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AVG Digital Diaries												
besafeonline
Parents across the world have taken part in the latest edition of AVG’s ongoing
study into the effect of technology on childhood. It is called AVG Digital Diaries
and the latest research has brought to light some interesting results. Here, our
Senior Security Evangelist, Tony Anscombe, takes a look at what parents have told
us, analyses the trends and provides advice that will hopefully help parents tackle
some of the issues they said are challenging them in an increasingly digital world.
Change
A
few years back, AVG launched
the first of its AVG Digital Diaries
studies, a series which takes
a look at how technology is changing
childhood, families and parenting. We’ve
traced digital trends from pregnancy all
the way through to the teenage years.
Just like you, these topics are very much
on our minds here at AVG, as technology
professionals and as parents too. I’m no
exception because I’m a father as well as
being AVG’s Senior Security Evangelist.
Our latest survey put the focus on
younger children from birth up to 9 years
old and reached out to more than 6,000
parents internationally. Looking at the
results, a number of striking figures
leapt off the page and conjured up some
genuinely thoughtful conversations. In
this eBook, we’ll zero in on a few key
stats about younger children - and how
the Internet, digital devices, and a world
full of apps and services are influencing
the way our children grow up.
Our aim is to provide you with
information that will make you pause
and take a moment to think things
through and consider some fresh ways
of teaching digital skills and general life
skills together. As parents, we’re the
ones who set our children on the right
path in life. They look to our example.
My hope is that this eBook will help make
this easier by offering you at least one
insight or piece of advice that can help.
Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com	2
IntroductionOur kids are the first to come of age in an online world where a connection
to the Internet seems like it’s almost always within arm’s reach. Our kids
are learning as they go along, and in many respects we are too. With
technology evolving so rapidly, it’s a good idea to pause for a moment and
talk things through - so we can make a plan that works for us and our kids.
Tony Anscombe is AVG’s
Senior Security Evangelist
and authored the book One
Parent to Another: Managing
Technology and Your Teen
W
ell, it would sure seem like it
does. One of the quickest
ways for your child to make
his or her first digital footprint in the
world is through our natural desire to
share the joy of our children with friends
and family. In other words, we can’t help
ourselves. It’s so quick and easy to do in
the moment!
But even while our babies and toddlers
are doing all kinds of shareworthy things,
we might need to take a moment and
think things through. With everything
we share, we’re creating a digital
footprint, one that will perhaps last for
some time. Enter the concept of
“sharenting,” where parents share details
about their children’s lives on social
media. We amass all these pictures that
we think are cute and put them out there
in the world, but we have to realize that,
one day, our kids might not want them
out there. After all, these are pictures of
them.
Right now, it may seem like we’re
posting these pictures for us and our
friends, but in the long term we’re really
posting these things on behalf of our
kids. A time will come (sooner than you
think) that they’ll want to have their
rightful say about when and where they
appear online.
So right now, we have to think of these
things as part of their permanent record
- their long-term digital identity. What
will that picture say about them years
from now when people are looking at
those pictures and then forming all kinds
of opinions about them?
Think of it this way: right now, you’re the
caretaker of your child’s online identity.
Digital footprintIn our research, 80% of parents reported uploading images and information
about their very young child (age 0 to 2 years) to share with grandparents and
friends online. Does sharing trump privacy?
Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 	 3
Right now, you’re
the caretaker of your
child’s online identity
M
any of us have large groups of
“friends” in our social media
networks, but do all these
people really need to see that picture of
your child? Are they really all close
“friends?” With that in mind, be selective
by using privacy settings when you post.
You can configure them so that only your
close friends and family can see the
personal things you post.
Also, find out if you are giving up the
rights to those photos to someone else
when you post them (some websites and
social media services do just that).
And most of all, put yourself in your kid’s
shoes. Will that picture still be funny ten
years from now? Twenty? Think of all
your bad haircuts and messy pudding-
face pictures from your childhood and
answer that question honestly.
Not surprisingly, many teens are a step
ahead of us parents when it comes to
their photos and social media. The rising
popularity of the “photo messaging” app
Snapchat is a case in point. They’re
switching to services like Snapchat which
make their photos and other content
disappear after a set period of time -
in some cases, even seconds after it’s
opened and viewed. Compare this to
Facebook or Instagram where these
photos are stored in a gallery. The
significance of this is that these teens
are thinking ahead about their digital
footprint. So should we. However,
nothing is foolproof - screen captures or
taking pictures of pictures that appear
on a phone will mean that even these
photos can actually live on far beyond
their intended lifespan. That’s something
to keep in mind with all digital content:
once you put it on the Internet, it’s
nearly impossible to take it back.
Take carePause and think for one moment before posting that photo of your child
anywhere online: why are you sharing it and who is seeing it? No status update is
so important that you can’t take a few seconds out to consider its impact.
Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 	 4
And most of all, put
yourself in your kid’s
shoes. Will that picture
still be funny ten years
from now? Twenty?
T
his stat stirred up quite a bit of
conversation when we saw it. Just
45 minutes or less of Internet
usage a day? Based on what I’ve seen
personally and professionally, my
impression is that a good portion of
these parents are underestimating the
time their children are actually spending
online. I’m going to chalk that up to a
combination of things.
First, we should realize just how often
we connect to the Internet. It’s no longer
just a sit-down session at the family
computer. Our cameras, video game
consoles, TVs, and of course our phones
are all connected. We’re sending and
receiving information on the Internet
numerous times a day, even when it’s
not through a traditional web browser.
This everyday reality inflates the number
and offers us a slight note of caution -
we need to be more aware of when and
where our kids are connecting to the
Internet. That way we can consider any
risks. Many of these devices have the
ability to browse, chat, and generally
interact with others, even when it’s over
the course of simply playing a game.
Second, we have to wonder how well
parents are tracking their children’s
Internet usage in the first place. How
closely is it being monitored? This brings
up a really interesting follow-on statistic.
We asked mothers of children aged 6 to
9 if the computers or tablets that their
children use have any active parental
controls. This time, 64% of them
reported yes. Based on what I’ve seen,
from other very credible sources, that
figure seemed a bit high. When you get
right down to it, there are lots of ways to
define what “parental controls” are.
Reality bites78% of parents report that their children use the Internet for less than five hours
a week. (Hmm, I think that figure seems a bit low, doesn’t it?) Is there a difference
between perception and reality?
Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 	 5
We need to be more
aware of when and
where our kids are
connecting to the
Internet
T
o start with, parental controls are
far more expansive than just
selecting the “safe search” setting
on Google or Bing. They’re actually quite
robust. For example, in our home all the
devices that connect to the Internet use
content filters which remove all kinds of
inappropriate stuff before it even enters
our home.
From there, I can use these filters to
customize things even more by further
filtering content on individual devices
and individual users. This way, we can
have general filters that let us block the
kind of content, activities and sites that
we don’t want in our home. Then, from
there, we can fine-tune that even more
by adopting user profiles for each family
member - adjusting the content that
each person can see and how long they
can spend online.
Here’s an important note: I do all this in
the open. As parents, we should keep no
secrets about parental controls, so when
I set them up I always have a
conversation with my son about it first.
I strongly suggest you do the same and
follow up with some parental controls of
your own. You can strike a balance of
monitoring and control, adjusting it as
the age of your child and his or her
behavior calls for. Yes, it can seem like a
bit of a daunting task at first, but feel
free to take a look at my book for more
on parental controls. It’s free, and it has
an entire chapter dedicated to the
subject, along with a load of hands-on,
practical advice to get you up and
running.
It’s also worth noting that technology is
not always the answer, I just had a
question from a parent in Brazil about
how to stop their child using the Internet
on a tablet under the covers after
bedtime. Remember, we’re the parents.
We make the rules in our homes. So, to
me, the answer was simple: don’t allow
any tablets in the bedroom after a
certain time. Hands down, your rules and
how you enforce them are the most
important parental control of all.
Parental controlDo you know exactly when and for how long your children are accessing the
Internet? Be open and honest and work together as a family to ensure that
appropriate measures are in place in your household.
Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 	 6
Your rules and how
you enforce them are
the most important
parental control of all
R
emember when our parents used
to tell us to turn off that TV and
get outside? Now we’re saying it
too. Fears of slowly turning into our own
parents aside, we can actually take some
degree of comfort in knowing that the
challenges we’re facing aren’t entirely
new. We’re still dealing with how much
“screen time” children should get, and
how to balance it out with a well-
rounded, active life.
The trick today is that there are so many
screens that demand our attention - and
they’re so portable. Makes you almost
wish for the days of the big TV in the
family room again (almost … who wants
to go back to the days where the TV took
5 minutes to warm up? Not me!). The
Internet and the connected lifestyle that
comes with it is great.
We need to take it for what it is, which is
nothing short of this generation’s
Industrial Revolution. Yet while we as
adults tend to make distinctions
between being online and offline, I
suspect that there’s increasingly little
difference between the two for our kids.
To them, it’s all just part of life.
It’s a revolutionAccording to parents of children aged 3 to 5, more kids can operate a
smartphone (47%) or play a basic computer game (66%) than can tie their
shoelaces (14%), or swim (23%). Have our priorities gotten a bit out of whack?
Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 	 7
47% of children aged 3 to 5
can use a smartphone
of children aged
3 to 5 can swim
23%
A
s with any major social change
(and the advent of the Internet is
just that), people will need time
to adjust. So, as we look at the stats we
have to wonder what role we’re playing
in this shift. For example, are we
consciously creating situations where
we’re letting our kids get more time with
screens than bikes - and one at the
expense of the other?
Or is it far more subtle than that? Like
when we hand the phone to our toddler
while on a long drive without thinking
much about longer term learned
behaviors and their implications...
Everyone will have their own answer to
that, but it’s likely to be a mix of the two.
I recently heard an interesting anecdote
while listening to the radio that cited
how our kids no longer know how to play
“I Spy” while traveling in the car. Should
we start a movement to bring it back on
those long journeys?
So while we’re not afraid that our kids
will never learn to tie their shoes, this
stat does beg the question: what impact
is technology having on their childhood?
My point of view is that we should take
an active hand and regulate not just
“screen time” but also the mix of options
and activities our children engage in.
Again, our kids are looking to us, and
while we’re busy and can’t always
entertain them, we should offer up
channels for all their energy.
Give them choices; expose them to new
things when we can; foster their
inclinations to cook, read or just to learn
how to deal with being bored (now
there’s a life skill that will pay off later!)
Sound familiar? It should. You see, much
of the same advice that parents had to
dish out with the advent of the radio, the
TV and game consoles still applies.
Life will always present choices about
how to spend our time, and we have to
help our children navigate that. As
human beings, in particular as little
human beings, we’re wired to interact, to
hang out with each other, and simply get
out and run around from time to time.
Yes, sometimes it takes a bit of effort to
overcome the inertia of sitting in front of
a screen, but when we do, we’re usually
glad we did. Let’s keep that in mind for
our kids, and ourselves.
Show the wayIf our kids are missing out on some key life skills, is it all too easy to just blame
technology? As parents, we set the standard - so let’s make it a high one.
Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 	 8
W
ow, 46% of young kids are
playing in a virtual world? In
some countries we saw the
figure climb up to 54%. Wow again,
right? That number may seem large at
first, but when you get to thinking about
it, it starts to make sense. After all, these
virtual worlds are yet another place your
kids will naturally want to play, a place
where they not only have fun, but also
develop a sense of independence.
To support this very natural inclination,
many parents and kids have turned to
online worlds and experiences designed
specifically for children, such as Club
Penguin or WebKinz.
As you might imagine, these
environments tend to be heavily
moderated. Controls are in place to make
these worlds as safe as possible for
young ones. In some ways they’re like a
kiddie pool set off from the rest of the
open water Internet. Still, it’s up to us to
monitor the time they spend in there and
make sure all’s well in their world. Heck,
play some games with them. See what
makes it so fun for them. What’s more,
spending this time together will open
some doors to lots of teaching moments
about the Internet, like how to stay safe,
how to protect passwords, and so on. As
with anything else at this age, playing in
an online world is great provided you
keep an eye on what they’re up to and
offer guidance as needed.
Game timeAlso reported by parents, 46% of 6 to 9 year olds use a kid’s virtual world and
16% are on Facebook. How do we prepare for these big moments in (online) life?
Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 	 9
N
ow here’s what really surprised
us: Facebook. Really, 16% of 6 to
9-year-olds are on it? Right away
it gets us to wondering what business a
young child has on there.
I think it also begs the question: Do
parents really know what’s going on?
How are these kids getting onto
Facebook - on their parents’ phone, a
sibling’s account, through a friend? At
this age, is it too much too soon? Yes.
It’s clearly against the terms and
conditions of Facebook, which limit the
membership age to 13 and up. Plus, and
this is important, these kids are simply
too young to wade through the waves
of unmoderated content that Facebook
will hurl at them, which is all designed
for the 13+ age group. Those news feeds
and ads aren’t meant for young kids.
That’s the real rub here.
One day your kid will leave the kiddie
pool and jump into the “big pool” of the
Internet. That water is deep in there,
and it can be pretty cold too. Put plainly,
this is a massive jump. We cannot be
complacent. Our job right now is to help
them get ready for that moment.
Virtual worlds, using kid-friendly search
engines, and eventually setting up an
email account can set them up,
gradually, to stand on their own. Your
kids need you to help them make that
transition - and to be available and
ready to offer up sound advice when
they do. Don’t allow the online world to
be the reason they grow up too quickly.
Thumbs downFacebook is not the place for kids under the age of 13 - don’t allow them to grow
up too fast by diving into these choppy waters.
Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 	 10
16% of 6 to 9 year olds
are on Facebook
Don’t allow the online
world to be the reason
they grow up too quickly
T
easing and bullying online. It’s a
huge topic, and another one that
gets an entire chapter dedicated to
it in my book. It’s that important, so I
hope you’ll click that link and take a look.
It contains very straightforward advice
and lists a number of resources that you
can turn to in need. For example, you’ll
be glad to know that many schools are
becoming an immediate go-to resource
to address cyberbullying among
students, even if it does not occur on
school grounds. Believe me, there’s
plenty to talk about here, but my advice
is this: if you see something that feels
like bullying, it probably is. Act on it, but
keep an even keel when you do. Kids
always tease each other, so make a clear
decision on whether what you see is
banter or bullying, and then do what’s
right for your child.
So as we look at this stat, it would
appear that 11% of moms have a child
who’s been teased by peers via the
Internet. Looking at broader industry
statistics, the generally accepted number
is around 15%. We can speculate quite a
bit about what’s creating that 4% gap,
but one thing we can be sure of is the
fact that our children won’t always come
to us when there is a problem. So, like
everything else in raising children, we
have to tune into our parental “sixth
sense” and be alert for signs that
something is up. It’s on us to take an
active interest in our children’s moods
and activities. At a young age, when your
child is down or out of sorts, there’s
typically a reason they can point to
(they’re not moody teenagers yet). We
should look out for other children as
well. Happy, healthy and safe children are
in everyone’s interest.
Take actionOf the mothers we surveyed, 89% said that, to their knowledge, their child hasn’t
been teased by peers via the Internet or a mobile device, yet 16% said they knew
of their children’s peers who had. How much of this is really going on, and how
can we help these kids?
Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 	 11
Make a clear decision on
whether what you see
is banter or bullying,
and then do what’s
right for your child
O
ne of the best ways to keep
children happy, healthy and safe
is to keep those lines of
communication open with your child.
Should teasing or bullying ever occur,
you want it so that your child feels like
he or she can talk to you without feeling
pressured or pumped for information.
Resist that urge to interrogate or even
overreact in the heat of the moment. Be
the example that you want to set. Finally,
take the proactive approach. Talk to your
child before this is an issue. Help them
understand what cyberbullying is and
what to look out for. But keep fear from
being the focus - the Internet is a fun
place overall. Even though we have to
address some serious issues from time
to time, we want our kids to see the
Internet as a good thing.
There’s little doubt that it will be with
them for their entire lifetime. Let’s start
them off with the right foundation.
Have fun onlineWhile it can be a scary place at times, the Internet generally is a positive and fun
environment in which to interact. It’s important that your kids are given the right
foundations to enjoy it.
Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 	 12
89% of mothers claimed to
have no knowledge of their
child being cyberbullied
16% said they knew their
children’s peers had been
victims of cyberbullying
We want our kids
to see the Internet
as a good thing
W
hether it’s taking steps to
manage and secure a child’s
online information or
educating them about navigating the
online world, we have a responsibility to
ensure we give our children the very best
digital start possible.
It’s my hope that this eBook gives you a
little insight into what’s going on with
other children and other parents like you.
From there, I hope it also gives you a
little nudge - to actively think about how
you’d like to raise your child who is part
of the first fully digital generation. It’s
important to step back every once in a
while and think about the kind of life we
want to lead amidst all this technology.
We’re all rather new at this, and that’s
okay. There are time-honored lessons we
can apply to this new world, in addition
to other resources and parents who are
doing a good job at figuring out the rest.
The important thing is to figure out what
works for your family, then to follow up
by being a living example of these good
behaviors yourself. The Internet is a cool
thing, and there’s much we can do to
keep it that way.
In a nutshellWhile most parents will react quickly to scares surrounding food and medicine,
there seems to be a reluctance to address the issues surrounding their child’s
online presence. However, with technology evolving at such a rapid pace, these
security and privacy issues aren’t something we can afford to ignore.
Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 	 13
Enjoy
So, there it is. The digital world is engaging and challenging both parents and
children and if your interest in our AVG Digital Diaries survey has been piqued
then visit our dedicated section on the AVG site for more information:
www.avg.com/digitaldiaries
Learn more about internet security at www.avg.com

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Avg digital-diaries

  • 2. Parents across the world have taken part in the latest edition of AVG’s ongoing study into the effect of technology on childhood. It is called AVG Digital Diaries and the latest research has brought to light some interesting results. Here, our Senior Security Evangelist, Tony Anscombe, takes a look at what parents have told us, analyses the trends and provides advice that will hopefully help parents tackle some of the issues they said are challenging them in an increasingly digital world. Change
  • 3. A few years back, AVG launched the first of its AVG Digital Diaries studies, a series which takes a look at how technology is changing childhood, families and parenting. We’ve traced digital trends from pregnancy all the way through to the teenage years. Just like you, these topics are very much on our minds here at AVG, as technology professionals and as parents too. I’m no exception because I’m a father as well as being AVG’s Senior Security Evangelist. Our latest survey put the focus on younger children from birth up to 9 years old and reached out to more than 6,000 parents internationally. Looking at the results, a number of striking figures leapt off the page and conjured up some genuinely thoughtful conversations. In this eBook, we’ll zero in on a few key stats about younger children - and how the Internet, digital devices, and a world full of apps and services are influencing the way our children grow up. Our aim is to provide you with information that will make you pause and take a moment to think things through and consider some fresh ways of teaching digital skills and general life skills together. As parents, we’re the ones who set our children on the right path in life. They look to our example. My hope is that this eBook will help make this easier by offering you at least one insight or piece of advice that can help. Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 2 IntroductionOur kids are the first to come of age in an online world where a connection to the Internet seems like it’s almost always within arm’s reach. Our kids are learning as they go along, and in many respects we are too. With technology evolving so rapidly, it’s a good idea to pause for a moment and talk things through - so we can make a plan that works for us and our kids. Tony Anscombe is AVG’s Senior Security Evangelist and authored the book One Parent to Another: Managing Technology and Your Teen
  • 4. W ell, it would sure seem like it does. One of the quickest ways for your child to make his or her first digital footprint in the world is through our natural desire to share the joy of our children with friends and family. In other words, we can’t help ourselves. It’s so quick and easy to do in the moment! But even while our babies and toddlers are doing all kinds of shareworthy things, we might need to take a moment and think things through. With everything we share, we’re creating a digital footprint, one that will perhaps last for some time. Enter the concept of “sharenting,” where parents share details about their children’s lives on social media. We amass all these pictures that we think are cute and put them out there in the world, but we have to realize that, one day, our kids might not want them out there. After all, these are pictures of them. Right now, it may seem like we’re posting these pictures for us and our friends, but in the long term we’re really posting these things on behalf of our kids. A time will come (sooner than you think) that they’ll want to have their rightful say about when and where they appear online. So right now, we have to think of these things as part of their permanent record - their long-term digital identity. What will that picture say about them years from now when people are looking at those pictures and then forming all kinds of opinions about them? Think of it this way: right now, you’re the caretaker of your child’s online identity. Digital footprintIn our research, 80% of parents reported uploading images and information about their very young child (age 0 to 2 years) to share with grandparents and friends online. Does sharing trump privacy? Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 3 Right now, you’re the caretaker of your child’s online identity
  • 5. M any of us have large groups of “friends” in our social media networks, but do all these people really need to see that picture of your child? Are they really all close “friends?” With that in mind, be selective by using privacy settings when you post. You can configure them so that only your close friends and family can see the personal things you post. Also, find out if you are giving up the rights to those photos to someone else when you post them (some websites and social media services do just that). And most of all, put yourself in your kid’s shoes. Will that picture still be funny ten years from now? Twenty? Think of all your bad haircuts and messy pudding- face pictures from your childhood and answer that question honestly. Not surprisingly, many teens are a step ahead of us parents when it comes to their photos and social media. The rising popularity of the “photo messaging” app Snapchat is a case in point. They’re switching to services like Snapchat which make their photos and other content disappear after a set period of time - in some cases, even seconds after it’s opened and viewed. Compare this to Facebook or Instagram where these photos are stored in a gallery. The significance of this is that these teens are thinking ahead about their digital footprint. So should we. However, nothing is foolproof - screen captures or taking pictures of pictures that appear on a phone will mean that even these photos can actually live on far beyond their intended lifespan. That’s something to keep in mind with all digital content: once you put it on the Internet, it’s nearly impossible to take it back. Take carePause and think for one moment before posting that photo of your child anywhere online: why are you sharing it and who is seeing it? No status update is so important that you can’t take a few seconds out to consider its impact. Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 4 And most of all, put yourself in your kid’s shoes. Will that picture still be funny ten years from now? Twenty?
  • 6. T his stat stirred up quite a bit of conversation when we saw it. Just 45 minutes or less of Internet usage a day? Based on what I’ve seen personally and professionally, my impression is that a good portion of these parents are underestimating the time their children are actually spending online. I’m going to chalk that up to a combination of things. First, we should realize just how often we connect to the Internet. It’s no longer just a sit-down session at the family computer. Our cameras, video game consoles, TVs, and of course our phones are all connected. We’re sending and receiving information on the Internet numerous times a day, even when it’s not through a traditional web browser. This everyday reality inflates the number and offers us a slight note of caution - we need to be more aware of when and where our kids are connecting to the Internet. That way we can consider any risks. Many of these devices have the ability to browse, chat, and generally interact with others, even when it’s over the course of simply playing a game. Second, we have to wonder how well parents are tracking their children’s Internet usage in the first place. How closely is it being monitored? This brings up a really interesting follow-on statistic. We asked mothers of children aged 6 to 9 if the computers or tablets that their children use have any active parental controls. This time, 64% of them reported yes. Based on what I’ve seen, from other very credible sources, that figure seemed a bit high. When you get right down to it, there are lots of ways to define what “parental controls” are. Reality bites78% of parents report that their children use the Internet for less than five hours a week. (Hmm, I think that figure seems a bit low, doesn’t it?) Is there a difference between perception and reality? Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 5 We need to be more aware of when and where our kids are connecting to the Internet
  • 7. T o start with, parental controls are far more expansive than just selecting the “safe search” setting on Google or Bing. They’re actually quite robust. For example, in our home all the devices that connect to the Internet use content filters which remove all kinds of inappropriate stuff before it even enters our home. From there, I can use these filters to customize things even more by further filtering content on individual devices and individual users. This way, we can have general filters that let us block the kind of content, activities and sites that we don’t want in our home. Then, from there, we can fine-tune that even more by adopting user profiles for each family member - adjusting the content that each person can see and how long they can spend online. Here’s an important note: I do all this in the open. As parents, we should keep no secrets about parental controls, so when I set them up I always have a conversation with my son about it first. I strongly suggest you do the same and follow up with some parental controls of your own. You can strike a balance of monitoring and control, adjusting it as the age of your child and his or her behavior calls for. Yes, it can seem like a bit of a daunting task at first, but feel free to take a look at my book for more on parental controls. It’s free, and it has an entire chapter dedicated to the subject, along with a load of hands-on, practical advice to get you up and running. It’s also worth noting that technology is not always the answer, I just had a question from a parent in Brazil about how to stop their child using the Internet on a tablet under the covers after bedtime. Remember, we’re the parents. We make the rules in our homes. So, to me, the answer was simple: don’t allow any tablets in the bedroom after a certain time. Hands down, your rules and how you enforce them are the most important parental control of all. Parental controlDo you know exactly when and for how long your children are accessing the Internet? Be open and honest and work together as a family to ensure that appropriate measures are in place in your household. Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 6 Your rules and how you enforce them are the most important parental control of all
  • 8. R emember when our parents used to tell us to turn off that TV and get outside? Now we’re saying it too. Fears of slowly turning into our own parents aside, we can actually take some degree of comfort in knowing that the challenges we’re facing aren’t entirely new. We’re still dealing with how much “screen time” children should get, and how to balance it out with a well- rounded, active life. The trick today is that there are so many screens that demand our attention - and they’re so portable. Makes you almost wish for the days of the big TV in the family room again (almost … who wants to go back to the days where the TV took 5 minutes to warm up? Not me!). The Internet and the connected lifestyle that comes with it is great. We need to take it for what it is, which is nothing short of this generation’s Industrial Revolution. Yet while we as adults tend to make distinctions between being online and offline, I suspect that there’s increasingly little difference between the two for our kids. To them, it’s all just part of life. It’s a revolutionAccording to parents of children aged 3 to 5, more kids can operate a smartphone (47%) or play a basic computer game (66%) than can tie their shoelaces (14%), or swim (23%). Have our priorities gotten a bit out of whack? Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 7 47% of children aged 3 to 5 can use a smartphone of children aged 3 to 5 can swim 23%
  • 9. A s with any major social change (and the advent of the Internet is just that), people will need time to adjust. So, as we look at the stats we have to wonder what role we’re playing in this shift. For example, are we consciously creating situations where we’re letting our kids get more time with screens than bikes - and one at the expense of the other? Or is it far more subtle than that? Like when we hand the phone to our toddler while on a long drive without thinking much about longer term learned behaviors and their implications... Everyone will have their own answer to that, but it’s likely to be a mix of the two. I recently heard an interesting anecdote while listening to the radio that cited how our kids no longer know how to play “I Spy” while traveling in the car. Should we start a movement to bring it back on those long journeys? So while we’re not afraid that our kids will never learn to tie their shoes, this stat does beg the question: what impact is technology having on their childhood? My point of view is that we should take an active hand and regulate not just “screen time” but also the mix of options and activities our children engage in. Again, our kids are looking to us, and while we’re busy and can’t always entertain them, we should offer up channels for all their energy. Give them choices; expose them to new things when we can; foster their inclinations to cook, read or just to learn how to deal with being bored (now there’s a life skill that will pay off later!) Sound familiar? It should. You see, much of the same advice that parents had to dish out with the advent of the radio, the TV and game consoles still applies. Life will always present choices about how to spend our time, and we have to help our children navigate that. As human beings, in particular as little human beings, we’re wired to interact, to hang out with each other, and simply get out and run around from time to time. Yes, sometimes it takes a bit of effort to overcome the inertia of sitting in front of a screen, but when we do, we’re usually glad we did. Let’s keep that in mind for our kids, and ourselves. Show the wayIf our kids are missing out on some key life skills, is it all too easy to just blame technology? As parents, we set the standard - so let’s make it a high one. Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 8
  • 10. W ow, 46% of young kids are playing in a virtual world? In some countries we saw the figure climb up to 54%. Wow again, right? That number may seem large at first, but when you get to thinking about it, it starts to make sense. After all, these virtual worlds are yet another place your kids will naturally want to play, a place where they not only have fun, but also develop a sense of independence. To support this very natural inclination, many parents and kids have turned to online worlds and experiences designed specifically for children, such as Club Penguin or WebKinz. As you might imagine, these environments tend to be heavily moderated. Controls are in place to make these worlds as safe as possible for young ones. In some ways they’re like a kiddie pool set off from the rest of the open water Internet. Still, it’s up to us to monitor the time they spend in there and make sure all’s well in their world. Heck, play some games with them. See what makes it so fun for them. What’s more, spending this time together will open some doors to lots of teaching moments about the Internet, like how to stay safe, how to protect passwords, and so on. As with anything else at this age, playing in an online world is great provided you keep an eye on what they’re up to and offer guidance as needed. Game timeAlso reported by parents, 46% of 6 to 9 year olds use a kid’s virtual world and 16% are on Facebook. How do we prepare for these big moments in (online) life? Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 9
  • 11. N ow here’s what really surprised us: Facebook. Really, 16% of 6 to 9-year-olds are on it? Right away it gets us to wondering what business a young child has on there. I think it also begs the question: Do parents really know what’s going on? How are these kids getting onto Facebook - on their parents’ phone, a sibling’s account, through a friend? At this age, is it too much too soon? Yes. It’s clearly against the terms and conditions of Facebook, which limit the membership age to 13 and up. Plus, and this is important, these kids are simply too young to wade through the waves of unmoderated content that Facebook will hurl at them, which is all designed for the 13+ age group. Those news feeds and ads aren’t meant for young kids. That’s the real rub here. One day your kid will leave the kiddie pool and jump into the “big pool” of the Internet. That water is deep in there, and it can be pretty cold too. Put plainly, this is a massive jump. We cannot be complacent. Our job right now is to help them get ready for that moment. Virtual worlds, using kid-friendly search engines, and eventually setting up an email account can set them up, gradually, to stand on their own. Your kids need you to help them make that transition - and to be available and ready to offer up sound advice when they do. Don’t allow the online world to be the reason they grow up too quickly. Thumbs downFacebook is not the place for kids under the age of 13 - don’t allow them to grow up too fast by diving into these choppy waters. Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 10 16% of 6 to 9 year olds are on Facebook Don’t allow the online world to be the reason they grow up too quickly
  • 12. T easing and bullying online. It’s a huge topic, and another one that gets an entire chapter dedicated to it in my book. It’s that important, so I hope you’ll click that link and take a look. It contains very straightforward advice and lists a number of resources that you can turn to in need. For example, you’ll be glad to know that many schools are becoming an immediate go-to resource to address cyberbullying among students, even if it does not occur on school grounds. Believe me, there’s plenty to talk about here, but my advice is this: if you see something that feels like bullying, it probably is. Act on it, but keep an even keel when you do. Kids always tease each other, so make a clear decision on whether what you see is banter or bullying, and then do what’s right for your child. So as we look at this stat, it would appear that 11% of moms have a child who’s been teased by peers via the Internet. Looking at broader industry statistics, the generally accepted number is around 15%. We can speculate quite a bit about what’s creating that 4% gap, but one thing we can be sure of is the fact that our children won’t always come to us when there is a problem. So, like everything else in raising children, we have to tune into our parental “sixth sense” and be alert for signs that something is up. It’s on us to take an active interest in our children’s moods and activities. At a young age, when your child is down or out of sorts, there’s typically a reason they can point to (they’re not moody teenagers yet). We should look out for other children as well. Happy, healthy and safe children are in everyone’s interest. Take actionOf the mothers we surveyed, 89% said that, to their knowledge, their child hasn’t been teased by peers via the Internet or a mobile device, yet 16% said they knew of their children’s peers who had. How much of this is really going on, and how can we help these kids? Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 11 Make a clear decision on whether what you see is banter or bullying, and then do what’s right for your child
  • 13. O ne of the best ways to keep children happy, healthy and safe is to keep those lines of communication open with your child. Should teasing or bullying ever occur, you want it so that your child feels like he or she can talk to you without feeling pressured or pumped for information. Resist that urge to interrogate or even overreact in the heat of the moment. Be the example that you want to set. Finally, take the proactive approach. Talk to your child before this is an issue. Help them understand what cyberbullying is and what to look out for. But keep fear from being the focus - the Internet is a fun place overall. Even though we have to address some serious issues from time to time, we want our kids to see the Internet as a good thing. There’s little doubt that it will be with them for their entire lifetime. Let’s start them off with the right foundation. Have fun onlineWhile it can be a scary place at times, the Internet generally is a positive and fun environment in which to interact. It’s important that your kids are given the right foundations to enjoy it. Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 12 89% of mothers claimed to have no knowledge of their child being cyberbullied 16% said they knew their children’s peers had been victims of cyberbullying We want our kids to see the Internet as a good thing
  • 14. W hether it’s taking steps to manage and secure a child’s online information or educating them about navigating the online world, we have a responsibility to ensure we give our children the very best digital start possible. It’s my hope that this eBook gives you a little insight into what’s going on with other children and other parents like you. From there, I hope it also gives you a little nudge - to actively think about how you’d like to raise your child who is part of the first fully digital generation. It’s important to step back every once in a while and think about the kind of life we want to lead amidst all this technology. We’re all rather new at this, and that’s okay. There are time-honored lessons we can apply to this new world, in addition to other resources and parents who are doing a good job at figuring out the rest. The important thing is to figure out what works for your family, then to follow up by being a living example of these good behaviors yourself. The Internet is a cool thing, and there’s much we can do to keep it that way. In a nutshellWhile most parents will react quickly to scares surrounding food and medicine, there seems to be a reluctance to address the issues surrounding their child’s online presence. However, with technology evolving at such a rapid pace, these security and privacy issues aren’t something we can afford to ignore. Be Safe Online AVG Digital Diaries www.avg.com 13
  • 15. Enjoy So, there it is. The digital world is engaging and challenging both parents and children and if your interest in our AVG Digital Diaries survey has been piqued then visit our dedicated section on the AVG site for more information: www.avg.com/digitaldiaries Learn more about internet security at www.avg.com