e-mails.
5. Reference previous e-mails and address attachments.
6. Layout: paragraphs much shorter!
101. Rules for Writing E-Mails
Subject: Excel Training Course
I have found an Excel training course taking place downtown. Seeing as people in our department are uncertain how to use
Excel, I think it would be useful for someone in our department to attend. The details are as follows:
Name: Spreadsheets for Financial Planning
Dates: June 4th to June 8th
Time: Weekday Evenings
Cost: 750 Euros
Would you be opposed to paying for the course? I am unable to take the course using my personal funds.
Kind Regards,
Christopher Thomas
102. Rules for Writing E-Mails
Subject: Mrs. Rothe’s Retirement Party
As you may know, Mrs. Rothe will be retiring at the end of the year after 15 years at the company. The party will be after
work on December 20th, in the conference room. Everyone is welcome.
We will also be giving Mrs. Rothe a small gift, of which Claudia will organize the collection for. Your contribution is entirely
up to you.
Kind Regards,
Christopher Thomas
105. Rules for Writing E-Mails
Subject: Excel Training Course
I have found an Excel training course taking place downtown. Seeing as people in our department are uncertain how to use
Excel, I think it would be useful for someone in our department to attend. The details are as follows:
Name: Spreadsheets for Financial Planning
Dates: June 4th to June 8th
Time: Weekday Evenings
Cost: 750 Euros
Would you be opposed to paying for the course? I am unable to take the course using my personal funds.
Kind Regards,
Christopher Thomas
106. Rules for Writing E-Mails
Subject: Mrs. Rothe’s Retirement Party
As you may know, Mrs. Rothe will be retiring at the end of the year after 15 years at the company. The party will be after
work on December 20th, in the conference room. Everyone is welcome.
We will also be giving Mrs. Rothe a small gift, of which Claudia will organize the collection for. Your contribution is entirely
up to you.
Kind Regards,
Christopher Thomas
108. The Art of the Apology
Apologies can be
divided into:
1. The Science of
the Apology
2. The Art of the
Apology
109. The Science of the Apology
1. A detailed account of the situation
2. Acknowledgement of the damage done
3. Taking responsibility for the situation
4. Recognition of your role in the event
5. A statement of regret
6. Asking for forgiveness
7. A promise it won’t happen again
8. A form of restitution if possible
110. Writing E-Mails: Apologies
What makes a good business e-mail apology?
1. Send the apology as soon as you can – bucket method. Timing
compounds.
2. Make it clear in the subject line that you’re apologizing.
3. Give them a reason to forgive you.
4. When it’s really bad, have it signed by an executive.
5. Don‘t make excuses, just fix the problem.
6. Don’t make a mistake in the apology e-mail.
112. The Jet Blue Case
Salutation Dear JetBlue Customers,
This short statement at We are sorry and embarrassed. But most of all, we are deeply sorry.
the top expresses
humility and remorse.
Also sets the tone.
This paragraph gives a Last week was the worst operational week in JetBlue's seven year history. Following the
specific and detailed severe winter ice storm in the Northeast, we subjected our customers to unacceptable
account of the incident delays, flight cancellations, lost baggage, and other major inconveniences. The storm
and takes full disrupted the movement of aircraft, and, more importantly, disrupted the movement of
responsibility. Catalyst JetBlue's pilot and inflight crewmembers who were depending on those planes to get
was a winter storm them to the airports where they were scheduled to serve you. With the busy President's
that NO blame is Day weekend upon us, rebooking opportunities were scarce and hold times at 1-800-
placed on—full JETBLUE were unacceptably long or not even available, further hindering our recovery
responsibility is taken efforts.
by the company.
113. The Jet Blue Case
This paragraph details We are committed to you, our valued customers, and are taking immediate corrective
their commitment to steps to regain your confidence in us. We have begun putting a comprehensive plan in
change and shows place to provide better and more timely information to you, more tools and resources
customers the for our crewmembers and improved procedures for handling operational difficulties in
preventive measures the future. We are confident, as a result of these actions, that JetBlue will emerge as a
taken. more reliable and even more customer responsive airline than ever before.
Here, we see that they Words cannot express how truly sorry we are for the anxiety, frustration and
recognize their role in inconvenience that we caused. This is especially saddening because JetBlue was
the situation and founded on the promise of bringing humanity back to air travel and making the
acknowledge the hurt experience of flying happier and easier for everyone who chooses to fly with us. We
and damage done. know we failed to deliver on this promise last week.
114. The company now offers Most importantly, we have published the JetBlue Airways Customer Bill of Rights—our official
recipients restitution. commitment to you of how we will handle operational interruptions going forward—including
This smartly made details of compensation. I* have a video message to share with you about this industry leading
commitment to change action.
makes JetBlue look good
to existing customers
and others. Understand *Note how this is the first and only time in the letter where they use the word 'I' as opposed to
art – they did the 'we'. This underscores the personal connection that the founder and CEO of the company is
YouTube video apology. trying to establish with his customers.
This statement You deserved better—a lot better—from us last week. Nothing is more important than
expresses regret and regaining your trust and all of us here hope you will give us the opportunity to welcome you
lets customers know onboard again soon and provide you the positive JetBlue Experience you have come to expect
that the company is from us.
hoping to continue the
relationship.
Closing Sincerely,
David Neeleman
Founder and CEO
JetBlue Airways
122. Writing E-Mails: Thank You
• Appreciation for any type of special consideration extended by
another organization.
• Thanking a speaker for a presentation at an annual board meeting.
• Customer appreciation letters - thanking them for their patronage.
• Thank you letters to employees for exceptional service or
performance.
• Thanks to an individual or organization for a customer referral.
• Commendations to volunteer service workers for their personal
contributions.
123. Thank You E-Mails: Tips
1. Make sure it’s appropriate – routine events strange to say thank you.
2. Write it promptly – delayed letters seem like obligatory afterthought.
3. Remind the recipient – for what are you thanking them?
4. Make it personal – thank you letter is a sincere personal statement.
5. Don’t be Overly Effusive – but, better to be safe than sorry
6. Always Write it to One Person – if it’s to a group, address only the
leader
7. Make it short and direct – short, sincere, and to the point.
124. The Passive Voice
The passive voice is an alternative way to make an English sentence. Usually,
sentences are “active” voice:
Subject + Verb + Object
He wrote the report.
The passive voice changes the grammar and removes the subject.
Object + To Be/To Get/To Have (Past) + Verb (Perfect) + by Subject (Optional)
The report was written.
The report has been written.
The report was written by him.
125. The Passive Voice
Why use the passive voice? When you would rather take the focus off
the subject, and on the verb or the object!
• The focus of the whole conversation is on the object.
• “Don’t worry, it’s already been finished.”
• “Have you heard about Eric?”
• Creative works.
126. The Passive Voice
Passive voice is great for
business e-mails because
it is polite.
Why is it polite? It
deflects mistakes! Made
by either you, your client,
or your boss.
